Let's talk about suicide

[Quinner]

I know this is a weird thing to come out of the blue, but on New Year's Day we lost my girlfriends little brother to suicide. I've been wanting to post this for some time but didn't know how.
I just want to say if your in a dark place or severly depressed, please, please, please talk to someone. Please seek help. Call a friend, a family member, a neighbour. Just do anything.
And please think of the people your leaving behind. It's been a tough go.
I just hope this message can get to one person, to help anyone. Your not alone and life isn't as bad as your thinking. You are loved.
Sorry if I ruined anyone's night but just sitting here thinking and had to purge. Sorry for being dark .

[pikergolf]

So sorry to hear of your loss.

[sunkenfr]

I'm sorry for your loss. I too have lost a family member to this. My father. And every day you wonder what i could of done. Now 10 years later and we are coming to realize as a society the issues we have with mental health. I do struggle with the same things but have learned through my experience how to deal with it and also with medication. It is not the answer but it does help with the ups and down. I would like to believe if it was a more open conversation that we would have fewer of these incidents. I have a lot more on this subject but I will keep it short and would like to hear the comments of everyone

[Hydro1]

I only post this beacause of the "faceless" nature of the forum.
A little over two years ago my girlfriends dad past away after a double bipass surgery.
My girlfriends mom took it extremely hard. having issues with depression in the past we were all worried about her. Fast forward to the day after the funeral. At about midnight she downed a few bottles of different pills and some alcohol. Wrote a letter, with her will present and left. Called the police right away, however they couldnt do much. I was training a dog for Sar at that time. Girlfriend, her sister, and myself and this dog went after her.
3 hours later we found her passed out by a creek bed. Ambulance took her to the hospital. Stomach pumped and given charcoal. A few days in the mental illness ward did nothing. She was then transferred to ponokas institution. Nearly a month in there, she was released. Since then weekly therapist visits, and an ssri have made a durasric improvement.
Im glad she is finally getting the help she needs.

A few old friends from high school have since passed from suicide.
Suicide is always a crappy subject to talk about...
Sorry for your loss quinner.

[TreeGuy]

Quinner, good on you for initiating a conversation on such a hidden subject.

It's probably only a matter of time though before this thread gets derailed but that's just how it goes sometimes.


Suicide has always been around me growing up. It first happened when I was 10. My bud down the road put a 12 gauge in his mouth for a reason we've never understood.

He was 12.

More recent, my sister's childhood best friend who was like just another kid in our household ended her life. She married the love of her life and he was killed in a plane crash on Valentine's Day. She spiralled worse than the Cessna and ten HARD years of misery for everyone ended before Christmas.

These are just two stories. Sadly, I have about a dozen more.

I guess the point is that you just never know what's going on with people. Suicide is a sneaky thing. But I guess that's sorta the nature of the beast. I spent an entire day one time skiing hard all day with a close bud, laughing all the way. That night he put a gun in his mouth. We were 16......,

Fak. Sad/Mad now.

May finish post later.

[wasteland.soldier]

Sorry to hear about that Quinner.

[Long_Range]

When I was 23 my best Freind went out with me for few beers we talked a lot he needed a job recently married and adopted his loves little girl so I gave him work I used to run a roofing bussiness at the time he was quit the cheapo only bought draft an didn't really share he didn't have muc growing up but that night he. Was buying bottled beer and wouldn't let me pay at all at the time I didn't think about. Dropped him off at home and went to wok to download some equip on the sat - his wife called me frantically crying he ran a hose into the can of his truck and went to sleep with it running. - to this day I wonder what did I miss that Friday night it bothers me a lot and I've never talked about till now


Quinner your message is loud and clear people. Need to know they are loved specially when it's dark days for them. Since then I leave anger out of things and forget and move forward in positive way with everyone I know maybe that Someone is crying out for help and needs positive reinforcement

Quinner my heart goes out you and your woman's family

[trooper]

We often hear about this subject, and usually it's treated at arms length by the general population.. such a tragedy and one hell of a stigma to live with if you get diagnosed with severe depression. Your ability to purchase firearms goes right out the window, even if you are treated successfully. I think of our fellow vets who have PTSD and are refused a PAL due to the possibility of a PTSD related suicide.

