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10-05-2009, 08:09 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: sherwood park
Posts: 376
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wife says no to fishing trip
Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect backwoods camping and
fishing trip.
Two days before the group is to leave Todd's wife puts her foot down
and tells him he isn't going.
Todd's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Todd
sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and fish cooking on
the fire.
"Damn man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into
letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting
in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes
and said 'guess who'?"
I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a black, brand new
see-through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The
room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. On the bed were
handcuffs and ropes!
She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said
"do what ever you want.......
So here I am."
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10-05-2009, 08:19 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 10,258
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10-05-2009, 09:04 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 50
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10-05-2009, 09:11 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Calgary
Posts: 852
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10-05-2009, 10:24 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Calgary Perchdance
Posts: 19,285
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Gotta love that one.
Usually is it not the other way around...bug her for a little furry cuddle time until she demands you do anything else...just stop bugging her?
The joke is probably based upon the premise that they are still young and in love as opposed to all the kids are here etc.
Then the joke is
Four old married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place:
First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."
Second guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."
Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."
They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him." You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"
Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Sex" and she said, "Wear sun-screen".
*************************************************
I still like:
Why fishing is better than sex....
You don't have to hide your fishing magazines.
It's perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to fish with you once in a while.
Your fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you fished with long ago.
It's perfectly respectable to fish with a total stranger.
When you see a really good fisher person, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you fishing in a boat together.
If your regular fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you fish with someone else.
Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you fish by yourself.
You can have a fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell fishing jokes, and invite co-workers to fish with you without getting sued for harassment.
There are no fishing-transmitted diseases.
If you want to watch fishing on television, you don't have to subscribe to the Playboy channel.
Nobody expects you to fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.
Your fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just fished last week! Is fishing all you ever think about?
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10-05-2009, 10:48 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundancefisher
Gotta love that one.
Usually is it not the other way around...bug her for a little furry cuddle time until she demands you do anything else...just stop bugging her?
The joke is probably based upon the premise that they are still young and in love as opposed to all the kids are here etc.
Then the joke is
Four old married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place:
First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."
Second guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."
Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."
They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him." You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"
Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Sex" and she said, "Wear sun-screen".
*************************************************
I still like:
Why fishing is better than sex....
You don't have to hide your fishing magazines.
It's perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to fish with you once in a while.
Your fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you fished with long ago.
It's perfectly respectable to fish with a total stranger.
When you see a really good fisher person, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you fishing in a boat together.
If your regular fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you fish with someone else.
Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you fish by yourself.
You can have a fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell fishing jokes, and invite co-workers to fish with you without getting sued for harassment.
There are no fishing-transmitted diseases.
If you want to watch fishing on television, you don't have to subscribe to the Playboy channel.
Nobody expects you to fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.
Your fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just fished last week! Is fishing all you ever think about?
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Both are awesome Sundance!
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10-05-2009, 11:07 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Grande Prairie
Posts: 554
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Good ones guys! Good laugh in the morning!
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10-05-2009, 11:09 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Fort Saskatchewan Ab
Posts: 8,926
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10-05-2009, 11:43 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 51
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hhahhaha
good one
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10-05-2009, 01:46 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: sherwood park
Posts: 376
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Why fishing is better than making love
* When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good
- If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad.
* Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither.
- And don't want to know how many other fish you caught.
* In fishing you lie about the one that got away.
- In loving you lie about the one you caught.
* You can catch and release a fish. You don't have to lie, and promise to still be friends after you let it go.
* You don't necessarily have to change your line to keep catching fish.
* You can catch a fish on a 20-cent frozen minnow.
- If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum.
* Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.
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10-05-2009, 06:19 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 54
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LOL a joke may be a joke but I am actually sitting here sulking cause I cant go fishing today after work lol. I was under the impression I was "allowed" to go today but she tells me she is sick and cant watch the baby by herself. I felt bad for her until I watched her scarf down dinner and start watching her favorite TV shows lol. The browns in my fishing spot have been biting like crazy to last few times lol ((( .
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10-06-2009, 07:21 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: sherwood park
Posts: 376
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One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they're fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by.
