[ramonmark]

The day the bear cubs ate all the lunch

Grandpa was in the northern Yukon on a remote lake doing some fishing and scouting. He was there for a couple days and set up camp close to where his plane was moored in the water. One of the days he needed to clean up so he decided to take a dip in the lake. The water was ice cold but he figured that he would only be in the water for a couple mins. He took his clothes off and laid them on the front seat of the plane then jumped in the water. He went for a quick swim away from the plane and when he was on his way back he noticed a couple bears emerge from the bushes. He was going to make a break for the plane so he could get out of the cold water, grab his rifle and hopefully scare them away. As he got closer he realized that the bears coming from the bushes were grizzly cubs! His first thought was, “where’s moma bear?” Oh wait there she is! She was on the pontoon of his plane investigating the weird contraption she just found. That ruined grandpas plans. He knew the lake very well and any area close to him was surrounded by steep rock banks so he couldn’t swim down shore and get to land that way. He decided to tread water quietly at a distance from the plane as to not spook the bears. He watched these little bear cubs root around in his camp causing all kinds of havoc. After eating all the fish and lunches in his cooler they decided to check out the tent. Thirty minutes of this crap went bye and he was staring to shiver. He was worried that he might be getting hypothermia if he waited any longer. He made a decision to try to get to the plane from the opposite side that momma bear was on. Then he could get into the plane and hopefully fire it up. That way the noise would scare the bears away.

He quietly made his way for the plane and when he was about 20 yards from it he took a big breathe and dove under the water. He was hoping to emerge from the water at the opposite pontoon and quietly get onto it without momma bear noticing. What he didn’t take into account was that momma bear was getting frustrated with her investigation. In her curiosity she fell off the plane in between the pontoons. As grandpa approached the plane from under water he saw a huge splash, then four legs kicking in the water. Crap that screwed his plan, again. What was he to do? Turn around and use his reaming oxygen to get him to a safe distance from the ****ed off momma bear. Or, wait it out under water and hope she decided to vacate the water and leave the plane for him to board. Grandpa could no longer feel his arms or legs so he decided for the last plan. That did not work out too well for grandpa. In the bears frustration she decided to try to get back on to the pontoon. Every attempt she made ended up making the plane move and rock in the water, this was fruitless. The water was only around 4 feet deep but she couldn’t get her stability as the plane rocked back and forth. Grandpa got to the point where he thought screw it. With his last remaining oxygen he jumped out of the water and yelled ROAR!!!!! At his point the bear was not 5 feet from grandpa and she was hanging onto his pontoon looking dumbfounded right in grandpa’s direction. To his delight the bear made a loud yelp and immediately made for shore. In grandpas excitement he forgot about his plan to board the plane and ended up taking chase. As he took pursuit he frantically yelled and screamed all kinds of profanities to his chase. He chased her to the bushes and when she disappeared he imminently stopped and yelled some more in a fit of triumph. His blood was pumping savagely and he felt very satisfied with his results. He chased a full grown grizzly away! All while he was buck naked too! He walked back to camp proud of himself.

As he approached camp he shook his head in anger at the disarray of his gear. He was about to enter his tent in search of warm blanket as he thought to himself, where the hell are those cubs? The last time he saw them they were on eyeing his tent. He decided to tip toe past the tent and make for his plane. He’d start the plane’s engines to make some noise and then get into warm clothes. No sooner than sneaking past the tent he heard a little bark like a ‘rufff’ directly behind him. He looked over his shoulder and witnessed a little bear cub half out of his tent. The cubs head cocked sideways looking directly at grandpa's ares in confusion. Grandpa thought to himself, I just chased away a full grown bear why not a cub!!? He turned around and yelled ROAR!!! This time the results were not in grandpa’s favor. The cub imminently stood up on its hind legs and roared back. To his surprise that little bugger wasn’t that little anymore. He was nearly his own height! The bear must have seen the surprise in grandpa’s eyes because it hunched back down on all fours and took chase! Grandpa turned and ran directly for his plane. As he approached the plane he quickly climbed up to the door and started to fiddle with the handle. All the while he was thinking “what the hell is going on!?” “I took chase after a full grown grizzly to only be put back to a dead run from a cub!” He managed to get into the plane and shut the door. He looked out the window and saw two bear cubs disappear into the bushes. He just laughed and thought to himself, I was just mock charged from a damn bear cub!

Here's a few titles of the others I intend to write about. I just need to talk with my family to get some more details on them:

-German luger from war and 25 auto with swastika not sure of origin.

-Messing with the bear spray while driving

-Butter container under the driver’s seat for tail gaters

-Shooting armed criminal in the bush

-Hauling frozen trapper out in front seat of plane and the royal ring