Fighting with the real boss

bloopbloob · #1 02-09-2019, 10:04 PM

What are your tactics when you, and the real boss (wife) don't get along or agree on something? Stood my ground. Couch night for this guy I'm thinking....

Jamie · #2 02-09-2019, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloopbloob

What are your tactics when you, and the real boss (wife) don't get along or agree on something? Stood my ground. Couch night for this guy I'm thinking....

Thinking its your Bed as well and if she has a problem, she can find the couch.

That being said, is she right? Is this really important? Are you happy to die on this specific hill?

Your confident in all of the above, go to bed and take control of the situation. Your not, go say sorry. Life is short and good people are rare.

sns2 · #3 02-09-2019, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloopbloob

What are your tactics when you, and the real boss (wife) don't get along or agree on something? Stood my ground. Couch night for this guy I'm thinking....

To heck with the couch. It's spare room for me all the way baby!

bloopbloob · #4 02-09-2019, 10:15 PM

Haha I'm usually (99.9%) always right. But she's the type where logical things make no difference... which is where I make my logistical stand, and end up on the couch or spare room if I disagree....
Not the first time. And spare room actually has a much better bed than we have... Just curious how often this goes on with anyone else. She's like a rattlesnake when mad...

Red Bullets · #5 02-10-2019, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloopbloob

She's like a rattlesnake when mad...

Throw her a mouse. haha

Lots of advice already.
All I can say to you Bloop is remind each other what you both felt when you first met. During the argument just add a tidbit like " Hey, remember when we first met and had such fun doing...?" Remind her and yourself why you were for each other. She will soften hopefully.

One of my aunt & uncles that were married for 75 years both said their key was they always treated each other like the day they met. With playful upbeat respect.

I was once married to a red headed Aries and arguing was a way of life with her, not just with me but anyone. She was playful as a kitten but had the attitude of a cat. Needless to say I could not endure a lifetime of her ego and divorced her. And I lived happily ever after.

My advice to the young guys is...

Get to know your woman as a person before you get to know her as an animal. It will save you a bunch of problems once the honeymoon is over.

omega50 · #6 02-09-2019, 10:16 PM

When things go really South-Invite Mtn Giant over for a sleepover.

Might make you seem more tolerable

JD848 · #7 02-09-2019, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sns2

To heck with the couch. It's spare room for me all the way baby!

x2 on that one,Best thing is make up,pour her a nice glass of wine and go to bed and be very nice to her.Then start talking to her nice and call her by your old girl friends name,then run for the spare room.haha.

HunterDave · #8 02-10-2019, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sns2

To heck with the couch. It's spare room for me all the way baby!

This made me laugh.

I choose to quietly enter the bedroom while she’s sleeping and crawl in to bed without waking her up. Once I get all settled and comfortable I let a fart rip to let her know that I’m there. If she’s that ticked off she can hit the spare bedroom if she wants. I like to allow her the independence to make her own decisions.

Smokinyotes · #9 02-10-2019, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HunterDave

This made me laugh.

I choose to quietly enter the bedroom while she’s sleeping and crawl in to bed without waking her up. Once I get all settled and comfortable I let a fart rip to let her know that I’m there. If she’s that ticked off she can hit the spare bedroom if she wants. I like to allow her the independence to make her own decisions.

I believe this is the most correct answer.

Buckhead · #10 02-10-2019, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smokinyotes

I believe this is the most correct answer.

Sure, if you want to get stabbed in your sleep.

Jack Hardin · #11 02-10-2019, 07:59 AM

You civilians were lucky, you only had one commanding officer. We in the military had two, one at home and one at work.

Smoky buck · #12 02-10-2019, 08:16 AM

I don’t know how some of you do it all this sleeping on the couch, “yes dear”, and your wife being the boss stuff. No woman is worth that kind of life to me

Yes at times I argue with my wife but it’s either hashed out in a reasonable manner or we agree to disagree

Made it clear early on in life I would not marry any woman that involve walking on eggshells or being spineless or fake for.

CaberTosser · #13 02-09-2019, 10:22 PM

So many possibilities. Sometimes I might stand my ground and later find out I was in error or just misunderstood something. Other times it turns out I've been right. More often than either of those is that we both had reasonable points and needed perspective. Often sleeping on things is best and discussing more rationally the next day when emotions have cooled.

I'm not suggesting its the case there, but for here at home we're very rarely into the booze so we've never wound up with any of those kinds of arguments where either/both parties were unreasonably mean due to being utterly smashed. When we do actually have a couple of drinks it generally tops out at 2 or three so we're never that sauced.

If you're really right on the disagreement, choose your sleeping spot of your own accord, be it the couch or the bed. If she's in the wrong don't be the one to suffer involuntarily.

troutbug · #14 02-09-2019, 10:24 PM

One thing I was taught was to never go to bed mad at each other

bloopbloob · #15 02-09-2019, 10:34 PM

Thanks all. Just wondering what everyone else may have had to deal with, and resolutions. She's a firecracker...

