Gossip, Poaching & Women

[thirty-30]

Okay, so a mild vent here to people who would actually understand.

My 'ol lady's best friend has a roommate (we live in a remote community, they are all teachers) who is a 50 year old animal lover. You know the kind, has rescued 25 rez dogs so far, etc. Which is fine, I don't criticize how someone else lives their life.

We will say her name is Sue, my 'Ol Lady's Best Friend's name is Helen, and my name is Mick.

Sue told Helen, in regards to hearing about my bear bait barrel: "What Mick does is just like poaching." Helen told my 'Ol Lady.

I went and had a very nice, polite talk with Sue saying that no, I am not in fact poaching, this is how bears are hunted as per the regulations. I explained that the word 'poacher' shouldn't be bandied about so lightly, because it's really offensive to anyone who does hunt and has a lot of legal and ethical connotations.

I did the polite talk with Helen in front of Sue and my 'Ol Lady.

Now my 'Ol Lady is furious at me because I have started 'girl drama' and nobody will apparently tell anyone anything again, and bla bla bla. I think it's just people being dramatic, but I want to see what you all think.

Did I violate some unwritten gossip code, or was I absolutely in my rights to have a talk with her about this?

I do not want it to turn into: "Sue said what Mick does is just like Poaching."

And then from the telephone game, it morph via someone else into: "Mick is poaching."

That's all I need.

[recce43]

don't even try to figure out Girl drama you said what you thought is right . leave it at that or you will hurt your brain

[BANG]

Sounds like you where well within your rights to attempt to educate this ignorant "teacher".
Drama generaly only finds those who crave it and its seems to be about 90% of the female population.
Good luck

[catnthehat]

don't even try to figure out Girl drama you said what you thought is right . leave it at that or you will hurt your brain

What he said!!
Cat

[roper1]

There is only one thing to take her mind off the misery of it all

[recce43]

There is only one thing to take her mind off the misery of it all

Shopping

[Red Bullets]

Married man code: What is done in the bush should stay in the bush.

[st99]

Sounds like you where well within your rights to attempt to educate this ignorant "teacher".
Drama generaly only finds those who crave it and its seems to be about 90% of the female population.
Good luck

X2

[nekred]

Best reply is....

If that was the case then sleeping with your husband is just like adultery....

[Okotokian]

If my wife told me something like that I think I'd discuss my plan to confront the other person with her before I did it. You could have had more appreciation of the position it put her in with her friends. Husbands and wives tell each other all kinds of secrets and don't expect the other to go out and expose them. Really any skin off your nose if some old lady doesn't think highly of what you do?

If you REALLY felt the need to straighten things out, your wife could have carried the message and educated the woman.

[fish gunner]

Blurry line imo . Baiting is poaching in many areas , a non out doors person would not read site specific regs. Sharing a confidential comment made by your missus to you may be a fax pas. Relax get them a girl gift set and they will forget soon enough. Good luck with that.

[boner54]

You should ask the teacher if any of her rez dogs are available for bait. That should get her mind off the poaching thing at least and open a whole new discussion

[moosehunter3-0]

Ain't nobody got time NOBODY. lol.

[chinchaga]

Never had much luck with teachers on any level. Ever.

[Okotokian]

You should ask the teacher if any of her rez dogs are available for bait. That should get her mind off the poaching thing at least and open a whole new discussion

The ignorance of the woman isn't the issue. It's that three women all feel that what they said in confidence wasn't kept in confidence. Both the wife and her friend got outted as untrustworthy blabbers and are mad. LOL

[Carson12]

The ignorance of the woman isn't the issue. It's that three women all feel that what they said in confidence wasn't kept in confidence. Both the wife and her friend got outted as untrustworthy blabbers and are mad. LOL

Was with you up to here, but ...

First, was it said in confidence? ie: Don't tell Mick, but I think what he's doing is illegally poaching..

Also, it wasn't a superfluous comment on, say Micks lack of hygiene (no offense thrity-30), it was a statement of illegal/unethical behavior. What if she said (even in confidence): I think the way Mick disciplines his kids is a form of child abuse?

I think at some point the content of the statement will override the assumption of confidentiality.

[Winch101]

I thought boy o boy Kens got another trip going , I'm not missing
Out on this one .....but sadly no .

