Dear Tree

[TreeGuy]

Alright, wayyy too grumpy around here these days. Lets have some fun. Pretend I'm 'Dear Abby'. Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer! Embrace silly folks. :D

Tree

[Big Buff]

Dear Tree

I don’t want to sound silly but I have a question that I have been struggling with for some time. I appreciate the help and would like you to be as open as possible.

How will I know if my new .270 really likes me? We have been going out for a couple of times and so far she has been very good. I think she likes me but I can not be sure because there was this one time when I got a bit too close and she kicked me hard….still have the physical scar above my left eye, and the emotional scar on my heart.

Please can you help me, I kneed to know for sure????

[TreeGuy]

Well Buff, I think your releationship has potential. We all know those .270's are sleek and sexy beasts. Although having a scar may seem at the time to be a bad thing, look at the positive. You have a fiesty one on your hands there. Treat her right and she'll treat you right. I suggest some flowers and a nice dinner prior to your next trip to the range!:D

Tree

[Hoochie Papa]

Dear Tree,

I think my bow has been letting someone else shoot her. The string isn't as tight as it used to be, and she has been wearing her silencers a little different lately. How do I find out for sure, and what can I do about it?

P.S. It's still OK if I shoot other bows every now and then isn't it?

Archer in Anger.

[Mish]

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Thanks for the laugh guys :)

[lynx]

Dear Tree,

I am having a problem with my 2 sweethearts of my life. It all started years back when just had the one. the love of my life. Why I even fell for another is still unknown. I feel there is jealousy forming which I dont want. Its my tikka 270 and my sako 300 mag, both very dear to me. Neither one of them ever let me down when I needed them. They would do exactly what I expected of them in any position. I never seem to know which one to take with me when I go out. I just can't carry them both anymore. Some times when I leave one at home I feel that I took the wrong sweetheart with me and I feel so low because I did such a thing. How can I over come this problem?

Yours truly.

Depressed

[JohninAB]

Dear Tree,

Do you think this global warming thingy will affect the breeding habits of the White Backed European Sewer Rat?

Deeply Concerned.

[TreeGuy]

Dear Tree,

I think my bow has been letting someone else shoot her. The string isn't as tight as it used to be, and she has been wearing her silencers a little different lately. How do I find out for sure, and what can I do about it?

P.S. It's still OK if I shoot other bows every now and then isn't it?

Archer in Anger.

Dear Archer in Anger,

Wow that sucks. Before you go off all half-cocked (might be a contributing factor in the infedility) make sure you khow everything for a fact! She just may be off with a tuner to make her shoot even better for ya. If that's the case, you may look really bad.

If you can't prove it, take her to the bow shops with you and start fondeling some of those crazy modern looking crossbows, that are waayyyy younger....er newer than she is. Might get a reaction. Good luck!:D

Tree

[lilsundance]

Ok guys keep it clean. I had to delete 2 posts already. anymore and this thread is gone.

[TreeGuy]

Dear Tree,

I am having a problem with my 2 sweethearts of my life. It all started years back when just had the one. the love of my life. Why I even fell for another is still unknown. I feel there is jealousy forming which I dont want. Its my tikka 270 and my sako 300 mag, both very dear to me. Neither one of them ever let me down when I needed them. They would do exactly what I expected of them in any position. I never seem to know which one to take with me when I go out. I just can't carry them both anymore. Some times when I leave one at home I feel that I took the wrong sweetheart with me and I feel so low because I did such a thing. How can I over come this problem?

Yours truly.

Depressed

Dear Depressed,

Suck it up princess! For Heaven's sakes how many people do you know that have never found the true love of their lives? Now you're blessed with two at once and you're complaining about it? Shame.

Sheeze, you're already in a great position as they KNOW about each other and you haven't been shot yet! Bonus. Are those Finnish girls Mormon by any chance?

