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gitrdone
03-25-2012, 09:10 PM
Situation:

Realationship, over
Bought house together 50/50
Bought stuff for in house 50/50 (TV, recievers etc..)
She has moved out
We are selling the house
She shows up at the house at all hours, without a heads-up call
She is setting up realtor meetings at the house without informing me

Now I found out via a friend she is selling stuff online that we bought together, she has not informed me that she is doing this.

she is also saying that she will be stopping her half of the mortgage payments.

She doesn't like my dog........and I am worried for his safety.

Any help would be greatly appreciated

BeeGuy
03-25-2012, 09:14 PM
****ty

Get a lawyer and document everything.

darius
03-25-2012, 09:14 PM
as a start change the locks.

blackmamba
03-25-2012, 09:17 PM
Same thing happened to me , except I took my dog with me every where I went .. All I can say is a get a lawyer , and document, document document everything , I lost my shorts in my battle ....

tullfan
03-25-2012, 09:18 PM
Nothing of value to add. Sort of been there but was ammicable.It's crappy all thw way with no winners. Change the locks so you have some control over access, and lawyer up.
Sorry to hear about your situation.

Tillfan

blackmamba
03-25-2012, 09:19 PM
as a start change the locks.

legally you cant change the locks , till her name is off title !!

BGSH
03-25-2012, 09:19 PM
Situation:

Realationship, over
Bought house together 50/50
Bought stuff for in house 50/50 (TV, recievers etc..)
She has moved out
We are selling the house
She shows up at the house at all hours, without a heads-up call
She is setting up realtor meetings at the house without informing me

Now I found out via a friend she is selling stuff online that we bought together, she has not informed me that she is doing this.

she is also saying that she will be stopping her half of the mortgage payments.

She doesn't like my dog........and I am worried for his safety.

Any help would be greatly appreciated

Get a lawyer who represents you and they will take care of everything, write everything she is doing down, email your lawyer everything, keep bank accounts separate always unless you know 100% that they are with you for you and always for you, if she is stalking you and you have concerns for your dog this may be a serious case in regards to safety for your dog. You never know if someone is for you these days or your money, if it is your house and she moved in then you married ect.. make sure when she comes to get her stuff that your lawyer is present. it is better to be safe then sorry, goodluck. Oh ya if she is selling your stuff then she will have to pay you back every penny and more, dont say anything let your lawyer do the talking that is what they get paid for.

rwm1273
03-25-2012, 09:19 PM
Where you married? How long where you together?

Do you have enough to buy out her share? If so, buy her share out.

Is she selling your property? Or just items both of you purchased together?

You need to get a court order to stop her selling items.

If you are scared of her harming the dog, then get a restraining order.

darius
03-25-2012, 09:19 PM
legally you cant change the locks , till her name is off title !!

well legally she can 't sell your stuff either .

rwm1273
03-25-2012, 09:22 PM
legally you cant change the locks , till her name is off title !!

My ex changed the locks, and she never was on title.

rugatika
03-25-2012, 09:25 PM
Keep the dog with you at all times! Can't stress this enough. When it comes to dogs they are looked at as property. She could take your dog, and basically it would become hers...posession is 9/10 the law. You could sue her in small claims court, but technically, even if you win, all she would have to do is FINANCIALLY compensate you for the loss of your dog. Do NOT ever let her have access to your dog. Everything else is just stuff. Get a lawyer, and get everything looked after as soon as possible...even if you have to sell the house at a loss. Terminate all ties with her ASAP.

Good luck.

PS: check out huntinstuff's sig line for advice in future romantic adventures.

twofifty
03-25-2012, 09:26 PM
- Get a lawyer.
- Change the locks (possession is 9/10ths) as the house is now your place of residence -not hers- even though she still owns half of it. If the shoe were on the other foot, you would not be able to barge into her residence even though it was your house.
- Post notices next to doors but visible from outside so that if she hires a locksmith, the tradesman will know he would be open to damages if he opens up for her.
- Your bank acct and credit/debit cards ok?
- Notify bank that you are not responsible for anything she borrows on your credit. You may have to post same notices in local paper.

gitrdone
03-25-2012, 09:29 PM
Where you married? How long where you together?

Do you have enough to buy out her share? If so, buy her share out.

Is she selling your property? Or just items both of you purchased together?

You need to get a court order to stop her selling items.

If you are scared of her harming the dog, then get a restraining order.

We were together 3 years, living together for 2 (Not married)

Don't want to buy her out, I would lose more in the long run I think.

We are selling the property but she is selling the stuff in it without talking about it with me.

I don't think she would hurt him, but I'm starting to get concerned concidering the change I've seen in her in the past little while.

Regarding the Changing of the locks, I would like to do that! but I don't want to do anything that is illegal and could come back to kick me in the you know whats.

Thanks everyone!

rugatika
03-25-2012, 09:32 PM
We were together 3 years, living together for 2 (Not married)

Don't want to buy her out, I would lose more in the long run I think.

We are selling the property but she is selling the stuff in it without talking about it with me.

I don't think she would hurt him, but I'm starting to get concerned concidering the change I've seen in her in the past little while.

Regarding the Changing of the locks, I would like to do that! but I don't want to do anything that is illegal and could come back to kick me in the you know whats.

Thanks everyone!

Dude...do NOT ever underestimate how diabolical a woman can turn against you. EVER! lol. Get a lawyer first thing tomorrow morning. (and take your dog with you). Men friends will shrug their shoulders and say sorry to hear that dude...her friends will be filling her in on all the ways she can screw you over.

Oh and move anything of yours that you value to a friends house or family that you can trust. (pictures, sentimental things, etc etc)

darius
03-25-2012, 09:32 PM
even tho she owns 1/2 she left so you can change the locks .

just tell her you are doing it (reg letter) and tell her she can come in and get her crap out. all in the letter .

