Quote:
Originally Posted by buckbrush
After reading this post, I truly feel sorry for you. You aren't wrong in thinking that having a wife and kids puts all of your assets at risk but in my eyes, having all that stuff with no one isn't much of a life.
Do what ever makes you happy though.
I have financially supported my family from the start and that was my choice. We have been lucky enough to live a decent lifestyle off of my income alone and that has allowed my wife to be a stay at home mom. I make sacrifices with being the sole bread winner and she makes sacrifices doing what she does....It's kind of a 'give and take' type of deal we have. It works for us and I don't think either of us has it any easier than the other.
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The problem is the throw away and I deserve better attitude of my generation. If her friends who are unhappy convince her that she deserves better, she's gone, and you're left holding the bag.
As far as I can see, if the problems that come from losing half of everything is removed, one can enjoy life a lot better. Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.
In my situation, I've seen more than a couple of cases where a girl marries a guy who is to inherit a large set of assets, eg., a farm, profitable company or business, etc., she sticks around til a few years after he gets it, and she splits, and he generally loses half of that inheritance plus having to sell more of the assets off to pay for lawyers. Whether that's due to poor lawyers or bad judges is unclear. I know of more than a few cases where this has happened. I know 3 personally. It's interesting that this pattern seems to crop up around 3 years after the guy has gotten the assets in his name.
With most intergenerational transfers of farms being done by 'purchase' rather than by a traditional will to skirt the tax laws, the property is considered property acquired during the marriage, and therefore up for grabs. Even if she never contributed a dime to the purchase.
In fact, I kicked one girl out who was trying to convince me to buy my parents out, and for me to marry her. I walked in on her having a conversation with one of her friends on the phone discussing how if she could convince me to do that, she'd have hit the lottery jackpot, and be able to take millions. I was sneaking into the house to surprise her, heard her on the phone, and stopped to listen when the conversation seemed to be about me on her plans for me.
That made me incredibly wary as I thought she was a good girl, and she never asked for what I considered to be too much. The rules are different when the game has higher stakes.
Now, I'm glad that you have the life I dream about. However, I haven't dated any girls that after a short while start showing a nature that I don't want in my life. Example, a girl I went out with for a very short while told me that she couldn't wait for her 'adopted' father to die so that she can sell the place, and get something more suited to her "status". Her 'father' had told me that he wanted to leave that property to his blood son. That was the end of that very quickly. But I'm glad you found someone that works well in your life.