Dude, the ball is in your court. It's going to take a ton of hard work and some solid management techniques, but you potentially have the perfect situation on your hands! Go to Costco, stock up on Red Bull and get to work. Let me know so I can live vicariously. My BLR .243 will NOT play with others, and although the scratches, scars and dings all have great memories attributed to them, she just isn't the same gun as the day I got her.:o

Good Luck!:wave:
Tree

[TreeGuy]

Dear Tree,

Do you think this global warming thingy will affect the breeding habits of the White Backed European Sewer Rat?

Deeply Concerned.

Dear Deeply Concerned,

ABSOLUTLY the warming thingy will affect the breeding habits of the White Backed European Sewer Rat! Think about it! Their natural environment is in sewers hanging out with the 'dippers and the greens. Seeing as how I just read the Mr. Al Gore has just compleated his comperhensive scientific work on the warming thingy, and he has just declared that the oceans will rise 47 meters in the next 3 years, I forsee doom for the White Backed European Sewer rats. On the bright side they're rats and maybe the 'dippers and greens will go extinct with 'em, although the smart money has to go with the rats!:lol:

Tree

[Grizzly Adams]

Not to pick on your Avatar, Tree, but you should try it this way.:D Just a short piece of rope and all for some pig feed.

http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL1230/4210318/8819103/305898860.jpg
Grizz

[TreeGuy]

Cool Pic Grizz. Climbing those things is just nuts! Get it? NUTS!:lol:

Although that skill may be good the keep one's sorry but around on
'Survivor', in real life they are bad news. The fronds are often home to stinging insects or poisous snakes/insects. The species is the single greatest killer of arborists in the world.:(

Enough serious stuff, bring on the silly!:evilgrin:

Tree

[BigBuck$]

I seem to be getting too much ummm..... "Kitty". I have already started another thead titled "stray cats". My wife wants this problem to end and to my surprise so do I. What can I do to make this stop? :evilgrin:

[Kanonfodder]

Dear Tree:

I have this 'er freind, ya his name is uh... let's say Jamie...he has a problem. You see he suffers from dillusions that his cities sports team are world class :huh: , his hockey team although on a good run is just not that good, his football team, like his hockey team, is a perenial first round loser. It happens year after year almost without fail, oh I admit like a blind squirrel who finds an occasional acorn, the teams have on occasion won the big prize but just enough to feed my poor friends delussion. It's so sad I mean a perfectly normal (:lol: ) man in other regards, with no clue as to the sporting world. So sad, Tree what can we do? Shock therapy? Drugs? It's obvious he's had a frontal lobotomy already I mean he's a freakn Flames fan.....what to do

Signed Concerned in the City of Champions
:tongue2: :tongue2:

[TreeGuy]

I seem to be getting too much ummm..... "Kitty". I have already started another thead titled "stray cats". My wife wants this problem to end and to my surprise so do I. What can I do to make this stop? :evilgrin:

True story. I worked in Didsbury this weekend and since I was meeting my buddy on his acerage, I tossed a few deer parts in the back of my truck to dispose of (YES I do procrastinate). Anyway, after being parked at his house for an hour I finally get in my truck and start to take off...........there were like 7 cats bail out! It was the funniest thing ever!:lol:

As for your problem.........Hmmmmm. Initially, I'm inclined to say that there is no such thing as too much kitty. I love cats and own 3!:evilgrin: With that being said, I've had the most success in my single days of deterring kitties by not showering for a couple of days, not shaving for a week and getting extra ongions on my burgers. Mothballs in your pockets can be effective too.

Otherwise, all of my other suggestions may be illegal, but let your imagination roam and heed your multiple PM's!:evilgrin:

Good Luck!
Tree

[TreeGuy]

Dear Tree:

I have this 'er freind, ya his name is uh... let's say Jamie...he has a problem. You see he suffers from dillusions that his cities sports team are world class :huh: , his hockey team although on a good run is just not that good, his football team, like his hockey team, is a perenial first round loser. It happens year after year almost without fail, oh I admit like a blind squirrel who finds an occasional acorn, the teams have on occasion won the big prize but just enough to feed my poor friends delussion. It's so sad I mean a perfectly normal (:lol: ) man in other regards, with no clue as to the sporting world. So sad, Tree what can we do? Shock therapy? Drugs? It's obvious he's had a frontal lobotomy already I mean he's a freakn Flames fan.....what to do