BeeGuy
03-25-2012, 09:38 PM
Dude...do NOT ever underestimate how diabolical a woman can turn against you. EVER! lol. Get a lawyer first thing tomorrow morning. (and take your dog with you). Men friends will shrug their shoulders and say sorry to hear that dude...her friends will be filling her in on all the ways she can screw you over.

Oh and move anything of yours that you value to a friends house or family that you can trust. (pictures, sentimental things, etc etc)

sad but true

rwm1273
03-25-2012, 09:40 PM
We were together 3 years, living together for 2 (Not married)

Don't want to buy her out, I would lose more in the long run I think.

We are selling the property but she is selling the stuff in it without talking about it with me.

I don't think she would hurt him, but I'm starting to get concerned concidering the change I've seen in her in the past little while.

Regarding the Changing of the locks, I would like to do that! but I don't want to do anything that is illegal and could come back to kick me in the you know whats.

Thanks everyone!

She moved out, so you live there until it sells. You can change the locks. If you still have her coming to the house, get a restraining order on her, and if she comes to the house, you need to have her arrested. There is no room for chivalry anymore. If you don't stand up for your rights, you won't have any, and there will not be anything like a 50/50 split. It will be more like 110/-10, as you will lose everything, and end up paying for it.

Since you were not married, you follow Alberta laws. In Alberta there are few property rights if you were not married.

You can go to the court house and file an affidavit protecting your assets from her selling them, and also making you the resident of the house. However she is eligible for occupational rent for the time you live in the house.

bessiedog
03-25-2012, 09:42 PM
Change the locks

Set out a big connibear as a welcome mat

Google up 'best divorce letter ever'

Customize and send

HunterDave
03-25-2012, 09:48 PM
Get legal advice right away.......tomorrow morning! These things can escalate pretty quickly plus you don't want to break the law by changing locks, not allowing her access, etc if it isn't legal to do. A lawyer will know right away what you have to do and the first visit is usually a freebie.

gitrdone
03-25-2012, 09:49 PM
I really do just want to get this over as fast as possible! and run!:scared0018:

So............can I change the locks? I think this will open up a whole can of dung

If I take my dog with me, he will be in my truck for 8hrs........

I will be contacting a lawyer tomorrow for sure!!!!!

And staying single for a LONG TIME!

Speckle55
03-25-2012, 09:53 PM
Just keep the dog with you at all times and keep a record of what was in the house and then move on with you life and consider yourself lucky you don't have any kids .. good luck with your next partner. don't fret over the small stuff the stress will kill you..and hey it was good for awhile .. i have lots of scars on my heart and check book but hey thats life..why waste your money on a lawyer in three years you have nothing really.. at least your not Paul Mccartney with Heather Mills..

Food for Thought
David

twofifty
03-25-2012, 09:53 PM
The guys are right about how 99.99% of women behave in a separation.
It is like they flipped a switch.

Those lovely eyes that once gazed upon your magnificence will now look upon you with contempt and white hot rage. Many will do almost anything to reduce you to a shadow of your former self. For many it's a primordial need.

This is SOP and there's lawyers out there she can hire who will see you as the guy who will pay for this year's African safari, their airplane payments and a country club inititation fee. $10,000 of your after-tax money they will pay into charity: both as a tax write-off and to soothe their greedy souls.

Don't bank on yours being among the .01% who are happy with a fair split.

/rant

Bushrat
03-25-2012, 09:54 PM
Take your guns out of the house. Women can get nasty, if she decided to tell the authorities you threatened her , whether true or not, they will give her the benefit of the doubt and they will have to take action, which means your guns will be seized.

rwm1273
03-25-2012, 09:55 PM
I really do just want to get this over as fast as possible! and run!:scared0018:

So............can I change the locks? I think this will open up a whole can of dung

If I take my dog with me, he will be in my truck for 8hrs........

I will be contacting a lawyer tomorrow for sure!!!!!

And staying single for a LONG TIME!

Yes you can change the locks. She moved out. If she wants her items, she can make arrangements with you. You can't prevent her from having her stuff, but she can't come whenever she wants either.

twofifty
03-25-2012, 09:57 PM
+1 on storing your guns at a friend's house. Do it tomorrow.
One false accusation and you are done-done-done for.

As to a lawyer, pay for protection and to reach a fair and reasonable settlement. Don't pay to fight your way out of the normal and usual obligations.

Ken07AOVette
03-25-2012, 09:58 PM
She left the marital house. Make sure you tell the lawyer that, and change the locks immediately. Post notices that your estranged wife has left the home and therefore is barred from entering the property, cancel all credit cards, document everything, notify utilities, bank, etc. Act quickly. If you are going to leave he residence get someone you trust to house sit and call the RCMP if she breaks in. Move anything of value off site that belongs to you.

If you leave the house and she gets in you will not get her out if she does not want to leave, and you will be paying the mortgage for 2 houses.

twofifty
03-25-2012, 10:01 PM
^ uh-huh. A favorite and devastating tactic. It simultaneously attacks your wallet, your credit rating, and your mind.

Big Daddy Badger
03-25-2012, 10:02 PM
Get a lawyer and keep her away from that dog.
Guy I worked with had to rescue his at the last minute...she almost managed to have it put down!
If he hadn't gone home early....

Sounds like you need to get some stuff on paper before she bleeds you dry and comes looking for more.

Good luck.

gitrdone
03-25-2012, 10:10 PM
+1 on storing your guns at a friend's house. Do it tomorrow.
One false accusation and you are done-done-done for.

As to a lawyer, pay for protection and to reach a fair and reasonable settlement. Don't pay to fight your way out of the normal and usual obligations.

All my firearms will be out tomorrow, a good friend is letting me store them in his safe.

Is there any suggestions on "Good" Lawyers out there. I have found one with 29 years experience that seems good.

HunterDave
03-25-2012, 10:13 PM
At this point any lawyer would do. If it gets ugly then you might want to find a different (better) one.

twofifty
03-25-2012, 10:16 PM
There is a formal process out there called Alternative Dispute Resolution.
Your lawyer can advise you as to the up and downsides of ADR.

