10 Rules for Dating my son
 

It's a MOM thing


Attention Mamas of Boys! We always see the "Rules for Dating My Daughter"...well, here are the "Rules for Dating My SON"!

Rule One: If you talk with foul words and dress like a floozy in shirts that are too small and pants low with thong showing, then I will treat you like one. You are only allowed to wear granny panties super glued to your hind quarters.

Rule Two: If you date my son, you only date him. He has a kind heart and I will not have you make my son cry; if he does, I will make you cry. You may only date one of my sons. Ever.

Rule Three: You must know how to cook as well as I have taught my son to cook. He is a big eater. Frozen dinners do not count.

Rule Four: Do not be hurt when my son chooses sports over time with you. Join in and learn the game. Shopping does not count as a sport.

Rule Five: Do not date my son for his money, because I am his bank. Do not expect expensive gifts, because he has been taught to be a savvy shopper.

Rule Six: Do not sleep with my son. The only rubber he should be concerned about is out in the driveway and has Goodyear stamped on it.

Rule Seven: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pudgy, baggy-eyed, last-season, has-been. But on issues relating to my son, I am the queen of his universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth. If you do not, I will ask him. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Eight: My son has been raised not to hit a lady. So act like one and I will not have to hit you for him. :sHa_shakeshout:

Rule Nine: If you need more than 30 minutes to dress for a date with my son, be prepared to talk with him only during halftime and commercial breaks for identification from the local station.

Rule Ten: My son is not a toy. He does not have Hasbro, Mattel or any other toy company tattooed on his person. Hence, he is not an object for you to play with, manipulate, and discard at your leisure. I suffered through 42 hours of labor to have him, and will unleash an unimaginable amount of anger such that the movie 300 will look like an episode of the Little House on the Prairie should you cross me.

What are the rules for dating your daughter?

What are your sons rules for someone dating you???

My son will know what types you date and what types you dont

We already went through that list, I am sure you will even find an application on here.

As far as he is concerned mom doesn't date.

I'm certainly not inclined to date your son MOM. :)

You boys have said what you would do to boys who date your daughters and so I wanted to share the mom side of it for sons.

#8 and #10

Awesome.

http://www.outdoorsmenforum.ca/showthread.php?t=113550

X2
I don't think there are many guys are here interesed in dating your son.

Hmmm. My eldest is almost twenty. I just want him to meet a nice, non-manipulative, girl and move out!

is there such a thing? Might as well hope he meets Bigfoot driving a flying saucer!

My only job here is to teach junior firearm safety and how to shoot straight. Under MOM's supervision of course....but I think that we got over that aspect a long time ago. My weekend is free MOM. :)

Oh my

Man, you just made my night. That is pure gold!

Water... Nose.... Screen...lmao

A fathers rules for dating my son:

1. Dont be afraid to wear tight shirts or low jeans, you ain't gonna look like that forever, might as well give him Some good memories for what I call, The Oreo Years.

2. Dont be a cold hearted cheating bitch, You will only scar him for life and get half of a trailer that has a leaky roof and dorm room smell. He knows to spend all his money on guns before the preceedings!

3.You should cook, often. And Share. Specially baked goods. Oh, and please dont cry when you see a dead "bambi" in the garage

4. Feel free to watch as much Reality Television with him as he wants, The football game is Really happening, That hunting show really happened, and Oh Em Gee the news counts too. Welcome to the real reality.

5.When it comes to money, when you are dating, let him think he is still in charge of it and responsible, but be sure to sneak into the vows that you will give him a fair allowance. And please, PLEASE realize that firearms are an investment.

6. Kids have sex, I know this. You do it in my bed or car, and I will call your father and tell him the horror of what you did. Please be on the pill, we always will say just a little more, Pull N Pray dont work, how do you think I have a son?!

7. Leave your cell phone in your purse while in my presence. We do not text and eat, but feel free to use the phone in the kitchen to check in on the hour with your father, as I am sure it is requested.

8. My son will never hit a lady. For the record, Ladies dont cheat. My wife, however, has years of strength training by tearing oreo bags the size of your head in half, without looking. Dont make me use her!

9.Please understand that I think of you somewhat like a car. If you are getting dressed for an average day, you are permitted the same amount of time it takes for an oil change. If its a special event, you have the time needed to change a tire.

10.If you are coming along hunting or fishing, understanding that the only perfume you will need is urine based. Show up early or on time and in the appropriate camo. And if you feel the need to speak, please save it for around the campfire.


Welcome to the family, Hes a good boy but he has my jeans.
So if you could wash them and have em back to me once you teach him how to dress himself, that would be Great!

^^^^ hahaha

:sHa_shakeshout:~~good one.

More....there should be more??? :thinking-006:

Fishin Mom you knocked that one out of the park.Articulate concise and just a hint of femal griz

Right on :sHa_shakeshout:

GOOD GRIEF:thinking-006:

Excellent set of rules FishingMom. You obviously do not want your son just being some sort of "Trophy Husband" for some girl. (or anybody else)

You made sure it didn't happen to you and it certainly isn't going to happen to him with this set of rules. Nice work.

IF he finds more than one, let me know. They are rarer than unicorns these days.

Mammy as soon as sons ass doesn't hurt it is a .good date.:)
Sorry for not being politcorrect.

??

Dont feel bad rod.
Apparently this flood has affected the funny bone of our members.

The post about rules was a joke...... some guys get it, many didnt.

We have spoken many times what the guys would do when their daughters start dating........ well we mommas don't want our boys screwed with just like daddies dont want their princesses screwed with or otherwise hurt.
Heck most daddys have said they will greet her dates with a shotgun cleaning lessons ect.

I'm standing & applauding Fishing Mom. Thanks.

This is making me smile.