I live and work in a senior environment , old men would put any
Woman to shame in the gossip dept.

Face to face , with your wife would have been best .

Last year at Frank Lake ,I eavesdropped on a few woman going on
About hunters in the bird sanctuary . This one babe had murder in her eye ,
Guess what ,she was in my kitchen yesterday , works with my wife and they were off bird watching at Frank . So when she asked what the Griffon was
I turtled , why hes a curly coat sheep dog . Apparently a long discourse
On bird poachers was given , my wife the Queen of Discression did not mention her husband ,a natural born killer .

[Redfrog]

Blurry line imo . Baiting is poaching in many areas , a non out doors person would not read site specific regs. Sharing a confidential comment made by your missus to you may be a fax pas. Relax get them a girl gift set and they will forget soon enough. Good luck with that.

Excellent advice!!!:) If you are not a marriage counsellor, then you ought to look into becomong one.


Who cares what women think anyway??? :snapoutofit:

[thirty-30]

This is how I feel. I don't care if she called me stupid or said my arse smells like a thousand camels, the gravity of the statement is what forced me to bring it up.

My 'ol lady is also a teacher, and I said 'How would you feel if someone said... Well, what the mick's 'ol lady does with her students is just like hitting kids?'

Unfortunately, I don't think she understood, because she isn't clicking into how serious I feel the word poacher is.


Was with you up to here, but ...

First, was it said in confidence? ie: Don't tell Mick, but I think what he's doing is illegally poaching..

Also, it wasn't a superfluous comment on, say Micks lack of hygiene (no offense thrity-30), it was a statement of illegal/unethical behavior. What if she said (even in confidence): I think the way Mick disciplines his kids is a form of child abuse?

I think at some point the content of the statement will override the assumption of confidentiality.

[xbolt5]

If I were you I'd be totally offended too- it can make my skin crawl hearing people just spit out ignorance when they have no idea what they are talking about or who they are talking too. Most of the time I just ignore it, but like you said, if one ignorant person tells another something, by the end of it you'd probably be a lot worse than just poaching bears over bait....

But, that being said I've learned that there is little use trying to set someone straight as it is rare that they listen, and there are usually just as annoying/ignorant consequences as the original issue itself.

Best of luck man...

[huntinstuff]

Leave it.

My son shot a bear when he was 7. Teacher told him, in front of the class, that it was illegal and his dad (me) should go to jail.

Next day, I was in charge of "show and tell" in that classroom.... And the teacher nearly got a copy of the hunting regs stapled to her forehead.

Kids loved it

[58thecat]

Na just pour a cold beer, sit back and tune out the bla,bla,bla....Never ever attempt to figure out a woman!

[58thecat]

Married man code: What is done in the bush should stay in the bush.

That's what got us in trouble in the first place:scared:

[sns2]

First clue: 50 and single. Enough said. Not a happy lady to begin with.

I teach with a woman who is a vegetarian and animal lover that is all into the rescue dog stuff etc... Some kids were telling me that she was against my hunting. I thought I would be proactive in winning her over, so I sent a student up to her class with the foreleg of a whitetail I had frozen in the back of my truck. Told the kid to tell her it was an organic treat for her dogs.

It opened the door for chats on how and why I hunt, as well as the cruelty of animals' deaths in the wild.

She loves me now.

You'd probably be better off in setting her up with one of your buddies.

[dale7637]

Never try to understand women.

Women understand other women, and they hate each other.

[fish gunner]

Excellent advice!!!:) If you are not a marriage counsellor, then you ought to look into becomong one.


Who cares what women think anyway??? :snapoutofit:

Bit early for drinky poo's RF ^^^OH LOOK gramatical error.
Ya who cares what 50% of the planet thinks :bad_boys_20:
Enough with the derail Thanks sièg frögböbeführur.
The teacher lady is an animal lover .. no fault. Not knowing hunting regs for an area.. no fault telling micks wife her opinion ..no fault. Engaging teacher lady with wives" she said" fax pas. Now man up and buy shiny gifts ,presto no problemo.

[mad mountain mike]

The ignorance of the woman isn't the issue. It's that three women all feel that what they said in confidence wasn't kept in confidence. Both the wife and her friend got outted as untrustworthy blabbers and are mad. LOL

Is it possible that a male has actually figured out the female mind? This line of thought needs to be researched further.