It is popular with Xes who are not trying to drive each other into bankruptcy and just want to get on with their lives. Not having kids to fight over is a big predictor of ADR success.

airbornedeerhunter
03-25-2012, 10:19 PM
For starters, if she knows you frequent this forum and knows your username. Stop posting stuff on here!!!! If she is vindictive she will be trolling looking for anything that she can use against you. Don't give her any ammunition!

Hide your Dog!

horsetrader
03-25-2012, 10:25 PM
Get legal advice right away.......tomorrow morning! These things can escalate pretty quickly plus you don't want to break the law by changing locks, not allowing her access, etc if it isn't legal to do. A lawyer will know right away what you have to do and the first visit is usually a freebie.

Smart advice just because she left the house is not proof that she does not live there. you leave the house every day to go to work. If you change the locks you could be charged with interfering with her rights to life. Because you are not married you are classified as tenants in common even though you both own the house. Don't let some guys talk you in to trouble. Talk to a lawyer first before you take any actions. Feel for you buddy been there twice.

Yéil
03-25-2012, 10:28 PM
I really do just want to get this over as fast as possible! and run!:scared0018:

So............can I change the locks? I think this will open up a whole can of dung

If I take my dog with me, he will be in my truck for 8hrs........

I will be contacting a lawyer tomorrow for sure!!!!!

And staying single for a LONG TIME!

Call the law society's lawyer referral line and get the name of three lawyers. Call each lawyer and make an appt. The law society will cover a half hour consultation with each one.

Questions to ask:

1. Under Alberta family law, can one spouse retain the services of a real estate agent and put the matrimonial home up for sale? (most jurisdictions require consent by both parties - to prevent the mat home being sold out from under a spouse.)

2. Can you obtain an exclusive possession of the home until it is sold?
An EP sets out that one spouse obtains the exclusive rights to the home and the other spouse is no longer allowed to enter it.

Some issues to address prior to you speaking to a lawyer:

You can change the locks on the home if you are concerned that there are keys at large. (just rekey the doors)

You should get a print out of the balances of any joint accounts. Take out your half.

Itemize all furnishings and effects and attach a garage sale price to them for a starting point to splitting them. It will always come down to a dollar figure in the end so the more you can document and provide costs for, the better.

Itemize any jewellery she may still have and what you possess. Take pics of it if you can.

List any stocks, bonds and RRSPs or saving account and other investments.

Make sure you convert the vehicle insurance policy into your name if it is a joint policy. You'd be surprised how many people don't do that and end up losing their policy and having to start a new one... gets expensive. If the car and its payments are in your name, make sure you ground the car (take the plates off it) until she either refinances it or pays for it herself. Do you really want to be on the hook for a car you don't still have in your possession?

Itemize all your current debts, bills and utilities. Those also have to be split so you need to have accurate amounts.

If you have a will, change it. Divorce does not null and void a will.

Get a estimate of your pensions. Hers and yours. Family law sets out pension splitting and it goes both ways for each partner.

Save and print any sales advertisements you see regarding your belongings... when the calculation day comes to accounting for the property split, you can show she liquidated some of the assets.

Get the dog into a doggie daycare while you are sorting out the house and divorce. The dog will be safer and you won't worry about the beastie while you are work. Guess what, she may be liable to pay half the costs as well... the dog is a half property liability on her part.

Change any insurance beneficiaries from her name to someone else.

Keep receipts of everything.

Alberta requires matrimonial issues to be mediated the first go round. So be prepared to have to sit down and deal with your ex and her counsel.

And remember... he who gets to the judge first, gets the court order. If you wait for her to act first, you'll be the respondent and have to play catch up to all her petitions, affidavits and discoveries.

Don't forget to always ask for costs.

Good luck.

Yéil
03-25-2012, 10:40 PM
If you want I could explain how the property division works.

Oh forgot one important thing to do, get your credit file split. Call the bureau that you are on file with and make an appt to get your files severed. You do not want credit being applied for or continue having your names together in case she goes on a debt increasing spree.

If you have credit cards, and she is a cardholder on your account - cancel the card.

r2d246
03-25-2012, 10:45 PM
Well I'd try and stay on her good side. Just keep saying stuff like "look I know we had our ups and downs, and I understand that we both need to move on but I'd still like to be your friend". And don't just say it, try to mean if it you can. That will keep some peace.

But if you think there's a problem brewing just keep your camera rolling as much as possible. She might not have to know your filming. Just make it look like your carrying your cell phone in your hand, but have it record any incidents. Don't go out of your way looking for situations to film though. But if she shows up at 3am pounding at the door and not willing to listen to any reason, perhaps it might be worth filming. Stuff like that I think could help later if you end up court. But the golden rule always tends to work out best for people in the end.

Ali
03-25-2012, 10:56 PM
as a start change the locks.

X2

Big Daddy Badger
03-25-2012, 11:06 PM
At this point any lawyer would do. If it gets ugly then you might want to find a different (better) one.

Yup... make sure you have one lined up with some court time behind them in case it gets out of hand.

horsetrader
03-25-2012, 11:09 PM
Family Law: Marriage Breakdown or

Breakdown of a Common Law Spousal or
Same-Sex Partner Relationship
6. Matrimonial Home

A matrimonial home is defined by the Family Law Act to be “every property in which a person has an interest and that is or, if the spouses have separated, was at the time of the separation ordinarily occupied by the person and his or her spouse as their family residence”. Only married spouses may have a matrimonial home. The significance of having a matrimonial home is that both spouses have an equal right to possession, regardless of ownership. That is, one spouse may legally own the home, but, nevertheless, both spouses will be equally entitled to live in it. If a relationship breaks down, the spouse owning the matrimonial home is not entitled to require the other spouse to leave it. Likewise, one spouse cannot unilaterally change the locks to a matrimonial home. This entitlement to equal possession can be varied only by court order or agreement (not including a marriage contract).