Signed Concerned in the City of Champions
:tongue2: :tongue2:

Kannon, I'm quite familiar with this tragic and very sad syndrone. For those reasons, I am a huge supporter of the Special Olympics. Jamie is a good man and he does the best he can with what he has. If cheering for the Flames makes him happy, then good for him!:evilgrin:

Tree

[Jamie]

Sorry guys.. I haven't had time to read this thread. I have been busy getting ready for Calgary's Playoff run. How are preparations going up north?

Jamie

[nekred]

Dear Tree,

I am so sick of brand questionsin archery forum, eg.

What brand of broadhead....
What brand of bow!......
What Brand o arrow....
What brand of rest.....
What brand of stabilizer....
What brand of sight...
What brand of release....
What brand of doohickey...
What brand of thingamajigbobber.....

What should I do.... It is realy bothering my hunting bow "Shirley" especially.
She is a Mathews Outback, with a cobra sight, Trophy taker rest, Cobra Stabilizer. She shoots carbon express or patriot arrows with a Montec broadhead on the front fletched with Vanetec vanes, on bohning wraps, She is dressed with a Worlds,Best String and is paired with a Tru Ball release.?

She is feeling so insecure when she is beside Nellie My 3D bow who is a Bowtech Guardian, with a Toxonics Sight, BOSS Scope, Doinker Stabiliser, with Doinker Side Bar connected with a Cartel Vbar adapter, and is dressed with World's best String and is accesorised with a STS, shooting ACE arrows....

Because of all the differences between these bows they are suffering brand envy and when they see the brand posts they get so insecure and fear I will trade them off. I try to let them know that I love them equally just use them in different situations and like their individuality and that brand does not matter as long as they do their job!

Please help me!....

Aced in Archery!

[Nationwide]

Dear Tree please help i am a little confused by this post can you help??:confused: .



Sorry guys.. I haven't had time to read this thread. I have been busy getting ready for Calgary's Playoff run. How are preparations going up north?

Jamie

[mud slug]

deer tree

i'm going through withdraul, i miss bow hunting. today i stoped at a dollar store and picked up one of there $2 plastic archery sets, and went back to work. i set my blind (couple of old boxs and a skid)in a natural funnel between the coffee pot and the bathroom. shooting was good for a while, untell they(shippers) figured out my setup then shooting slowed down. i even tried useing decoys with the help of a few drivers(not in season by threat of hanging me by my boots from the rafters) that helped for one or two of the dumber ones.thats when i swiched to spot and stock that helped for around a hour untill they became kind of skitish and would bolt at mear site. my question is this should i try baiting? i know timbits work well with shippers in my area. what do you think? bow hunter in withdraul


no shippers were hurt in todays hijinx

[Shrubs]

Dear Tree,

I have a German Shorthaired Pointer and he hasn't been himself lately. All he seems to want to do is hang out by himself and look at the floor.

My wife says that if he doesn't perk up she's gonna trade him in for a Giant Schnauzer.

What do I do?

Worried out west.

[TreeGuy]

Dear Tree,

I am so sick of brand questionsin archery forum, eg.

What brand of broadhead....
What brand of bow!......
What Brand o arrow....
What brand of rest.....
What brand of stabilizer....
What brand of sight...
What brand of release....
What brand of doohickey...
What brand of thingamajigbobber.....

What should I do.... It is realy bothering my hunting bow "Shirley" especially.
She is a Mathews Outback, with a cobra sight, Trophy taker rest, Cobra Stabilizer. She shoots carbon express or patriot arrows with a Montec broadhead on the front fletched with Vanetec vanes, on bohning wraps, She is dressed with a Worlds,Best String and is paired with a Tru Ball release.?

