Holiday anxiety

[Cold lake guy]

Just a quick post, for those that struggle like me…..your not alone.

[Jims83cj5]

Just a quick post, for those that struggle like me…..your not alone.

Hang in there bud, I was there too, took many many years to get better about this time of year, but it did. Merry Christmas to you and thx for reaching out.

[KegRiver]

For many years I dreaded Christmas.

But that is all behind me now. It does get better.

You are not alone.

[Mb-MBR]

Just a quick post, for those that struggle like me…..your not alone.

As has been mentioned, hang in there. Hunker down, do things in the small and before you know we'll be on the downside of it.

[Vingiu]

I logged on here a few times today hoping I’d see a post like this. You guys get it.

[Twisted Canuck]

I can relate to the difficulties of the holidays, and the struggles. We make a point every Thanksgiving and Christmas of having a friend or two over that we know don't have family or anyplace to go. A big turkey meal and some fellowship go a long ways sometimes. The last couple years have been difficult on so many levels. If everybody made a small effort, I think it would help a lot. Sometimes we just don't even know who is struggling. If AO is nothing else, I know it is a place where people can reach out and have somebody who will listen and be a friend too.

[ManitobaSlim]

I hear ya. Seems even harder now that I quit drinking.

[HunterDave]

It’s been a tough couple of years with lockdowns, etc and the holiday season can for sure cause added anxiety. There are lots of people that experience the same thing so hopefully you folks can contact one other and offer some moral support for each other. That’s how new friends are created.

[JULIUS]

I will stand with you as others have stood with me. It will be better.

[Mb-MBR]

I hear ya. Seems even harder now that I quit drinking.

Hey MS, not sure when you quit drinking, I quit in 83, one of the best decisions I've ever made, hang in there.

My mom lost 3 of here children just before Christmas in a housefire, I was her first born after her loss. This time of the year was always somber for her but she soldiered on. You could tell as the holiday season passed that she was somewhat relieved.

[58thecat]

I just get outside in the fresh air and seems to do me a lot of good, no people just a good walk in the woods and of course with my pup by my side.:)

[Ken07AOVette]

Christmas was always tough, my Dad died when I was 26 in 1993, my Mom and only sister died 2 months apart December 2006.
Having only inlaws as family was never the same.
It does get easier, only time helps.
I wanted to start a post about remembering the ones we lost but did not want to do it Christmas day.

[boonedocks]

I’m in the same boat! Feeling much more at ease today. You are definitely not alone!!

[GrandSlam]

Yes, I can definitely relate. It’s tough when all the childhood memories start flooding in.

[gman1978]

I found last year tough, we obey’ed the restrictions and not getting together made it difficult for me. Getting pictures from friends that still gathered with family last year really hit me hard. This year getting together with all my own family from both sides and connecting with friends has been a blessing. Just having a normal Christmas sure helped.

[tri777]

Good thread Cold lake guy, in earlier 2000's I heavily despised this seasonal holiday stuff,
still find it all rather annoying but it doesn't seem to bother me much anymore.

[Pioneer2]

It's tough when all you have left is memories and photographs of happier times .Many "friends" and family deserted,dysfunctional,divorced or deceased. Being around others that seem to have it all only makes things worse. As a single male you are no longer welcome in the couples group you used to frequent.

[threeforthree]

Glad you can post your feelings, truly we are dysfunctional, start with a second, go to a min to a hr, to a day. We need you to get thru this.

[buckbrush]

Good post. We're not alone and neither are you.

I think it more common than people think and from both sides. Some wish to have more company and some wish to have non.

I enjoy this time of the year for the kids. I hate the rest of it.

[teledogs]

Christmas has never been easy for me. A bit better this year. Thanks Cold Lake Guy! It is good to see support as it is so easy to feel alone!

[urban rednek]

Saw this pocket article on Holiday Blues that may offer some helpful ideas.
https://getpocket.com/explore/item/what-psychiatrists-have-to-say-about-holiday-blues?

[Grizzly Adams1]

I just get outside in the fresh air and seems to do me a lot of good, no people just a good walk in the woods and of course with my pup by my side.:)

X2, it's the sitting in the house that does you in.

Grizz

[tirebob]

For me it is more of a people anxiety thing. The fact that Christmas is the time of year when everyone wants to get together so much in such a short period of time is what does it for me.