A court order for exclusive possession of a matrimonial home will be granted in only limited circumstances. Typically, some evidence will be required of physical abuse or violence, or behaviour on the part of one of the spouses clearly adverse to the best interests of the children living in the matrimonial home. Significantly, emotional abuse on the part of one of the spouses against the other spouse is usually not sufficient on its own to warrant an order of exclusive possession.

The more subtle implications of having a matrimonial home are that the spouse legally owning the home is not entitled to sell it or to encumber it without the consent of his or her spouse. Usually, the consenting spouse will have to obtain independent legal advice in relation to the nature and implications of granting the requested consent.

It is possible to have more than one matrimonial home. For example, spouses may have a principal residence as well as vacation properties. So long as these homes fall within the definition of “matrimonial home”, all of the homes may be matrimonial homes. Because of the significant restrictions on the owning or leasing spouse of having a matrimonial home, it may be desirable for the spouses to jointly designate which properties are to be treated as a matrimonial home. There is a particular process to be followed in doing so, involving the registration of a document on title to the matrimonial home. Once a home is designated by this method as a matrimonial home, the other homes which would, otherwise, be matrimonial homes lose their character as such, and can be sold or encumbered without the consent of the other spouse.

dadof5
03-25-2012, 11:19 PM
As a lawyer I am always intrigued by the advise sought and given on this forum. If I had my guesses, one previous poster has some experience in the legal department. The remainder may or may not be leading you astray. Family law is very case specific, especially in common law type situations. Contact a lawyer tomorrow who will ask a great deal more questions and then be in a position to offer valuable advise.

BTW, My appendix are sore and must likely need to be removed, can someone please tell me how to take them out? If anyone had yours removed perhaps you can teach me! OR, perhaps I will just call the DR. and let them take care of it...?

rugatika
03-25-2012, 11:33 PM
As a lawyer I am always intrigued by the advise sought and given on this forum. If I had my guesses, one previous poster has some experience in the legal department. The remainder may or may not be leading you astray. Family law is very case specific, especially in common law type situations. Contact a lawyer tomorrow who will ask a great deal more questions and then be in a position to offer valuable advise.

BTW, My appendix are sore and must likely need to be removed, can someone please tell me how to take them out? If anyone had yours removed perhaps you can teach me! OR, perhaps I will just call the DR. and let them take care of it...?

Just google a picture of human anatomy, get a nice sharp paring knife and a bottle of whisky. Doctors are overpaid. lol.


Like I said...guard the dog, and sentimental items, and talk to a lawyer first thing in the morning.

"Hope for the best, prepare for the worst."

Tony_S
03-26-2012, 05:15 AM
Dude...do NOT ever underestimate how diabolical a woman can turn against you. EVER!

Good advise everyone has given you about the lawyer....do it immediately.

Even if you think things are going better than expected...Hell unleashed could be staring you in the face.

Change Kurt Russell to a woman in this scene....and....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0ndsXVaPwc

braggadoe
03-26-2012, 05:43 AM
here's a question?

a friend of mine has owned his own house for 12 years. a couple of years ago he shacks up with a girl and her child, not his.

now she is saying that she owns half his house.


could this be true?

cougar chaser
03-26-2012, 06:06 AM
dont fight with the block head,, just be glad she is gone,, dont worry about the tv and stuff,,, its just stuff and lawyer bill will be worth more than the material things,,,but get a good lawyer so you get half the house,,, not a quarter of it

rugatika
03-26-2012, 06:11 AM
here's a question?

a friend of mine has owned his own house for 12 years. a couple of years ago he shacks up with a girl and her child, not his.

now she is saying that she owns half his house.


could this be true?

yup...I think it has to be 3 years of living together though. Consult a lawyer. lol. Especially before 3 years. If she's talking like that he might be able to kick her to the curb...no harm no foul if he acts soon enough. Talk to a lawyer!

dadof5
03-26-2012, 06:42 AM
yup...I think it has to be 3 years of living together though. Consult a lawyer. lol. Especially before 3 years. If she's talking like that he might be able to kick her to the curb...no harm no foul if he acts soon enough. Talk to a lawyer!

There are no clearly defined rules in property division of a common law relationship. Again, it is very situational dependent. There are a lot more facts that must be discussed before proper advice could be given.

The short answer to your question is that she likely isn't entitled to half, but MAY be entitled to something. The facts are ever important. Thus, legal advice is for your situation. Not all situations!

Sundancefisher
03-26-2012, 06:55 AM
Questions to ask:

1. Under Alberta family law, can one spouse retain the services of a real estate agent and put the matrimonial home up for sale? (most jurisdictions require consent by both parties - to prevent the mat home being sold out from under a spouse.)

Anyone can put their share of the house up for sale...she can sell her share. You could get a new roommate. However it will be hard to sell her share of the house to a third party knowing you are there and not happy. In this market the only way to sell the house is together...she may wish to get a realtor appraisal. She may be fine with you buying her half out and you could negotiate a lower price by not going through an agent. Suggest she does not sign with an agent as it will bind her to the realtor fee.

http://homebuying.about.com/od/marketfactstrends/qt/0207TinCommon.htm

S-in-Cochrane
03-26-2012, 07:03 AM
Get a lawyer.

If you were only living together for 2 years, she does not necessarily have entitlement to anything of yours.

The stuff you bought together is different. But your RRSPs etc are YOURS.

I used Bell & Stock in Calgary when I went through this. You would be surprised what the legal status of Common-law is. It is certainly not 50-50 like a lot of people would lead you to believe.

If the dog is YOURS and you can prove it (I had a hell of time with this because I paid cash for mine) then get him to a friends... relatives whatever... mine spent a month in MB with my parents.

Taco
03-26-2012, 07:04 AM
Lawyer up and quit askin' for free marital law advise from a bunch of internet cowboys

rugatika
03-26-2012, 07:07 AM
It's almost getting to the point where you should lawyer up as soon as you start dating someone. (and I don't think I'm being too hyperbolic on that...maybe just a little...but not much).