She is feeling so insecure when she is beside Nellie My 3D bow who is a Bowtech Guardian, with a Toxonics Sight, BOSS Scope, Doinker Stabiliser, with Doinker Side Bar connected with a Cartel Vbar adapter, and is dressed with World's best String and is accesorised with a STS, shooting ACE arrows....

Because of all the differences between these bows they are suffering brand envy and when they see the brand posts they get so insecure and fear I will trade them off. I try to let them know that I love them equally just use them in different situations and like their individuality and that brand does not matter as long as they do their job!

Please help me!....

Aced in Archery!

Dear Aced in Archery,

You've made two mistakes here that I can see. The first one is letting them know about each other and the second is giving them the names Shirely and Nelly.:huh:

However, your bed is made and you know have to live with it, but it's gonna cost ya!

Those of us who a lucky enough to be married know full well that no women is happy with just one outfit or pair of shoes. What your going to have to do is fill your girls' closets with all the newest and shinyiest toys to try on. It's going to be expensive, but the alternative is going to just one bow which is just silly. Hard work and distraction is going to have to be your friend. Good luck and keep us updated!:D

Tree

[TreeGuy]

Dear Tree please help i am a little confused by this post can you help??:confused: .

Nation, I have to refer back to being a huge supporter of the Special Olympics!:lol:

Tree

[TreeGuy]

deer tree

i'm going through withdraul, i miss bow hunting. today i stoped at a dollar store and picked up one of there $2 plastic archery sets, and went back to work. i set my blind (couple of old boxs and a skid)in a natural funnel between the coffee pot and the bathroom. shooting was good for a while, untell they(shippers) figured out my setup then shooting slowed down. i even tried useing decoys with the help of a few drivers(not in season by threat of hanging me by my boots from the rafters) that helped for one or two of the dumber ones.thats when i swiched to spot and stock that helped for around a hour untill they became kind of skitish and would bolt at mear site. my question is this should i try baiting? i know timbits work well with shippers in my area. what do you think? bow hunter in withdraul


no shippers were hurt in todays hijinx

Mud, you mad me laugh. It brough back some great memories of hunting magpies!

http://www.outdoorsmenforum.ca/showthread.php?t=8921

Baiting shippers with timbits and nailing 'em with a $2 Walmart archery set! That's too much. I can't top that.:lol:

OK, OK. If they start getting skittish about the pasteries, try this. Super glue a couple of twonies to the floor. Should occupie 'em long enough to get a shot. Otherwise, you may have to upgrade to the faster and flatter shooting $8 Canadian Tire set! Happy hunting and watch your back. I hope you don't work with Nekred as that cat knows how to get the practicle jokes done!:lol:

Tree

[TreeGuy]

Dear Tree,

I have a German Shorthaired Pointer and he hasn't been himself lately. All he seems to want to do is hang out by himself and look at the floor.

My wife says that if he doesn't perk up she's gonna trade him in for a Giant Schnauzer.

What do I do?

Worried out west.

Dear Worried out West,

Get your pooch to the vet asap! Those giant schnauzers can be pretty tough to compete with. The vet will likely give your GSP a certain type of medication that has been widely proven to perk your buddy up in no time. However, until that comes to pass, I'd suggest swallowing your pride a bit and getting your wife a toy dog to occupy her time until your GSP starts feeling back like himself again and can once again look you in the eye with pride! Good luck!:evilgrin:

Tree

[bagwan]

Dear Abb...uh Tree. I know this forum guy who hunts with sharp sticks or a gun and he has been very delusional over the past year. He picks on poor fellers who cheers for those sport teams down south. He hides in out of the way spots and tries to bag those pesky mag pie critters. Good thing hes married cause his wife ends up cleaning up his messes. He climbs and cuts down some rather large trees for a living. Do you think it possible he fell out and conked his noggin? What can we do to help this wayward soul? I.m sure he'll read your fantastic advice.