It sounds crazy and at odds with my friendly nature, but because I have worked day in and day out with the public since I was a kid, I value solitude quite a bit, and once in my own private world there are very few people I let into that. I am someone who needs to prepare myself for human interaction once I cross the threshold into my own space. I will panic if someone knocks on the door and I was not expecting them. I almost never pick up the telephone unless it is a call I am expecting. The older I get the worse it gets too. All the people close to me know to leave a message when they phone and if I am here I will pick up if it is something of an emergency or I am in a mindset I can deal, otherwise I will call back once I am ready.

It seriously is not a nice affliction to live with and leads to hurt feeling sometimes and I hate it, but it is how I have to live to control the anxiousness, and then Christmas hits!

[tri777]

How are you managing Cold lake guy?

[The Elkster]

"It sounds crazy and at odds with my friendly nature, but because I have worked day in and day out with the public since I was a kid, I value solitude quite a bit, and once in my own private world there are very few people I let into that. I am someone who needs to prepare myself for human interaction once I cross the threshold into my own space. I will panic if someone knocks on the door and I was not expecting them. I almost never pick up the telephone unless it is a call I am expecting. The older I get the worse it gets too. All the people close to me know to leave a message when they phone and if I am here I will pick up if it is something of an emergency or I am in a mindset I can deal, otherwise I will call back once I am ready.

It seriously is not a nice affliction to live with and leads to hurt feeling sometimes and I hate it, but it is how I have to live to control the anxiousness, and then Christmas hits!"

100% the same. I can come off as friendly and chatty even over chatty at times but what you describe is who I am 95% of the time...and it has definitely gotten worse with age. The phone message thing and door knocking just hit so close to home. Also spur of the moment social engagements or social outings with many people I don't really know raise my anxiety level to a 10. Definitely makes maintaining friendships hard and people end up getting the wrong read on who you are by reading into the radio silence and no shows for social events. I pretty much just keep to myself and make the most of solo life now. Helps to know others are the same. Thanks for sharing.

cheers

[Bushrat]

100% the same. I can come off as friendly and chatty even over chatty at times but what you describe is who I am 95% of the time...and it has definitely gotten worse with age. The phone message thing and door knocking just hit so close to home. Also spur of the moment social engagements or social outings with many people I don't really know raise my anxiety level to a 10. Definitely makes maintaining friendships hard and people end up getting the wrong read on who you are by reading into the radio silence and no shows for social events. I pretty much just keep to myself and make the most of solo life now. Helps to know others are the same. Thanks for sharing.

cheers

Not many understand this.

[tirebob]

"It sounds crazy and at odds with my friendly nature, but because I have worked day in and day out with the public since I was a kid, I value solitude quite a bit, and once in my own private world there are very few people I let into that. I am someone who needs to prepare myself for human interaction once I cross the threshold into my own space. I will panic if someone knocks on the door and I was not expecting them. I almost never pick up the telephone unless it is a call I am expecting. The older I get the worse it gets too. All the people close to me know to leave a message when they phone and if I am here I will pick up if it is something of an emergency or I am in a mindset I can deal, otherwise I will call back once I am ready.

It seriously is not a nice affliction to live with and leads to hurt feeling sometimes and I hate it, but it is how I have to live to control the anxiousness, and then Christmas hits!"

100% the same. I can come off as friendly and chatty even over chatty at times but what you describe is who I am 95% of the time...and it has definitely gotten worse with age. The phone message thing and door knocking just hit so close to home. Also spur of the moment social engagements or social outings with many people I don't really know raise my anxiety level to a 10. Definitely makes maintaining friendships hard and people end up getting the wrong read on who you are by reading into the radio silence and no shows for social events. I pretty much just keep to myself and make the most of solo life now. Helps to know others are the same. Thanks for sharing.

cheers

Yep! Me to a tee… I tell anyone who I think may become a friend that while I am loyal and will die for them, I am not someone who needs to make meaningless conversations talking on the phone daily etc, and I may “no show” social gatherings of more than 2 people, myself being one of those people.
Lol! It is not a matter of like.. It is a matter of anxiety and it won’t be fixed by giving me a hard time.

[urban rednek]

I'll just leave this here. For anyone that needs to share it.

