Rusty P. Bucket
11-08-2008, 03:26 PM
The other day I stomped into Ye Olde Gun Shoppe and up to the bald headed clerk behind the counter. I couldn't believe the man's attitude. He takes one look at me and says "Get outta my shop Rusty..."
He had a pained look on his face so I logically assumed that he was having a bad bout of gas. I am a reasonable man and I can forgive anyone for having a bad day. By way of making conversation, I asked him what was troubling him.
"Rusty, the first time you came into my shop you demanded a 'strap on' and then made a big scene because nobody knew you were talking about a PAST recoil pad. The second time you came in here I almost got fired for cleaning your clock when you started talking about a "bag for your balls" - then you got all hissy because we don't sell black powder possibles bags here. Every time you come in here, you sound like some kind of pervert, then you start a big fight and I am sick of it! Get out!!!"
Wow. This guy had a real chip on his shoulder. So being a good sport, I soothed his ruffled feathers and assured him on my honour that there would be no foolishness this time round, and that my inquiry was entirely legitimate and that he would have no trouble helping me out whatsoever.
So the bald headed clerk mulled it over and said "Rusty, if you promise me there will be none of your usual nonsense, and swear on a stack of Bibles that you won't make an ***** of yourself - I'll help you out. But you gotta promise..."
So I jovially agreed and the good fellow seemed to come out of his funk. "Whaddya need Rusty?" he asked. His attitude was much improved if I do say so myself.
"I need to flush my nipples" I said, "They keep plugging up on me..."
Was it something I said? The clerk was turning a bright shade of purple and a vein throbbed in his temple. "Get out!" he says. Well, I was fed up with the man's attitude and had had enough of him myself!
"See here, you bald-headed furly," I roared, "Either you help me out with my plugged nipples, or I'll come around the counter and box your ears!!"
I should have left. The big fellow got a massive hand on my head, slammed it down on the counter and started pistol whipping me with 9mm automatic. Let me tell you something guys, those things hurt!!! I have been pounded on the noggin with fry pans, rolling pins and once by a frozen trout, but nothing, and I mean nothing - hurts worse than being pistol whipped. When the Beretta had been pounded to pieces I was rudely ejected to the applause of the other sportsmen in the shop.
So once again I am punished for just trying to support the local shop and be a good guy!:mad: Who woulda thunk it???
In any event, for those of you that need to flush your nipples, our good friends on the internet are ready to help you out, unlike the thug down at Ye Olde Gun Shoppe!
http://www.trackofthewolf.com/(S(i0gus2jpykcb1m55pchkbmfi))/categories/partList.aspx?catID=14&subID=171&styleID=784
I think I should start my own store and teach everyone a lesson. Maybe call it "Track Of The Turkey"....:)
Don't everyone place your orders at once!
He had a pained look on his face so I logically assumed that he was having a bad bout of gas. I am a reasonable man and I can forgive anyone for having a bad day. By way of making conversation, I asked him what was troubling him.
"Rusty, the first time you came into my shop you demanded a 'strap on' and then made a big scene because nobody knew you were talking about a PAST recoil pad. The second time you came in here I almost got fired for cleaning your clock when you started talking about a "bag for your balls" - then you got all hissy because we don't sell black powder possibles bags here. Every time you come in here, you sound like some kind of pervert, then you start a big fight and I am sick of it! Get out!!!"
Wow. This guy had a real chip on his shoulder. So being a good sport, I soothed his ruffled feathers and assured him on my honour that there would be no foolishness this time round, and that my inquiry was entirely legitimate and that he would have no trouble helping me out whatsoever.
So the bald headed clerk mulled it over and said "Rusty, if you promise me there will be none of your usual nonsense, and swear on a stack of Bibles that you won't make an ***** of yourself - I'll help you out. But you gotta promise..."
So I jovially agreed and the good fellow seemed to come out of his funk. "Whaddya need Rusty?" he asked. His attitude was much improved if I do say so myself.
"I need to flush my nipples" I said, "They keep plugging up on me..."
Was it something I said? The clerk was turning a bright shade of purple and a vein throbbed in his temple. "Get out!" he says. Well, I was fed up with the man's attitude and had had enough of him myself!
"See here, you bald-headed furly," I roared, "Either you help me out with my plugged nipples, or I'll come around the counter and box your ears!!"
I should have left. The big fellow got a massive hand on my head, slammed it down on the counter and started pistol whipping me with 9mm automatic. Let me tell you something guys, those things hurt!!! I have been pounded on the noggin with fry pans, rolling pins and once by a frozen trout, but nothing, and I mean nothing - hurts worse than being pistol whipped. When the Beretta had been pounded to pieces I was rudely ejected to the applause of the other sportsmen in the shop.
So once again I am punished for just trying to support the local shop and be a good guy!:mad: Who woulda thunk it???
In any event, for those of you that need to flush your nipples, our good friends on the internet are ready to help you out, unlike the thug down at Ye Olde Gun Shoppe!
http://www.trackofthewolf.com/(S(i0gus2jpykcb1m55pchkbmfi))/categories/partList.aspx?catID=14&subID=171&styleID=784
I think I should start my own store and teach everyone a lesson. Maybe call it "Track Of The Turkey"....:)
Don't everyone place your orders at once!