Bigdad013
03-26-2012, 07:38 AM
Lawyer up and quit askin' for free marital law advise from a bunch of internet cowboys

x2

S-in-Cochrane
03-26-2012, 07:39 AM
It's almost getting to the point where you should lawyer up as soon as you start dating someone. (and I don't think I'm being too hyperbolic on that...maybe just a little...but not much).

I will NEVER live with someone again without having a cohabitation / pre-nuptial agreement.

NEVER. I got boned because I didn't know my rights in the split up. Won't make that mistake again.

darius
03-26-2012, 07:45 AM
Lawyer up and quit askin' for free marital law advise from a bunch of internet cowboys

internet cowboys is right !

winged1
03-26-2012, 07:47 AM
you say that 'we are selling the house'. Call up the Realtor and tell them that any showings must be appointed through you as you are the resident. Doesn't sound like a problem though, as your intent would be to provide an easy show for a prompt sale. Take inventory of your assets. In a civilized manner, discuss an acceptable split with your ex, meet at the conveying lawyers office and forward your decisions upon them, and they will disperse the funds accordingly. They'll charge a bit more for handling the accounting of minor asset dispersal, but it would beat all to hell the costs of aquiring a lawyer specifically for that purpose.

Redfrog
03-26-2012, 07:53 AM
Lawyer up
Move firearms
Change the locks
Train the dog to attack
Post nekkid pics on the internet to keep her busy till the house sells.......hmmmm.... maybe afterwards as well. Could be a huge career boost for her. :)

Do not say I just want to get this over with as soon as possible. If that is the case take the dog, sleeping bag and guns, sign it all over to her and leave.

rwm1273
03-26-2012, 08:55 AM
here's a question?

a friend of mine has owned his own house for 12 years. a couple of years ago he shacks up with a girl and her child, not his.

now she is saying that she owns half his house.


could this be true?

No. She may be entitled to some of the asset, but not much.

rwm1273
03-26-2012, 08:59 AM
Family Law: Marriage Breakdown or

Breakdown of a Common Law Spousal or
Same-Sex Partner Relationship
6. Matrimonial Home

A matrimonial home is defined by the Family Law Act to be “every property in which a person has an interest and that is or, if the spouses have separated, was at the time of the separation ordinarily occupied by the person and his or her spouse as their family residence”. Only married spouses may have a matrimonial home. The significance of having a matrimonial home is that both spouses have an equal right to possession, regardless of ownership. That is, one spouse may legally own the home, but, nevertheless, both spouses will be equally entitled to live in it. If a relationship breaks down, the spouse owning the matrimonial home is not entitled to require the other spouse to leave it. Likewise, one spouse cannot unilaterally change the locks to a matrimonial home. This entitlement to equal possession can be varied only by court order or agreement (not including a marriage contract).

A court order for exclusive possession of a matrimonial home will be granted in only limited circumstances. Typically, some evidence will be required of physical abuse or violence, or behaviour on the part of one of the spouses clearly adverse to the best interests of the children living in the matrimonial home. Significantly, emotional abuse on the part of one of the spouses against the other spouse is usually not sufficient on its own to warrant an order of exclusive possession.

The more subtle implications of having a matrimonial home are that the spouse legally owning the home is not entitled to sell it or to encumber it without the consent of his or her spouse. Usually, the consenting spouse will have to obtain independent legal advice in relation to the nature and implications of granting the requested consent.

It is possible to have more than one matrimonial home. For example, spouses may have a principal residence as well as vacation properties. So long as these homes fall within the definition of “matrimonial home”, all of the homes may be matrimonial homes. Because of the significant restrictions on the owning or leasing spouse of having a matrimonial home, it may be desirable for the spouses to jointly designate which properties are to be treated as a matrimonial home. There is a particular process to be followed in doing so, involving the registration of a document on title to the matrimonial home. Once a home is designated by this method as a matrimonial home, the other homes which would, otherwise, be matrimonial homes lose their character as such, and can be sold or encumbered without the consent of the other spouse.

They were not married, therefore there is no matrimonial home. She moved out, so yes he can change the locks.

As I posted earlier, he needs to get to court to have him declared the resident of the home. If he is scared of her breaking into the home or harming the dog, he can go to the police and file a restraining order, which should include an exclusive possession of the home clause.

Sooner
03-26-2012, 09:05 AM
You can do what I guy I know did, wife was cheating, he found out( no kids thank god). When she was out at work, him and his friends moved the whole house into storage except clothes and daily need stuff. Beds, couches etc, seperated his and hers into their own storage lockers. She came home to find paper plates and sleeping bags on the floor. He told her where her stuff was, even paid for two months rent. Told her she could stay or leave, she left to be with her new friend. You could move your stuff out to protect it, if she wants it, she can tell your lawyer why she thinks it's hers and prove it's hers. Good luck.

greylynx
03-26-2012, 09:12 AM
Lawyer up
Every case has its own intricacies that is why you need a lawyer as soon as possible.
Get a lady lawyer that specailizes in divorce type matters. Lady divorce lawyers have got to be some of meanest people on earth. Make sure you have one on your side. I will bet your ex will have a lady lawyer on her side.

Don't worry about legal fees. Get the best lawyer you can afford. You will end up paying now or later. It is your choice.

Best wishes to you Gitrdun. This is indeed a stressful time in your life.

Oh and store those guns elsewhere. You know what the mounties are like, and I am sure if they look hard enough they would find some silly infraction.

rwm1273
03-26-2012, 09:18 AM
Lawyer up
Every case has its own intricacies that is why you need a lawyer as soon as possible.
Get a lady lawyer that specailizes in divorce type matters. Lady divorce lawyers have got to be some of meanest people on earth. Make sure you have one on your side. I will bet your ex will have a lady lawyer on her side.

Don't worry about legal fees. Get the best lawyer you can afford. You will end up paying now or later. It is your choice.