58thecat · #16 02-10-2019, 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by troutbug

One thing I was taught was to never go to bed mad at each other

Yup and perspective on a issue is usually first world problems that really don't matter.....

buckbrush · #17 02-10-2019, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 58thecat

perspective on a issue is usually first world problems that really don't matter.....

This.

linemanpete · #18 02-10-2019, 04:01 PM

If we disagree we rank how much we care about the subject 0-10. 0 being don’t care. Lower person backs down. Seems to work for us 15 years in.

huntinstuff · #19 02-09-2019, 10:35 PM

I do not argue. There is no value in it.
If you are sleeping on the couch, both of you are wrong.

So you win the argument but lose the girl. What did you win?

My partner and I have joined AND separate lives. Neither of us needs the other. We are together because we choose to be.

Ive come home to find men ripping up my main level carpet to prep it for hardwood. Did we talk about this? Maybe 5 years ago. Does it matter? Not to me. I like hardwood. Too often we throw our 2 cents in when we should save it for something important. Now, if you cant AFFORD hardwood, someone used poor judgement.

Its called trust. If I came home or she came over and noticed that something was added or replaced, I’d expect her to ask. And I would explain why it was the correct thing to do. Things based on need or necessity.

Now, things based on “wants” are different. She may not totally appreciate the new painting, but she recognizes it obviously means something to me (because it’s HANGING ON MY WALL). She doesn’t need to question it or debate it, because its already there. Whether she appreciates it is irrelevant because we are two different people. Pick your battles. Most are not worth fighting.

Giving details on your present dilemma will just open the door to a lot of judgement and very little substance.

Go crawl into your bed. Right beside her. If she leaves or tells you to get out, you do have a problem that needs to be addressed. Of that I’m certain

Jays toyz · #20 02-09-2019, 10:46 PM

You can either be right or you can be happy. Or something like that.

roper1 · #21 02-09-2019, 11:00 PM

Her nor most folks think you're right 99.9 %. Better to give some ground and be happy.

huntinstuff · #22 02-09-2019, 11:08 PM

You have referred to her as “like a rattlesnake” and a firecracker

There is no boss in a relationship. Just two people giving each other 100% of their abilities

If someone needs to be the boss, they should buy a dog.

warriorboy10 · #23 02-09-2019, 11:25 PM

If she’s over the age of forty, it’s my experience that there may be issues that she is trying to deal with and doesn’t understated. Hence extremely difficult to deal with and will not see it any other way no matter what you do. Most likely better off to go the other way for a while for each of you to cool off.
And if she’s mad at you then she is the one that needs to go find a place to sleep. Suckholing isn’t the answer!!
If you want to chat further pm me. Might be an eye opener. Been there!

tri777 · #24 02-10-2019, 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloopbloob

What are your tactics when you, and the wife don't get along ?"

Just slide up next to her, squeeze her a bit tight,
pause, and while still cuddling her ask:

"Can I shave those legs"?

huntinstuff · #25 02-10-2019, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tri777

just slide up next, squeeze her a bit tight,, pause,
then while softly holding her ask:

"can i shave those legs"?

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Babe, you’re my little monkey

What do you mean by that?

Uh nothing I just thought it was cute

What’s cute about a flea infested little primate that picks at its bum?

Uh, nothing. Can I pour you another vino??????? (Start texting female friend “get over here asap. Bring chips. I need you and she needs chips”)

tool · #26 02-10-2019, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloopbloob

What are your tactics when you, and the real boss (wife) don't get along or agree on something? Stood my ground. Couch night for this guy I'm thinking....

I would just withhold sex from her until the issue is resolved.

Let me know when it's ok to resume.......

bat119 · #27 02-10-2019, 10:46 AM

My wife prefers the silent treatment for our rare differences... perfect now what's on the tube

ETOWNCANUCK · #28 02-10-2019, 11:16 AM

I don’t know but as a happily divorced guy, I gladly take naps on my couch during the day and sleep in my bed at night.

Oh and if I’m ever wrong about something, usually I’m the only that knows and rarely do I get reminded.

If you are referring to your wife as boss and not partner,
Then maybe it’s time to break out of that institution.

Rockman · #29 02-10-2019, 11:30 AM

A lotta good replies, a lotta funny ones. I'll second a few: No one should be the boss, balance is very important in a satisfying relationship. Everyone is sometimes right, sometimes wrong. Have respect and confidence in both yourself and your mate, which goes hand-in-hand with really knowing yourselves, including limitations and strengths.

Important to have a life/hobbies/friends/etc outside of the relationship to some extent. Everyone needs some space and freedom.

It's a very wise approach to let things go as much as possible, let not the sun go down on your wrath, step back and consider if there's a simple misunderstanding at play and if that's really a hill to die on, etc.

Cheers!

Smokinyotes · #30 02-10-2019, 11:39 AM

Geez after reading some of these responses makes me realize how good I’ve got it. There is no boss in our house , well except maybe for the cat