[RandyBoBandy]

For me it is more of a people anxiety thing. The fact that Christmas is the time of year when everyone wants to get together so much in such a short period of time is what does it for me.

It sounds crazy and at odds with my friendly nature, but because I have worked day in and day out with the public since I was a kid, I value solitude quite a bit, and once in my own private world there are very few people I let into that. I am someone who needs to prepare myself for human interaction once I cross the threshold into my own space. I will panic if someone knocks on the door and I was not expecting them. I almost never pick up the telephone unless it is a call I am expecting. The older I get the worse it gets too. All the people close to me know to leave a message when they phone and if I am here I will pick up if it is something of an emergency or I am in a mindset I can deal, otherwise I will call back once I am ready.

It seriously is not a nice affliction to live with and leads to hurt feeling sometimes and I hate it, but it is how I have to live to control the anxiousness, and then Christmas hits!

Very well said TB....I am in the same boat as what you just shared !! 100% in it...I just need that down time for my mental health :)

[tri777]

Got to admit, this thread has shocked me abit, kinda thought I was an alone wolf on this stuff.

[Mb-MBR]

Just a shout out to Cold Lake Guy..............only 2 says into 2022 but I feel better already, hope all is well.

[sns2]

I am Tirebob to a tee. I teach all day, and so am surrounded by people, but when the bell rings, I am peopled out. I enjoy quiet and solitude. Since the plague hit, my normally high anxiety has gone through the roof. At times, it has been debilitating, and crowds just exacerbate the shtty feelings greatly.

OP, try and identify what triggers you the worst. If you can eliminate those things, do so.

As has been said, just get outside and move.

I don’t know where I would be without my dog. Really. Training, and just being on a walk with him is my therapy. I am also very thankful for a few guys from AO who have become great friends, and when I need to talk, or receive my texts which is my preferred method of communication, they are there for me, and make me laugh like hell.

OP, if you haven’t already, go see your family doc. Meds can be very helpful.

[amosfella]

I didn't have anxiety from Christmas. I just disliked the time of year. Generally I was sick for my birthday and Christmas to the point that I couldn't enjoy either. I often times as a kid wound up puking up my birthday cake. Left a bad taste in my mouth.

I also disliked christmas because of the hustle and bustle of the time of year, I could never have a party with my friends when I wasn't sick. Their parents were always too busy. And something similar to SAD didn't help the mood either.

I guess it could be worse. I could be like the girl in school whose birthday was christmas eve.

[tirebob]

I am Tirebob to a tee. I teach all day, and so am surrounded by people, but when the bell rings, I am peopled out. I enjoy quiet and solitude. Since the plague hit, my normally high anxiety has gone through the roof. At times, it has been debilitating, and crowds just exacerbate the shtty feelings greatly.

OP, try and identify what triggers you the worst. If you can eliminate those things, do so.

As has been said, just get outside and move.

I don’t know where I would be without my dog. Really. Training, and just being on a walk with him is my therapy. I am also very thankful for a few guys from AO who have become great friends, and when I need to talk, or receive my texts which is my preferred method of communication, they are there for me, and make me laugh like hell.

OP, if you haven’t already, go see your family doc. Meds can be very helpful.

I agree man... I must say, the forums have been a bit of a life saver for me, and the contacts made outside of them. Even if we can't hang out a ton in person, just having people to jaw with here and there, have a laugh and help buy a firearm (haha!) helps immensely!

[omega50]

Generally many of my outwardly appearing most socially skilled friends enjoy significant anxiety.
Myself included.

But I do not consider it a negative.It is a defense mechanism to keep the F-Tards at bay.

When public speaking some visualize the audience naked.

When I get anxiety I visualize punching people in the throat.

It so helps.lol

People walking up, close on my heels in a grocery or watching me play slots a foot behind my chair are huge triggers

[graham1]

Man I’ve been there.
Long story and not one I like to admit or have ever said out loud.
Several years ago after a divorce I spent Christmas Day crying on the floor in my bedroom while my kids were having Christmas dinner with the ex and her new boyfriend.
Life can be horribly cruel at times.
Thankfully things are much better for me now.
And I hope they are for all soon.
Like others have said. Getting outside helps tremendously.

[GrandSlam]

One of the best threads on AO. Yes, the holidays can be very difficult for many. Especially for those who live alone.