Best wishes to you Gitrdun. This is indeed a stressful time in your life.

Oh and store those guns elsewhere. You know what the mounties are like, and I am sure if they look hard enough they would find some silly infraction.

I would agree with hire a female lawyer. They know how to deal with females.

I have had a couple family law lawyers. I have spent over $220K fighting my ex wife. We were not rich, were not married long, and did not have much for assets, but we had kids. She caused untold problems trying to get everything she wanted. It did not work her way. He actions eventually were her downfall. Do not get into a fight like this. You will remove years off your life, and waste thousands of dollars in the process. You have no kids, and property and assets can be replaced.

javlin101
03-26-2012, 09:43 AM
I really do just want to get this over as fast as possible! and run!:scared0018:

So............can I change the locks? I think this will open up a whole can of dung

If I take my dog with me, he will be in my truck for 8hrs........

I will be contacting a lawyer tomorrow for sure!!!!!

And staying single for a LONG TIME!

Change the locks, if she moved out she can ot come back or enter the house without your permisson. Get a lawyer NOW and good luck getting it over in a short period of time. Sounds like she is in bitch mode so be very carful. I am speaking from experince, 1 year & have got no where other than lining the lawyers pockets.

jryley
03-26-2012, 10:40 AM
Ive been through the exact same scenario. Only i was the person that moved out. I do know that legally you cant schedule realtor showings without both parties consent. Furthermore if she puts a stop pay on her half of the mortgage i beleive shes forfeiting her right to the ownership....but itll be like pulling teeth getting the court to rule that way. I would tell her fine, youre going to stop paying as well so we will both lose the home. Women seem to think they make the rules when property plays into a breakup. Id play just as tough as she does...be be prepared for a long legal fight. Counter sue after counter sue will delay it

Dakota369
03-26-2012, 10:41 AM
legally you cant change the locks , till her name is off title !!

sure ya can................. just take your time getting her the new set of keys!!!

:scared0018:

takkotime
03-26-2012, 11:51 AM
Ive been through the exact same scenario. Only i was the person that moved out. I do know that legally you cant schedule realtor showings without both parties consent. Furthermore if she puts a stop pay on her half of the mortgage i beleive shes forfeiting her right to the ownership....but itll be like pulling teeth getting the court to rule that way. I would tell her fine, youre going to stop paying as well so we will both lose the home. Women seem to think they make the rules when property plays into a breakup. Id play just as tough as she does...be be prepared for a long legal fight. Counter sue after counter sue will delay it

Oh you can most certainly schedule showings without consent of both parties; although in this case the Realtor with an understanding of the situation should be covering his or her butt by making sure both know.
You just cannot list a property for sale in Alberta without having everyone on title signing all pertaining paperwork.. listing contract, amendments, offers, etc. Unless this has been changed by the courts which in your case it hasn't been (I believe.)
Whoever said she can 'sell her share' without your consent; that cannot happen without court intervention. Nothing stopping her from getting a second mortgage on it though (albeit I know nothing of potential equity, etc. or if there is any at all) - be careful and seek legal advice.
In my experience some of the advice in this post from a couple of people is spot on but the majority of posters are leading you down the wrong road.

-Will

omega50
03-26-2012, 12:12 PM
Time for you to listen to some classic tunes like:

It's Cheaper to keep her!!

horsetrader
03-26-2012, 01:24 PM
They were not married, therefore there is no matrimonial home. She moved out, so yes he can change the locks.

As I posted earlier, he needs to get to court to have him declared the resident of the home. If he is scared of her breaking into the home or harming the dog, he can go to the police and file a restraining order, which should include an exclusive possession of the home clause.

Thats right you are the one that spend 2200.00 to lawyers so you know it all
except where to find a GOOD lawyer so I won't comment again have a good life.

diamond k
03-26-2012, 02:00 PM
All my firearms will be out tomorrow, a good friend is letting me store them in his safe.

Is there any suggestions on "Good" Lawyers out there. I have found one with 29 years experience that seems good.

You dont need a good one you need a mean one. Still happily married. Thank God

dadof5
03-26-2012, 02:53 PM
And the bad advise continues...

1) You cannot legally lock her out of a residence in which she is a Joint Tenant. If you do so, you may find a judge breathing down your neck as a result. It has been done plenty of times, often without consequence, but it could bite you in the butt.

2) She cannot sell her share of the home unless you are on title as Tenants in Common. This would create an actual share, that could be valued. Joint Tenants both have equal rights to the entire home, not an actual share.

3) Property owned by either party prior to the relationship is generally protected. Property purchased during the relationship may be divisible, in some portions. There is no certain right to a 50/50 split, though this is often done for simpleness sake.

4) Moving the firearms may or may not be of any assistance. If she were to get an Emergency Protection Order (whether or not it was truly warranted), the RCMP could come looking for the firearms. If you don't turn them over, regardless of where they are stored, you may find yourself locked up for breaching the Order until they are turned in. In the words of one of my clients who experienced this, "Jail Sucks".

5) She cannot list the house for sale without your consent.

6) You can obtain a Preservation Order from the Court if you are concerned that she is selling or disposing of assets without your knowledge or consent. Otherwise, you can bring an application to have the Court divide the property, which is an expensive way to deal with TV's and silverware.

7) She gives up no basic rights to property by not paying her share of the mortgage. However this may be calculated into a final division of the equity.

8) You do not automatically owe Occupational Rent for staying in the house as one poster has stated. In fact, Occupational Rent claims generally fail, except when brought in defence to a claim for spousal support or other similar claims. Occ. rent is a shield to a claim rather than a sword to do battle with.

9) You can seek an Order for Exclusive Possession, which will then leave you responsible for the costs of the home as you are the primary party benefiting from it. If there are compelling reasons that convince the court that you require Exc. Poss. then you may be successful. This would restrict her access to the property and protect your assets.

10) Call a lawyer

11) Call a lawyer

12) Call a lawyer...