[58thecat]

Very complicated subject, starts with opening up and discussing but all cases are unique and can't be grouped, sorry to hear of this tragedy.

[densa44]

Suicides kill more Albertans than car crashes. Did you know that, and it has been that way for many years.

Severe depression kills 1/3 of the people who suffer from it, and treatment for depression is effective.

Depression plus alcohol makes death much more likely especially in males.

If some one tells you that they are thinking about killing themselves, believe them. You don't have to be a Doctor or expert just try to get them some help asap. The treatment will work.

If a person has means, a plan, says they won't be around long, gives away treasured possessions, they are extremely ill and need our help.

If we can just help a few that will be a big step in the right direction.

When they say "It takes a village to raise a child" the may mean suicide prevention, we all need to help.

Thanks for the post, more education should help.

[recce43]

Unfortunately i had to deal with this subject wheb i was 22 when my roommate in the army commited suicide i had know him from child hood. At that time i blamed him for taking the chicken way out of life.it hurt me bad but now we understand alittle better now about mental health. we still have along ways to go

[Zip]

I know this is a weird thing to come out of the blue, but on New Year's Day we lost my girlfriends little brother to suicide. I've been wanting to post this for some time but didn't know how.
I just want to say if your in a dark place or severly depressed, please, please, please talk to someone. Please seek help. Call a friend, a family member, a neighbour. Just do anything.
And please think of the people your leaving behind. It's been a tough go.
I just hope this message can get to one person, to help anyone. Your not alone and life isn't as bad as your thinking. You are loved.
Sorry if I ruined anyone's night but just sitting here thinking and had to purge. Sorry for being dark .

Tough subject to talk about even in this day and age, but it shouldn't be, Quinner my thoughts and prayers are with you and the family left behind...I know what this feels like, I have had a few friends go down this path and like others have said above, I wish I would have noticed the signs at the time.
Quinner you may have started a tough subject to talk about for many people but your message is loud and clear and spot on...your message may just help others.
Good on you for starting the conversation, so sorry to hear of suicide taking away another life.
Sadly
Zip

[Brock1]

to the OP, thx for bringing this very real issue in to discussion.

Today at 1300 hrs I am attending a funeral of a friend and colleague. He and I worked on the same platoon for many many years. He took his own life earlier this week in one of our stations. he left behind 2 very young children and his wife.
Our entire dept is struggling with his death. He was a stellar paramedic and one of the most reliable colleagues I've know.
Take care of your team guys.

he will be missed.

[Brock1]

to the OP, thx for bringing this very real issue in to discussion.

Today at 1300 hrs I am attending a funeral of a friend and colleague. He and I worked on the same platoon for many many years. He took his own life earlier this week in one of our stations. he left behind 2 very young children and his wife.
Our entire dept is struggling with his death. He was a stellar paramedic and one of the most reliable colleagues I've know.
Take care of your team guys.

he will be missed.

His name is Greg Turner.

[cricketlakehunter]

Condolences for everyone's loss. I too lost a close friend to suicide. Isn't it curious how suicide has impacted a lot of us yet is rarely talked about? Thanks Quinner for starting this thread.

[omega50]

Sorry for all involved Quinner.
1983 I gave my good buddy a shotgun so he could shoot rabbits at the lake in the winter at his parents cabin he was living in.
His drunk alcoholic dad showed up and found some weed inside and started roughing up my buddy.
He grabbed the shotgun as he ran out of the cabin as defense and the Dad chased.
While his Mom looked out from the window the Dad started yelling that Rob did not have the balls to shoot him-taunting him.
Rob stuck the barrel under his own chin and blew the side of his own head off.
For 3 years after his Mom would call me randomly when she had been drinking and ask me why I had killed her son.
If only I had not given him that shotgun-he would still be alive.