[357xp]

Leave it.

My son shot a bear when he was 7. Teacher told him, in front of the class, that it was illegal and his dad (me) should go to jail.

Next day, I was in charge of "show and tell" in that classroom.... And the teacher nearly got a copy of the hunting regs stapled to her forehead.

Kids loved it

:happy0034::sHa_shakeshout:

[Tactical Lever]

Bit early for drinky poo's RF ^^^OH LOOK gramatical error.
Ya who cares what 50% of the planet thinks :bad_boys_20:
Enough with the derail Thanks sièg frögböbeführur.
The teacher lady is an animal lover .. no fault. Not knowing hunting regs for an area.. no fault telling micks wife her opinion ..no fault. Engaging teacher lady with wives" she said" fax pas. Now man up and buy shiny gifts ,presto no problemo.

I don't see the need myself to buy gifts because of someone else's ignorance. She should be the one kissing butt.

Its just reinforcing her negative behaviour with a reward and in a roundabout way nearly admitting guilt for a wrong that was never committed.

I would be tempted to spin it, and give her a big hug in public and tell her how much I was hurt by her insensitive comments (and perhaps some friends tried to push you into a libel suit), but you forgive her. In addition even offer to take her bear hunting to show her that its a little tougher than the anti hunting media makes it sound.

Tell your wife that you were disappointed by here non-response to the issue, and that it would have been better had you not been forced to get involved! She should have been sensitive (use that word!) enough to realize the stigma and possible legal repercussions of those kinds of statements tossed around, too lightly.

It helps if you can conjure some tears. (Think of Old Yeller, or just rub some salt or alcohol into the corners of your eyes) :)

2 or 3 can play that game.

[Tactical Lever]

I'm also not sure that your wife should worry about not being told anything, its doubtful that they can hold anything in!

[3blade]

Married man code: What is done in the bush should stay in the bush.

This. "Bear hunting" "deer hunting" "moose hunting" etc is good enough. Overshare is a terrible idea with women. Do you know how many "secret spots" I've been told about?? An acquaintance almost got herself dumped over this. They just don't get it.

I don't see the need myself to buy gifts because of someone else's ignorance. She should be the one kissing butt.

Its just reinforcing her negative behaviour with a reward and in a roundabout way nearly admitting guilt for a wrong that was never committed.

I would be tempted to spin it, and give her a big hug in public and tell her how much I was hurt by her insensitive comments (and perhaps some friends tried to push you into a libel suit), but you forgive her. In addition even offer to take her bear hunting to show her that its a little tougher than the anti hunting media makes it sound.

Tell your wife that you were disappointed by here non-response to the issue, and that it would have been better had you not been forced to get involved! She should have been sensitive (use that word!) enough to realize the stigma and possible legal repercussions of those kinds of statements tossed around, too lightly.

It helps if you can conjure some tears. (Think of Old Yeller, or just rub some salt or alcohol into the corners of your eyes) :)

2 or 3 can play that game.

Exactly. Much better than aggression.

What this woman did was way beyond acceptable. 30 you handled it much better than many would. Go forth and wear the pants, you earned em.

[greylynx]

First clue: 50 and single. Enough said. Not a happy lady to begin with.

I teach with a woman who is a vegetarian and animal lover that is all into the rescue dog stuff etc... Some kids were telling me that she was against my hunting. I thought I would be proactive in winning her over, so I sent a student up to her class with the foreleg of a whitetail I had frozen in the back of my truck. Told the kid to tell her it was an organic treat for her dogs.

It opened the door for chats on how and why I hunt, as well as the cruelty of animals' deaths in the wild.

She loves me now.

You'd probably be better off in setting her up with one of your buddies.


What do you figure SNS?

Does she need to meet a nice warm kitty like grey lynx?:)

[fish gunner]

I don't see the need myself to buy gifts because of someone else's ignorance. She should be the one kissing butt.

Its just reinforcing her negative behaviour with a reward and in a roundabout way nearly admitting guilt for a wrong that was never committed.

I would be tempted to spin it, and give her a big hug in public and tell her how much I was hurt by her insensitive comments (and perhaps some friends tried to push you into a libel suit), but you forgive her. In addition even offer to take her bear hunting to show her that its a little tougher than the anti hunting media makes it sound.