The above is general information only. In light of the advice that you have been receiving from those in the apparent know cuz their cousin got divorced last year, you really better contact a lawyer and get advise for YOUR situation. CALL A LAWYER!

thirty-30
03-26-2012, 02:58 PM
Listen to dadof5.

I point out he IS a lawyer.

You should consider calling him.

gitrdone
03-27-2012, 06:35 PM
And the bad advise continues...

1) You cannot legally lock her out of a residence in which she is a Joint Tenant. If you do so, you may find a judge breathing down your neck as a result. It has been done plenty of times, often without consequence, but it could bite you in the butt.

2) She cannot sell her share of the home unless you are on title as Tenants in Common. This would create an actual share, that could be valued. Joint Tenants both have equal rights to the entire home, not an actual share.

3) Property owned by either party prior to the relationship is generally protected. Property purchased during the relationship may be divisible, in some portions. There is no certain right to a 50/50 split, though this is often done for simpleness sake.

4) Moving the firearms may or may not be of any assistance. If she were to get an Emergency Protection Order (whether or not it was truly warranted), the RCMP could come looking for the firearms. If you don't turn them over, regardless of where they are stored, you may find yourself locked up for breaching the Order until they are turned in. In the words of one of my clients who experienced this, "Jail Sucks".

5) She cannot list the house for sale without your consent.

6) You can obtain a Preservation Order from the Court if you are concerned that she is selling or disposing of assets without your knowledge or consent. Otherwise, you can bring an application to have the Court divide the property, which is an expensive way to deal with TV's and silverware.

7) She gives up no basic rights to property by not paying her share of the mortgage. However this may be calculated into a final division of the equity.

8) You do not automatically owe Occupational Rent for staying in the house as one poster has stated. In fact, Occupational Rent claims generally fail, except when brought in defence to a claim for spousal support or other similar claims. Occ. rent is a shield to a claim rather than a sword to do battle with.

9) You can seek an Order for Exclusive Possession, which will then leave you responsible for the costs of the home as you are the primary party benefiting from it. If there are compelling reasons that convince the court that you require Exc. Poss. then you may be successful. This would restrict her access to the property and protect your assets.

10) Call a lawyer

11) Call a lawyer

12) Call a lawyer...

The above is general information only. In light of the advice that you have been receiving from those in the apparent know cuz their cousin got divorced last year, you really better contact a lawyer and get advise for YOUR situation. CALL A LAWYER!

Thank you for your advice! It's very much appreciated!

I spoke with the local RCMP and explained my situation. The Cst. said that because she is no longer living at the house and I am, I Could change the locks. I don't want to but I'm afraid that she may come here and say things happened that didn't.

She isn't trying to sell her share of the house, we are just trying to agree on a realtor and all that fun stuff (it's proving difficult as we aren't on the best talking terms)

Re: the firearms, should I go to the RCMP and ask if they could "Hold" them for me while this comes to a conclusion? I Don't want to do this but it might be the safest way......I REALLY don't want her to say I have done something I haven't!

Re: Division of equity and equal mortgage payments........We have NO equity :sign0161: we have only been in the house for one year and we will be losing our shirts on this one, thats why I'm so concerned about her at least paying her half the mortgage as I would really hate to lose that much more$$

I do hate to say it, but Lawyer fees are a little(Lot) bit out of my price range right now:scared:

Once again, THANK you everyone for the advice! it sure is a nightmare that I can't wait to wake up from.

mudbug
03-27-2012, 07:48 PM
Without a lawyer you could lose more than you think. Call a lawyer and ask how much a consult is and go from there. It could be a lot cheaper than what may happen if you don't call.
For the firearms question call the NFA.

insurgus
03-27-2012, 08:02 PM
Sorry to hear about this happening to you mate. I wish you the best in a quick and painless resolution.

bigd
03-27-2012, 08:18 PM
Thank you for your advice! It's very much appreciated!

I spoke with the local RCMP and explained my situation. The Cst. said that because she is no longer living at the house and I am, I Could change the locks. I don't want to but I'm afraid that she may come here and say things happened that didn't.

She isn't trying to sell her share of the house, we are just trying to agree on a realtor and all that fun stuff (it's proving difficult as we aren't on the best talking terms)

Re: the firearms, should I go to the RCMP and ask if they could "Hold" them for me while this comes to a conclusion? I Don't want to do this but it might be the safest way......I REALLY don't want her to say I have done something I haven't!

Re: Division of equity and equal mortgage payments........We have NO equity :sign0161: we have only been in the house for one year and we will be losing our shirts on this one, thats why I'm so concerned about her at least paying her half the mortgage as I would really hate to lose that much more$$

I do hate to say it, but Lawyer fees are a little(Lot) bit out of my price range right now:scared:

Once again, THANK you everyone for the advice! it sure is a nightmare that I can't wait to wake up from.

Don't take legal advice from an RCMP (or any other) constable. Stop talking nonsense and hire a lawyer. My total fees from separation through finalizing my divorce were less than $4000.00. I had a very aggressive young female lawyer from Edmonton and she did a bang up job looking after my best interests. My ex and I were able to sort most things out ourselves including division of property and most issues regarding financial assets and those relating to our 3 children. This saved me a TONNE of cash in the long run.

Good luck.

dadof5
03-27-2012, 08:28 PM
I spoke with the local RCMP and explained my situation. The Cst. said that because she is no longer living at the house and I am, I Could change the locks.

You COULD, yes, but not legally. As a joint owner she has every right to the house as you do until there is a court Order to the contrary. If a physical altercation broke out between the two of you, then the RCMP would likely remove one of you and put you under a no contact Order which would restrict access to the property. That is equivalent to a court order, unless the Court of Queen's Bench made an alternate order.


Re: the firearms, should I go to the RCMP and ask if they could "Hold" them for me while this comes to a conclusion? I Don't want to do this but it might be the safest way......I REALLY don't want her to say I have done something I haven't!