[mud slug]

dear tree

thanks for the advise. i tried the timbits, but to many vultures around(drivers)by the time i shoed them away there were no timbits left. so i took your advise. i couldn't find any superglue, so i tack welded a lonnie and a tonnie to the dockplate.had to spread a little mud on them to cover the heat marks. worked like a charm. baged(literaly)the bigest shipper in the wharehouse, gee somepeople get testy. hunting was good untell i shot the new hot secertary accidently(my best shot of the day) in the backside. you should she what she did to my bow and my little suction cup arrows.that brought a end to hunting for the day. this brings me to my next question. is it to early for supersoaker season? oh and how do you untack a lonnie and a tonnie rom a dockplate? broke and still in withdraul

[TreeGuy]

LMFAO!:lol:

Mud, it's been a loonnggg day today and your post just cracked me up and gave me a much needed laugh! Thanks.

You're gonna be just fine. There is no more advice I can offer you, for you are well on the road to a life of mischief. I salute you and welcome to the team. Hang in there.

Tree

PS The superglued coin trick works good in social settings with an attractive crowd. Oh year, supersoakers are a must have to any prankster's essential arsenal. Just remember escalation of tactics has a direct result in releated consequences, so beware!:evilgrin:

[BloodHound70]

Great posts Mud!!!!!:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

BH

p.s. Tree, very funny idea for this thread....is a very fun read:lol: :lol:

[TreeGuy]

Dear Abb...uh Tree. I know this forum guy who hunts with sharp sticks or a gun and he has been very delusional over the past year. He picks on poor fellers who cheers for those sport teams down south. He hides in out of the way spots and tries to bag those pesky mag pie critters. Good thing hes married cause his wife ends up cleaning up his messes. He climbs and cuts down some rather large trees for a living. Do you think it possible he fell out and conked his noggin? What can we do to help this wayward soul? I.m sure he'll read your fantastic advice.

Dear Bagwan,

First off, it's ADD!:D

Sorry for the delay in replying as my system went down as I was responding last night. Anyway, here it goes.......

I'll let ya in on the route to perpetual happiness. The secret to life is LOW expectations, that way EVERYTHING is a plesant surprise!:lol: So I guess what I'm saying is that you are expecting waaayyyy too much out of someone who is crazy enough to climb trees for a living! Of course you can never rule out a head injury, but I'd guess that his problems run way deeper than that. If it was a head injury you would know for sure because he would immediatly become a Flames fan!:evilgrin:

I say buy that cat a beer and embrace his quirkeyness! I bet I'd like him!:lol:

Tree

[nekred]

You may want to glue a 5 dollar billon to the end of a fishing line and you may be able to reel them in close enough to dispatch with your bow!...

Or bring the secretary right into the blind!.....

[RandyBoBandy]

Dear Tree, I need your call on regulations. I like to hunt and fish. Which licence to I need to purchase? What I do when setting up in a goose blind is to take my fishing rod with 40lb test, put a hook into a little pile of peas and when the unsuspecting goose eats the peas, I set the hook and then GAME ON!!:tongue2: I am illegally baiting?:lol:

[TreeGuy]

Dear Tree, I need your call on regulations. I like to hunt and fish. Which licence to I need to purchase? What I do when setting up in a goose blind is to take my fishing rod with 40lb test, put a hook into a little pile of peas and when the unsuspecting goose eats the peas, I set the hook and then GAME ON!!:tongue2: I am illegally baiting?:lol:

Dear Mr Leahy,

For God's sake man, stop hunting with Ricky! I suspect that your bait pile contains more than just peas!:evilgrin:

Regardless, as entertaining as 'kite fishing' can be it is highly illegal and if caught you will face jail time and even the most remote chance of you getting your badge back will be gone!

Now I know that things are done differently at the trailer park, so all I'll say is that the next time you do it, at LEAST make the hooks barbless, 'cause those honkers can be a nightmare to release!

Tree

PS True story: I've had that happen to me before with a seagull fishing the docks in Port Hawksbury. Absolute mayhem!:lol:

[Bullfrog]

You Guy's are nutt's...:lol: Great laff..thank you for that.:lol: