The Story of Weedy1 and the Three Bears
Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Weedy1. He went for a walk in the forest. Pretty soon, he came upon a house. He knocked and, when no one answered, he walked right in.
At the table in the kitchen, there were three flasks of whiskey. Weedy1 was thirsty. He tasted the whiskey from the first flask.
"This whiskey is too dry!" he exclaimed.
So, he tasted the whiskey from the second flask.
" This whiskey is too sweet!” he said
So, he tasted the last flask of whiskey.
"Ahhh, this whiskey is just right," he said happily and he drank it all down.
After he'd drank the three bears' whiskey he decided he was feeling a little ****ed. So, he stumbled into the living room where he saw three chairs. Weedy1 landed head first into the first chair to rest his feet.
"This chair smells like bear dung!" he exclaimed.
So he wobbled over to the second chair.
"This chair smells like bear urine!" he whined.
So he tried the last and smallest chair.
"Ahhh, this chair is just right," he sighed. But just as he settled down into the chair to rest, it broke into pieces!
Weedy1 was very hammered by this time, so he went upstairs to the bedroom. He lay down in the first bed, but it started spinning. Then he lay in the second bed, but it was rolling. Then he lay down in the third bed and it was just right. Weedy1 fell asleep.
As he was sleeping, the three bears came home.
"Someone's been drinking my whiskey," growled the Papa bear.
"Someone's been drinking my whiskey," said the Mama bear.
"Someone's been drinking my whiskey and they drank it all up!" cried the Baby bear.
"Someone's been sitting in my chair," growled the Papa bear.
"Someone's been sitting in my chair," said the Mama bear.
"Someone threw up in my chair and they've broken it all to pieces," cried the Baby bear.
They decided to look around some more and when they got upstairs to the bedroom, Papa bear growled, "Someone's been sleeping in my bed,"
"Someone's been sleeping in my bed, too" said the Mama bear
"Someone's threw up in my bed and he's still there!" exclaimed Baby bear.
Just then, Weedy1 woke up and saw the three bears. He screamed, "Help!" As he jumped up, he pulled out his Smith & Wesson S&W500 and blew each of the bears heads clean off. Weedy1 ran down the stairs, opened the door, and ran away into the forest. And he never returned to the home of the three bears.
THE END
(True story
)