There is no good answer to this. They likely won't agree to "Hold" them as they are not a storage facility but you could make the call. If they take them according to a court Order such as an EPO, then you will need another court order to get them back. It is a difficult situation.

Re: Division of equity and equal mortgage payments........We have NO equity :sign0161: we have only been in the house for one year and we will be losing our shirts on this one, thats why I'm so concerned about her at least paying her half the mortgage as I would really hate to lose that much more$$

Then bring an application for her to contribute her share. But if you change the locks without a Court Order you can be fairly confident no Court is going to make such an Order. By doing so you effectively claim Exclusive Possession. This is great to keep her out, but it comes with a cost, you pay for the bills while you are there. Get the house listed, apply for an Order to list with a specific realtor if necessary.

Good Luck.

300savage
03-27-2012, 08:40 PM
I am kindof in the same boat. GET YOUR FIREARMS OUT OF THE EQUATION!. Transfer them to a friend now, before she claims "she fears for her safety". When that happens things turn real crappy at the speed of light. I am living it now. Be glad you don't have kids with the woman!

mudbug
03-29-2012, 03:23 PM
Don't take legal advice from an RCMP (or any other) constable. Stop talking nonsense and hire a lawyer. My total fees from separation through finalizing my divorce were less than $4000.00. I had a very aggressive young female lawyer from Edmonton and she did a bang up job looking after my best interests. My ex and I were able to sort most things out ourselves including division of property and most issues regarding financial assets and those relating to our 3 children. This saved me a TONNE of cash in the long run.

Good luck.

Send him a pm with your lawyers name :thinking-006:

rwm1273
03-29-2012, 04:11 PM
Thats right you are the one that spend 2200.00 to lawyers so you know it all
except where to find a GOOD lawyer so I won't comment again have a good life.

You got the period in the wrong place. Actually I have a very good lawyer, and in fact both my family law lawyers are very good. I have custody of my kids, and as a man with a very difficult ex wife, that is rare. In fact in Alberta over 95% of women get custody of the kids.

Perhaps you may want to get a bit of information before you speak from your rectum. Your comments smell brown, and belong in the toilet.

rwm1273
03-29-2012, 04:18 PM
Don't take legal advice from an RCMP (or any other) constable. Stop talking nonsense and hire a lawyer. My total fees from separation through finalizing my divorce were less than $4000.00. I had a very aggressive young female lawyer from Edmonton and she did a bang up job looking after my best interests. My ex and I were able to sort most things out ourselves including division of property and most issues regarding financial assets and those relating to our 3 children. This saved me a TONNE of cash in the long run.

Good luck.

Big point of your situation is you and your ex worked out the issues. If she refused, and wanted to cause problems, you would still be fighting in court, waiting for a judge to bring a resolution to your situation, all the while having legal fees mount.

I know first hand. When it comes to lawyers, often you get what you pay for. The rest is just a crap shoot, and up to the whimsical position of the judge. There are no hard and fast rules in family court, other than it is expensive, and the only winners are the lawyers.

I also know that not all lawyers are good. Just because you are a lawyer, does not mean you know the law, or know how to deal with legal issues in court. I have seen many lawyers who could not argue their way out of a paper bag, and I have seen many lawyers who think men should just capitulate to what ever terms their ex claims.

(No offense dadof5)

Jorg
03-29-2012, 04:51 PM
You have no children and no equity in the property you are living in. I would suggest moving out as fast as you can. Take only what you need and offer everything else to her. If she accepts you will save a pile of cash that the lawyers will cost. If she doesn't bite on your offer at least you will be out of the house and it will be easier to sell and you won't be fighting about locks,dogs and other minor stuff. If it is possible, just use a lawyer to dot the i's and cross the t's.

sunnyvalesmostwanted
03-29-2012, 11:16 PM
gitr...i wish you all the best in this tough battle.

Im going thru the same thing right now.....seperated last fall and while my ex isnt nearly as 'crazy/potentially dangerous' as yours sounds.....I am in a bad situation where we have 3 kids together, were married for 12 years and she refuses to work with me to come to an agreement on what my monthly support payments to her will be.

I told her a number that i thought was fair from all the research i did and she scoffed ad it and said she will see me in court to let the judge decide. She jumped right back into school (college) soon after we started talking about financial obligations (going forward - support) and got legal aid so while she will have very cheap lawyer fees i will have to pay 350/hr for a good family law lawyer and it will end up costing me a fortune.

I know how much child support i will be paying because there is standard tables that are used to calculate that. But when it comes to spousal support.....thats a whole different issue. Theres no guidelines for that and its basically a judges decision.

Asset division wont be a problem as we have little or no equity in the house...just contents which i am happy to let her have most of the stuff. Im just worried about the time it will take to go thru lawyers to settle this and the time it will take. I just want it over as soon as possible.

:angry3:

Fisherpeak
03-30-2012, 06:22 AM
All I can say is strike first and be ruthless.I dicked around hoping nothing bad would happen and my ex screwed me to the wall.She got the kids and everything we owned including the new car,which I still had to pay for.B1tch even gave my dog away(got him back)She tried to sell my rifles and her cop boyfriend told her she was not allowed.

Stash your guns,get a pitbull Lawyer,preferably female and strike first and strike hard.Shock and awe.Whatever it costs won`t be as much as what the alternative could cost.
This especially goes out to you SunnyVale.I can`t stress this enough,overwhelm the enemy.

u_cant_rope_the_wind
03-30-2012, 07:32 AM
Situation:

Realationship, over
Bought house together 50/50
Bought stuff for in house 50/50 (TV, recievers etc..)
She has moved out
We are selling the house
She shows up at the house at all hours, without a heads-up call
She is setting up realtor meetings at the house without informing me

Now I found out via a friend she is selling stuff online that we bought together, she has not informed me that she is doing this.

she is also saying that she will be stopping her half of the mortgage payments.

She doesn't like my dog........and I am worried for his safety.

Any help would be greatly appreciated

thats the screwing ya get for the screwing ya got