Joe then said "Gee Bob, I didn't know you had it in you!"
Bob then replies " It's the least I could do. After all I was married to her for 30 years."
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10-06-2009, 07:21 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: sherwood park
Posts: 376
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I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife...
...best trade I ever made.
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10-06-2009, 02:36 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sherwood Park
Posts: 221
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A die hard fisherman gets out of bed just like every Saturday at 5:30 to go fishing. An insane snow storm reluctantly gets him to cancel his trip and go back inside. He sneeks in and snuggles up spooned behind his wife and whispers in her year that "there is a terrible storm outside." His wife replies "ya, can you beleive my husband went fishing in this?"
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10-07-2009, 10:59 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Alberta
Posts: 1,491
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__________________
Yup, I know I'm getting old now, just heard my favorite song in the elevator.
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10-08-2009, 09:39 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 8,144
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__________________
Jay: Mostly harmless...
Time, it makes you old. Experience makes you wise. It's only a fool who judges life by what he sees in other peoples' eyes.
- Strung Out
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams
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10-09-2009, 10:50 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,152
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My wife has a good sense of humor, she gave me a poster for the garage, it says:
WANTED GOOD WOMAN
Must be able to clean, cook, sew, dig worms and
clean fish. Must have a boat and motor.
PLEASE SEND PICTURE OF BOAT AND MOTOR.
Still haven't got any calls yet.
__________________
Moosemad
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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10-09-2009, 11:07 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: North Edmonton
Posts: 6
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that sounds exactly like my plenty of fish description...
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10-09-2009, 11:41 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: sherwood park
Posts: 376
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What do fish and women have in common?
They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them !
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10-09-2009, 01:13 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 2,749
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pretty darn funny stuff, thankfully my wife let me go goose hunting tommorrow!
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10-11-2009, 05:44 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Albertas' Friendliest City
Posts: 476
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Thanks for the laughs
Thanks for the laughs...
__________________
A Good Friend told me,
Wind from the East fish bite the least, Wind from the West fish bite the best...
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10-11-2009, 09:33 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 573
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drano
Thanks for the laughs...
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thanks for the laughs.
__________________
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10-12-2009, 07:22 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Albertas' Friendliest City
Posts: 476
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Huh!!!
HUH!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by pecker
thanks for the laughs.
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__________________
A Good Friend told me,
Wind from the East fish bite the least, Wind from the West fish bite the best...
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10-15-2009, 02:31 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 235
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moosemad
My wife has a good sense of humor, she gave me a poster for the garage, it says:
WANTED GOOD WOMAN
Must be able to clean, cook, sew, dig worms and
clean fish. Must have a boat and motor.
PLEASE SEND PICTURE OF BOAT AND MOTOR.
Still haven't got any calls yet.
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love this.. i have on the door of my shed at lake. she hates it.
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10-19-2009, 03:53 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Sylvan
Posts: 569
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OK just one more...and on our anniversary no less..
Two men are out ice fishing at their favourite fishing hole, fishing quietly and drinking beer...
Almost silently so as not to scare the fish Bob says " I think I am gonna divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in over two months"
Earl continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says...
" You better think it over Bob, women like that are hard to find"
Happy 18th anniversary Katie....
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10-19-2009, 05:26 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 213
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gross
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10-20-2009, 02:18 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: sherwood park
Posts: 376
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Fishing Prayer
Fishing Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep,
A box of tackle at my feet...
My rod and reel perched by the door,
My hip waders on the floor,
My trophy hung above my head...
My minnow bucket beside the bed,
My raincoat on the bedpost,
And visions of catching the most.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray, dear Lord, it's some mistake...
For I just know that the next day,
I'll catch the one that got away.
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10-21-2009, 09:09 AM
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Banned
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: slave lake
Posts: 4,221
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hockeyfish
gross
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?????
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10-23-2009, 09:55 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 213
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Quote:
Originally Posted by floppychicken
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eeeaaasssyy
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10-23-2009, 10:13 PM
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calgary
Posts: 11,576
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I too have had wife problems. The first one left me and the second one DIDN'T!
(not my quote)
Tree
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