Tell your wife that you were disappointed by here non-response to the issue, and that it would have been better had you not been forced to get involved! She should have been sensitive (use that word!) enough to realize the stigma and possible legal repercussions of those kinds of statements tossed around, too lightly.

It helps if you can conjure some tears. (Think of Old Yeller, or just rub some salt or alcohol into the corners of your eyes) :)

2 or 3 can play that game.Baiting is the anomaly ie not legal in most areas so that can hardly be called ignorance . Most drivers in AB can read but 110kph seems to evade them . That is ignorance. The lady made comment to micks wife on a hunting practice that is end of the issue if mick stays out of it. If mick's wife corrects teacher lady then no foul . Mick aproching teacher lady gives us the situation we see now. Proof is in the pudding mick stays out if it, no one cares. Whats hard to figure out .

[3blade]

Baiting is the anomaly ie not legal in most areas so that can hardly be called ignorance . Most drivers in AB can read but 110kph seems to evade them . That is ignorance. The lady made comment to micks wife on a hunting practice that is end of the issue if mick stays out of it. If mick's wife corrects teacher lady then no foul . Mick aproching teacher lady gives us the situation we see now. Proof is in the pudding mick stays out if it, no one cares. Whats hard to figure out .

If we were talking about a minor complaint, that approach may be valid, or not, depending on how one wishes to interact with the people involved.

This woman falsely accused him of criminal activity, which is unacceptable. Further, she falsely accused him of a wildlife crime, which carries a stigma no hunter should tolerate. This is an example of a situation in which truth and honor must be defended, regardless of hurt feelings or "girl drama".

Again (just like the last talk we had) there are those who submit, and those who do not.

[Tactical Lever]

Baiting is the anomaly ie not legal in most areas so that can hardly be called ignorance . Most drivers in AB can read but 110kph seems to evade them . That is ignorance. The lady made comment to micks wife on a hunting practice that is end of the issue if mick stays out of it. If mick's wife corrects teacher lady then no foul . Mick aproching teacher lady gives us the situation we see now. Proof is in the pudding mick stays out if it, no one cares. Whats hard to figure out .

The choice of words used ie: "is like poaching" tells me that she knew that Mick was operating in the confines of the law.

And if she did not know, she should have found out the regs before commenting.

She is either ignorant of the regs (which it did not sound like), or ignorant in her comments.

Ignorant either way, and I understand why Mick set her straight. Although she probably still has misconceptions.

[fish gunner]

Im all for oor mick putting the lady strait on hunting regs. In the correct context for example in his wifes company, where the original misinformed comment could be revisited. I dont belive the ladies are up set with the correction . I belive the manner of information passage is the issue. Hence the fux pas. What was said is not the problem the delivery imo is. :)

[Okotokian]

This whole thread illustrate the difference between men and women.

Men: Something is wrong... fix it. Someone complains... suggest a solution, there's a problem... confront and deal with it. It's the facts that matter, not the process of addressing them. There's a nail... I got a hammer. Have a fight... get over it.

Women: Relationships matter, trust matters. I didn't expect you to tell that person! "Whether she is right or wrong isn't the point". You wronged me. I want to tell you something... but I don't expect you to do anything about it.

[3blade]

...
I went and had a very nice, polite talk with Sue saying that no, I am not in fact poaching, this is how bears are hunted as per the regulations. I explained that the word 'poacher' shouldn't be bandied about so lightly, because it's really offensive to anyone who does hunt and has a lot of legal and ethical connotations.

I did the polite talk with Helen in front of Sue and my 'Ol Lady.

Now my 'Ol Lady is furious at me because I have started 'girl drama' and nobody will apparently tell anyone anything again, and bla bla bla. I think it's just people being dramatic, but I want to see what you all think.
.

Im all for oor mick putting the lady strait on hunting regs. In the correct context for example in his wifes company, where the original misinformed comment could be revisited. I dont belive the ladies are up set with the correction . I belive the manner of information passage is the issue. Hence the fux pas. What was said is not the problem the delivery imo is. :)

Fishy G, did ya miss this part?

Seems pretty clear he did exactly what you suggested

[fish gunner]

Did ya miss this part?

Seems pretty clear he did exactly what you suggested

He brought it up thats the issue in a nut shell .in the ladies world thats the problem . See oki's post.
Hunting part is in all purposes a non starter.

[thirty-30]

This whole thread illustrate the difference between men and women.

Men: Something is wrong... fix it. Someone complains... suggest a solution, there's a problem... confront and deal with it. It's the facts that matter, not the process of addressing them. There's a nail... I got a hammer. Have a fight... get over it.

Women: Relationships matter, trust matters. I didn't expect you to tell that person! "Whether she is right or wrong isn't the point". You wronged me. I want to tell you something... but I don't expect you to do anything about it.

Wow, that is spooky spot on.

[3blade]

He brought it up thats the issue in a nut shell .in the ladies world thats the problem . See oki's post.
Hunting part is in all purposes a non starter.

that's kinda changing your tune, and while what oki said is absolutely correct, this went over the line. See my earlier post. Disagree with hunting, fine, everyone can have their opinion. Call me a poacher, or like a poacher, I'd be inclined to take the "almost" out of huntinstuff's response. 30 handled it well and the girls will just have to smarten up and act like adults.

[fish gunner]

that's kinda changing your tune, and while what oki said is absolutely correct, this went over the line. See my earlier post. Disagree with hunting, fine, everyone can have their opinion. Call me a poacher, or like a poacher, I'd be inclined to take the "almost" out of huntinstuff's response. 30 handled it well and the girls will just have to smarten up and act like adults.

I see taking offence to the "poaching" comment and I get standing up for your self. The how is imo the why of the ladies brewha .

[3blade]

I see taking offence to the "poaching" comment and I get standing up for your self. The how is imo the why of the ladies brewha .

I get what your saying. One must act with respect and honor while defending such concepts. And by 30's description, he did.

Ever see "how" or "why" matter when telling a woman she's wrong?

[BlackHeart]

In a small community reputation is important and uneducated gossip very damaging. Nailing down malicious gossips through the chain of whispers is hard to do....you got lucky the chain was short and you addressed it before she started another chain.

Had a situation where I took over a mess, fired one lazy idiot, and his freind (a women) problem number 2 realized her time was soon to be up. So she started working the gossip mill. Any and all sorts of lies/defamations/stories started popping up. Now I found the source, but to document it (union worker) or put people in the gossip chain in an uncomfortable position was not a good option.

But I found a solution....one that made everyone shun the gossip creator and have no part of her attacks.

Spread the word back up the gossip chain.....and that word is "SLANDER"....and talk about "Defamation of character" and your lawyer brother in-law.

Its obvious your chat bounced like a dead cat and now your under fire for defending your name /reputation regardless of how you found out it was being besmirched. She has obviously just changed tack and still wants to damage you.....otherwise the issue would have died.

Say the word around your wife's freind once and no one will want the issue brought up again. And this gossip will be much more careful will calling someone a poacher....or like a poacher. Change the word poacher to pedophile/thief/wife beater/drug dealer/etc and then think of what your reaction would be. Being called a (or like a)criminal, when your not, is highly inappropriate.

And pacifying idiots with gifts is the wrong message.....you might even have that turned against you ......"Oh!!!! And he came by with flowers and chocolates...what does be think...I can be bought...or I'm interested in him.....my god, he's a married man....wait till I tell....."

[winmag]

Some people just do not get it about hunting and in my experience women for the most part are the troublesome ones best get it out in the open and sort it out , it will blow over whether it was confidential or not. When i get cornered especially about Bambi hunting i just say i only shoot STUPID deer because with a awesome smell , excellent hearing and eye sight the SMART deer never get shot , then i look them in the eye and say you should be happy that you are not a deer and i walk away ... end of lesson :)

[Outcast 1100]

the only thing wrong that you did was not informing your wife first that you were going to chat with the other lady about the baiting comment. now one lady lost trust in the other and cant tell her anything anymore, so fragile...

then again I am might be wrong.LOL:bad_boys_20:

[marxman]

i think your wife is totally right. you are being too arrogant.you dont have to apologize just acknowledge she was right. who cares what the old bird says i mean really

[Red Bullets]

Should be water off your back. As long as you aren't poaching why even worry or concern yourself about gossip about just like poaching.? People that know you won't be effected by morphing gossip. Before you know it "Mick" will have morphed to "Nick". And 'poaching bears' will have become 'coaching peers'.

Alot of people have the opinion that baiting bears is is "just like" poaching. Lots of other bait hunters suffer this label too. It really doesn't imply they are poachers.

I'd be more worried about "Sue" influencing kids negatively in class. She could be a bully.

You could have let your wife sort it out with "Sue" and "Helen". Should have had your wife defend her man. :fighting0074:

Then there would be gossip worthy of the local public forums.


Besides...
I heard "Sue" has to shave her sideburns twice a week and she picks her nose as her protein source. :sHa_sarcasticlol:
And "Helen" has halitosis and stinkfoot. :sHa_sarcasticlol:
(just in fun)

Luckily, gossip is so fast you are probably old news by now.

Don't let gossip get to you. Rise above it "just like" a hunter does sitting above a bear bait.

[H380]

First clue: 50 and single. Enough said. Not a happy lady to begin with.

I teach with a woman who is a vegetarian and animal lover that is all into the rescue dog stuff etc... Some kids were telling me that she was against my hunting. I thought I would be proactive in winning her over, so I sent a student up to her class with the foreleg of a whitetail I had frozen in the back of my truck. Told the kid to tell her it was an organic treat for her dogs.

It opened the door for chats on how and why I hunt, as well as the cruelty of animals' deaths in the wild.

She loves me now.

You'd probably be better off in setting her up with one of your buddies.

Why punish one of your buddies ?:sHa_sarcasticlol: got your back thirty 30 , I'd have done the same thing ..

[sns2]

What do you figure SNS?

Does she need to meet a nice warm kitty like grey lynx?:)

Absolutely! PM the OP and ask for a pic:)

[avb3]

This whole thread illustrate the difference between men and women.

Men: Something is wrong... fix it. Someone complains... suggest a solution, there's a problem... confront and deal with it. It's the facts that matter, not the process of addressing them. There's a nail... I got a hammer. Have a fight... get over it.

Women: Relationships matter, trust matters. I didn't expect you to tell that person! "Whether she is right or wrong isn't the point". You wronged me. I want to tell you something... but I don't expect you to do anything about it.

You've been married for a long time.

Good on ya! :)

[gatorhunter]

You were called a poacher by an ignoramus. You tuned her up. Good on you! Somebody else's problem now, not yours. You did good!

[Jimboy]

Teller ta lick nuts.:thinking-006:

[FishingMOM]

You set the woman straight, you ticked them off because they don't like being told they are WRONG.
Now you will have to listen to your old woman belly ache for a few days, but she will get over it.

Don't worry about it.

A little education never hurt anyone, if anything it might help these 2.
Mind you Nothing you do in regards to harming an animal is right until a bear eats one of her friends or their kids, then you will be the first person she calls, because she knows you know how to handle the situation.





Okay, so a mild vent here to people who would actually understand.

My 'ol lady's best friend has a roommate (we live in a remote community, they are all teachers) who is a 50 year old animal lover. You know the kind, has rescued 25 rez dogs so far, etc. Which is fine, I don't criticize how someone else lives their life.

We will say her name is Sue, my 'Ol Lady's Best Friend's name is Helen, and my name is Mick.

Sue told Helen, in regards to hearing about my bear bait barrel: "What Mick does is just like poaching." Helen told my 'Ol Lady.

I went and had a very nice, polite talk with Sue saying that no, I am not in fact poaching, this is how bears are hunted as per the regulations. I explained that the word 'poacher' shouldn't be bandied about so lightly, because it's really offensive to anyone who does hunt and has a lot of legal and ethical connotations.

I did the polite talk with Helen in front of Sue and my 'Ol Lady.

Now my 'Ol Lady is furious at me because I have started 'girl drama' and nobody will apparently tell anyone anything again, and bla bla bla. I think it's just people being dramatic, but I want to see what you all think.

Did I violate some unwritten gossip code, or was I absolutely in my rights to have a talk with her about this?

I do not want it to turn into: "Sue said what Mick does is just like Poaching."

And then from the telephone game, it morph via someone else into: "Mick is poaching."

That's all I need.