HAPPY 72nd BIRTHDAY CHUCK NORRIS

[Ruger1022]

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice with his bare hands...out of an apple

Chuck Norris doesnt mow his lawn, he just stares at the grass and dares it to grow.

When Chuck Norris does push ups, he dosn't push up he pushes the earth down!!

Whats your favorite??

[reelhooker]

Some people have tattoo's of Jesus on their arms. Jesus has a tattoo of chuck.
RH

[redranger15]

http://i921.photobucket.com/albums/ad59/moosehunter3/404364_314460201934842_288415244539338_836652_1604 906052_n.jpg

[catnthehat]

Superman wears Chuck Norris Payamas

Chuck Norris can bump fire a bolt action ( likely my favourite Chuck Norris joke!):sHa_sarcasticlol:
Cat

[winger7mm]

Chuck Norris doesnt have a birthday, Birthdays have a Chuck Norris

[M70]

His appeal is international but after all why wouldn't it be?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/feb/23/slovaks-bridge-chuck-norris

[AxeMan]

When the Boogeyman goes to bed, he checks for Chuck Norris under his bed.

[Donkey Oatey]

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he keeps air hostage.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

[Oldmanfry]

As a teenager, Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. 9months later the nuns gave birth to the '72 dolphins. The only undefeated and untied professional football team.

[billycap]

Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare he only eats unicorns

[Boxer-O]

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
Chuck Norris once peed in the fuel tank of a Semi Tractor as a joke........that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

[Hondya]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXJg577MDQg
The latest Chuck Norris video.

[Comstar]

Chuck Norris doesn't battle he just allows you to lose

God asks Chuck for guidance

[huntinstuff]

Jesus walked on water
Chuck Norris swims on dry land

[Lefty-Canuck]

My Favorite....

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Here is one I made up on my own :)

Chuck Norris changes his Black Dodge Dually tires by himself and without a jack.... :)

LC :)

[fish gunner]

if chuck holds an egg, it hard boils it's self
chuck tried fishing once, he gave up when the fish kept jumping in the boat.

[walleyechaser]

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isnt dead it is just afraid to move.

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.

Ghost sit around the camp fire and tell Chuck Norris stories

[NSRfishing]

chuck Norris is a retard

[Dewey Cox]

I don't get that last one

[Smokey]

chuck Norris is a retard

RIP :scared0018:

[Albertadiver]

Chuck Norris created (I said created, not found) a girl that likes BB416.

http://i485.photobucket.com/albums/rr214/albertadiver/Cool%20stuff/Chuck_Norris_Approves.gif

[Icon]

The only hand that beats a Royal Flush is Chuck Norris' hand.

[S&C_Coach]

Chuck Norris created the giraffe by upper cutting a horse

And don't spoil this one and post the answer but if you have a second you need to google: where is Chuck Norris?

Worth it.

[Dewey Cox]

When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat, he doesn't get wet; the water gets chucked.

[gophinator]

Chuck norris knows how to get to sesame street...

[Ridgehunter]

Chuck Norris has a third fist in his beard.

[NUK SOO KOW]

Chuck was the first human on mars... That's why there is no sign of life there!

[bb356]

Chuck Norris created (I said created, not found) a girl that likes BB416.

http://i485.photobucket.com/albums/rr214/albertadiver/Cool%20stuff/Chuck_Norris_Approves.gif

I kinda believe every other post .................... But this has gotta be BS !!! :sHa_sarcasticlol:

[Lefty-Canuck]

chuck Norris is a retard

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yytbDZrw1jc&feature=related

LC :)

[bruinsmaniac]

When Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity, he went and found it and gave it back to her.

Chuck Norris doesnt go hunting cause hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

[Donkey Oatey]

Women don't have periods. Chuck Norris has sex with every woman on Earth once a month and it takes them a week to recover.

[Alberta Bigbore]

Chuck norris knows how to get to sesame street...

This one was awesome!!

[nof60]

Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a *****ing Indian

Chuck Norris has a pet chipmunk named Boris Norris. If you tell Chuck that it's cute that Boris rhymes with Norris, he rhymes "your head" with "roundhouse kick," and then gives Boris a cookie for his troubles.

[James M]

Chuck Norris' watch doesn't tell him the time, he tells it the time.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

[thunderheart]

who is chuck norris ... doesnt he sell chit on tv ....laundry soap? :scared0018:

(stifled snicker)

[nekred]

Chuck Norris has a beard because there is not a razor sharp enough to cut through his whiskers

Chuck Norris, Mr T and Jason Statham all walked into a bar once... it was completely obliterated as there is nothing on earth that could contain that much awesome

Chuck Norris uses a night light not because he is scared of the dark, but because the dark is scared of him.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero, in fact has even done it twice.

Chuck Norris can open velcro silently

When Chick Norris needs to change a light bulb, he holds the bulb in the socket with one hand while he spins the world around with the other.

Chuck Norris once worked as a logger in Mongolia, in the Gobi Desert, even the environmentalists say it was always that way.

[grunger]

For some men one testicle is larger than the other one
For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

[NUK SOO KOW]

Chuck Norris does not use condoms... He sticks his penius in a girl and uses that girl as a condom while he has sex with another girl!

[Classic_Cool]

Chuck Norris cannot be captured on camera. You only see his doubles.

[Classic_Cool]

Chuck Norris knows how many roads a man must walk down.

[Big Sky]

Chuck Norris has his cake and eats it too.