When someone decides to take their own life it is where they want to be in that instant.
The impact of their actions change many other lives forever.

[Twisted Canuck]

It's unfortunate how the topic can be so taboo still. If you bring up cancer, we have all experienced it firsthand with family or friends it seems like, and can be discussed. But suicide we all seem to circle around it like it is shameful and best kept in the closet. Since my teens, I can name 8 friends who have taken their lives (sadly, a friend who did this when I was a teen had his son follow suit not 12 years later). Most recently my hunting partner and former Canadian Forces member took his life, in his garage, with his 3 son's not 25 feet away in the house. He was getting councilling, and had recently had his meds 'adjusted'. The tragedy and upheaval left behind is heartbreaking. All his friends were daily and sometimes hourly communicating with him, knowing he was struggling. He had actually brought all his firearms to my house a month before he did this to himself, and told me not to give them back to him. He had kept one disassembled on his work bench he was restoring for his father though, and I guess he got it back together and working. It's just a ****ty deal for everyone that it touches. We got to be friends because he coached my son in hockey, and there must have been over 100 boys at his funeral that he coached over the years. Just plain devastating.

Ah well, heavy sigh. Yes, as the OP said, please ask for help, and keep asking, and don't quit on yourself and on those who not only care for you, but need you. TC

[Jack&7]

Terrible stories...each and every one.

It is soooo hard for the surrounding friends and family to sometimes 'catch' the signs and symptoms. It is no surprise as the reasons behind many suicides can be as complex and varied as anything. Physical sickness, abuse, financial, loneliness, PTSD, bullying, etc.

Sadly, the list goes on and on. And the only solution I can think of (if there is one), is to watch out for each other. You know when you friends and family members are a little 'off'. Talk to them. See if they are okay. What do they need. Be there.

I think we have as a society become increasingly connected with technology and have become decreasingly disconnected personally. Turn off the phones and the TV...turn off the games and computers for the kids...and talk. Interact. Go do something together. One of the red flags for suicide is isolation. It is waaaaaaay too easy to become isolated today.

[Redfrog]

It's been called a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

But it seldom is a temporary problem to person looking for relief from unending pain or isolation.

[edmontonlady]

Terrible stories...each and every one.

It is soooo hard for the surrounding friends and family to sometimes 'catch' the signs and symptoms. It is no surprise as the reasons behind many suicides can be as complex and varied as anything. Physical sickness, abuse, financial, loneliness, PTSD, bullying, etc.

Sadly, the list goes on and on. And the only solution I can think of (if there is one), is to watch out for each other. You know when you friends and family members are a little 'off'. Talk to them. See if they are okay. What do they need. Be there.

I think we have as a society become increasingly connected with technology and have become decreasingly disconnected personally. Turn off the phones and the TV...turn off the games and computers for the kids...and talk. Interact. Go do something together. One of the red flags for suicide is isolation. It is waaaaaaay too easy to become isolated today.


I agree. It is way too easy to become detached and feel alone. I think it is a positive step to discuss suicide and its effects on the person suffering from it as well as the possible affects/effects on the surviving people close.
It is horrible to read of the losses of so many to suicide and how awful for those who have lost someone this way. But knowledge and learning are usually helpful to prevent most things...maybe even horrible tragedies like this.
Ironically I was reading today about the band Chicago and their original guitar player who emptied the clip of a gun and then put it to his head and pulled the trigger. He forgot about emptying the chamber and so it was over. He was thirty two, this was years ago. Suicide?
A loss of a life is tragic at any time.

[Sooner]

I was a young teen when I watched our neighbor, my dads best friend spiral down into depression. In the end and after a stay in hospital and therapy with many people doing all they could, he got his wish. My dad found him in his car in the garage. His son(a year younger than me at the time) was the one who called my dad and asked if they could go check on his dad(lived on the other side of town) as no one could get ahold of him that morning(long before cell phones). His son stood outside of the garage while my dad went in to check. Brutal X100 and something i will never forget is the sadness and questions he left behind. In the end and it seems to me I am seeing this trend where sooner or later most of the people suffering get their wish no matter what, regardless who tries to stop it. It is so sad as all have lots to live for and leave the ones behind wondering for the rest of their lives. It is truly a mental issue where Imo, something changes in the brain, as my dads best friend lived to enjoy life, friends and family and then due to stress in life, something changed and the guy I went and visited in the hospital, was no where near the guy I knew a few months before. Total change in thoughts,outlook etc. So sad as it seems most people have been affected by it and we all can relate in some way to the stories being told here. Great thread topic Quinner and condolences to those who have lost someone to suicide.

[Quinner]

Sorry for all involved Quinner.
1983 I gave my good buddy a shotgun so he could shoot rabbits at the lake in the winter at his parents cabin he was living in.
His drunk alcoholic dad showed up and found some weed inside and started roughing up my buddy.
He grabbed the shotgun as he ran out of the cabin as defense and the Dad chased.
While his Mom looked out from the window the Dad started yelling that Rob did not have the balls to shoot him-taunting him.
Rob stuck the barrel under his own chin and blew the side of his own head off.
For 3 years after his Mom would call me randomly when she had been drinking and ask me why I had killed her son.
If only I had not given him that shotgun-he would still be alive.

When someone decides to take their own life it is where they want to be in that instant.
The impact of their actions change many other lives forever.


I understand how you feel. He lived with us, and before I moved in there weren't any guns in the house. I was away working when it happened. I blamed myself for what happened. I showed him where the key for the safe was as I had no idea about his inner demons. It's hard to get past. I'm angry and disappointed and feel guilty about it all at the same time. The phone call still haunts me at 3 am from the girlfriend. The shock and having to drive home 5 hours. I just want to bring it to the forefront. I want people to seek help. He'll just pm me. I'll talk to you.
It's uncomfortable but it shouldn't be. Talking helps. And this helps.

[deerhunter]

I lost my daughter to souicide on March 30,2007
Her husband did himself in a year earlier and she could not cope with it.
There had no children

[58thecat]

I lost my daughter to souicide on March 30,2007
Her husband did himself in a year earlier and she could not cope with it.
There had no children

Sorry deerhunter, sorry to all who have lost, I am at a loss for words, wish there was a solution, a fix or something but this communication helps as it could happen to anyone. I have lost past buddies, family members and we just deal with it and move on but sometimes I ask myself what could we have done along the way? It eats at you, very tough to answer when one does not know this goes on until a tragedy happens.

[hayseed]

I am having a hard time reading this thread, because Ive been there... but I am still here. I was close a time or two, or many... damn close in fact. I cant get into this right now, but whoever reads this.....

There is help. A **** load of it. When that day seems like its your last... it isn't.
Talk to someone, anyone!!! It may seem like its the only way, and for some it is, trust me I know. I am emotional just writing this... everyday I see the sun rise, I know I made the right choice...

[243 wild cat]

I lost my daughter to souicide on March 30,2007
Her husband did himself in a year earlier and she could not cope with it.
There had no children

When I was 26 my best friend took his life. I had not seen him or talked to him for some time before the night he did it. He had called me up and we talked & talked about the good times we had on the rodeo trails and other great memories and that we should get together some time and have a beer. He said i was a good friend and that it was great that we got to BS. That was the last time i talk to him. Everything seemed normal he was doing great so i thought the only thing out of place was i still don't know how he tracked me down to talk. I was working on the rigs a lot and he happend to find out the right place to catch up with me. I still think of him often i miss him. Sorry to hear of your loss deerhunter & yours as well Quinner.

[norwestalta]

Very sad reading this thread.
I have a hard time wrapping my head around this issue and don't know how life could get so bad that it would make a person not want to exist anymore.
My brother had a situation where he thought he'd be better of dead and I talked him off the ledge he was on. Thank fully. A very scary situation at the time.

[nube]

I never like talking about the subject. I have been to too many suicides trying to revive them. Seen all kinds and a lot of them will haunt me the rest of my life. It frustrates me and makes me mad to have to see the things I see and wish people would think of what they are doing and how it will affect others. Judge me if you want.

Sorry to hear of your loss Quinner. It is no fun at all to have this sort of thing happen to anyone

[FishingMOM]

Winter is the hardest time of the year to cope.
I've lost a number of people in my life to suicide over the years since I was a child.

Remember if someone comes to you even jokingly about suicide, its not a joke.
They are asking for help.

When dealing with young people you often deal with lovers pacts, and you can often break that pact, as one isn't as committed to that deal. They will spill the beans if you have a strong relationship with that person and they know they can trust you! My ex boyfriends daughter came to me when she was 16 to say her boyfriend wanted them to both OD and kill themselves. I reassured her that she didn't have to do this and we would save him too. Once I talked to her father we got it all straightened out and were able to fix the whole mess. She was terrified to tell her parents. Her father was a very reasonable man.
Happily Amanada is married to another young man now and is in her yearly 20's.

[tullfan]

I'm going to pre emp this by telling you I'm 43 years old.
When I was young I played hockey in southern Ontario Always played on the best teams, the select teams. One year the league decided that stacking the teams was no longer fair, so. The team league decided that players would be picked from pools, so many "A" players,"B" players and "C" players being the ones who for whatever reason had hockey issues.
Ok so we get a player and he is horrible, can barely skate, can"t turn, can"t shoot, but he liked to chase around the players from the other team when you said get go get that guy, we teased him a lot. We were 13.. He would literally chase guys around the ice while play was still happening Everyone laughed. Turns out. His mom was a single mom, he had no father, not much money (don't know how she even afforded the hockey fees), donated equipment, and he had an an "illness" that was not known back then. He missed a practice one day, and a game the next. The Sunday we played again we were informed he had hung himself. 13. I thought about back then, as I rethink about it now. With tears in my eyes as I write this. Nobody ever took the time to get to know him We were a bunch of boys who had played in the league for years. We went to school together, played together, hung out together. We knew one another, our parents knew each other. We did not take the time for this kid. He was a laughable excuse for a hockey player that we made fun of and because of us (maybe) and or other factors, he found no other way, nothing to take his pain away, no one to help him. Geeze we could have tought him to skate. He killed himself ! 13, that was 30 years ago. You change the way you treat people, and you sometimes recognize the signs and you work with people. Be supportive, sympathetic, and aware. You never know when your conversation is the last one in a person's life, or the next one that will help them for the rest of their hopefully long life.
Thanks for sharing. People need to be aware mental illness is real.

Tullfan

[Eye'ee]

I read a lot. Don't post much. This thread hits home. I've known 3 that took their lives. Terrible each time. We used to make fun of people who were "sad". But it's real VERY REAL. If you are feeling like its a solution please don't. Talk to somebody, volunteer yourself to help somebody else. Find a way to help somebody else. That may be the way to help yourself. Don't be shy about getting some help from somewhere.
Sorry for your situation OP but thanks for bringing this subject up. It's hard to hear the stories of the people who have been left behind. Take care all

[thunderheart]

i am so sad to hear of this happening to anyone .. it is devastating really. . like most of you i have had friends end their lives .. one was buddy was deeply depressed but not even his wife knew ... said he was going duck hunting and called he called told her what he was doing ... said his good byes and on the cell phone she heard the gun go off .. it was the worst ... a couple others too but....
like the OP said .. please talk to someone ...