Fighting with the real boss

bloopbloob · #1 02-09-2019, 10:04 PM

What are your tactics when you, and the real boss (wife) don't get along or agree on something? Stood my ground. Couch night for this guy I'm thinking....

Jamie · #2 02-09-2019, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloopbloob

What are your tactics when you, and the real boss (wife) don't get along or agree on something? Stood my ground. Couch night for this guy I'm thinking....

Thinking its your Bed as well and if she has a problem, she can find the couch.

That being said, is she right? Is this really important? Are you happy to die on this specific hill?

Your confident in all of the above, go to bed and take control of the situation. Your not, go say sorry. Life is short and good people are rare.

sns2 · #3 02-09-2019, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloopbloob

What are your tactics when you, and the real boss (wife) don't get along or agree on something? Stood my ground. Couch night for this guy I'm thinking....

To heck with the couch. It's spare room for me all the way baby!

bloopbloob · #4 02-09-2019, 10:15 PM

Haha I'm usually (99.9%) always right. But she's the type where logical things make no difference... which is where I make my logistical stand, and end up on the couch or spare room if I disagree....
Not the first time. And spare room actually has a much better bed than we have... Just curious how often this goes on with anyone else. She's like a rattlesnake when mad...

omega50 · #5 02-09-2019, 10:16 PM

When things go really South-Invite Mtn Giant over for a sleepover.

Might make you seem more tolerable

JD848 · #6 02-09-2019, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sns2

To heck with the couch. It's spare room for me all the way baby!

x2 on that one,Best thing is make up,pour her a nice glass of wine and go to bed and be very nice to her.Then start talking to her nice and call her by your old girl friends name,then run for the spare room.haha.

CaberTosser · #7 02-09-2019, 10:22 PM

So many possibilities. Sometimes I might stand my ground and later find out I was in error or just misunderstood something. Other times it turns out I've been right. More often than either of those is that we both had reasonable points and needed perspective. Often sleeping on things is best and discussing more rationally the next day when emotions have cooled.

I'm not suggesting its the case there, but for here at home we're very rarely into the booze so we've never wound up with any of those kinds of arguments where either/both parties were unreasonably mean due to being utterly smashed. When we do actually have a couple of drinks it generally tops out at 2 or three so we're never that sauced.

If you're really right on the disagreement, choose your sleeping spot of your own accord, be it the couch or the bed. If she's in the wrong don't be the one to suffer involuntarily.

troutbug · #8 02-09-2019, 10:24 PM

One thing I was taught was to never go to bed mad at each other

bloopbloob · #9 02-09-2019, 10:34 PM

Thanks all. Just wondering what everyone else may have had to deal with, and resolutions. She's a firecracker...

huntinstuff · #10 02-09-2019, 10:35 PM

I do not argue. There is no value in it.
If you are sleeping on the couch, both of you are wrong.

So you win the argument but lose the girl. What did you win?

My partner and I have joined AND separate lives. Neither of us needs the other. We are together because we choose to be.

Ive come home to find men ripping up my main level carpet to prep it for hardwood. Did we talk about this? Maybe 5 years ago. Does it matter? Not to me. I like hardwood. Too often we throw our 2 cents in when we should save it for something important. Now, if you cant AFFORD hardwood, someone used poor judgement.

Its called trust. If I came home or she came over and noticed that something was added or replaced, I’d expect her to ask. And I would explain why it was the correct thing to do. Things based on need or necessity.

Now, things based on “wants” are different. She may not totally appreciate the new painting, but she recognizes it obviously means something to me (because it’s HANGING ON MY WALL). She doesn’t need to question it or debate it, because its already there. Whether she appreciates it is irrelevant because we are two different people. Pick your battles. Most are not worth fighting.

Giving details on your present dilemma will just open the door to a lot of judgement and very little substance.

Go crawl into your bed. Right beside her. If she leaves or tells you to get out, you do have a problem that needs to be addressed. Of that I’m certain

Jays toyz · #11 02-09-2019, 10:46 PM

You can either be right or you can be happy. Or something like that.

roper1 · #12 02-09-2019, 11:00 PM

Her nor most folks think you're right 99.9 %. Better to give some ground and be happy.

huntinstuff · #13 02-09-2019, 11:08 PM

You have referred to her as “like a rattlesnake” and a firecracker

There is no boss in a relationship. Just two people giving each other 100% of their abilities

If someone needs to be the boss, they should buy a dog.

Twisted Canuck · #14 02-09-2019, 11:19 PM

As I've gotten older, I find fewer and fewer hills I want to die on. I don't bother arguing. Usually. Maybe in the morning I will realize I was wrong. Maybe she will. Either way, after 27 years we don't seem to get nearly as bothered by things.

My mom was one who always had to be right. Haven't talked to her in years. No point.

Being 'right' is over rated.

So, what painting did you hang on the wall huntinstuff? We both love art here, have a nice little collection too...

Jamie · #15 02-09-2019, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck

So, what painting did you hang on the wall huntinstuff? We both love art here, have a nice little collection too...

Velvet Elvis of course.... Right beside "Dogs playing poker"

;-)

warriorboy10 · #16 02-09-2019, 11:25 PM

If she’s over the age of forty, it’s my experience that there may be issues that she is trying to deal with and doesn’t understated. Hence extremely difficult to deal with and will not see it any other way no matter what you do. Most likely better off to go the other way for a while for each of you to cool off.
And if she’s mad at you then she is the one that needs to go find a place to sleep. Suckholing isn’t the answer!!
If you want to chat further pm me. Might be an eye opener. Been there!

huntwat · #17 02-09-2019, 11:30 PM

If you're taking advice, make sure its from someone that is happily married.
Advice from those that aren't, or have been separated or divorced, may not be what you're looking for.
I've been happily married for 34 years. Its way better to say yes dear, than be right.

Have never had a disagreement in 34 years.

huntinstuff · #18 02-09-2019, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck

As I've gotten older, I find fewer and fewer hills I want to die on. I don't bother arguing. Usually. Maybe in the morning I will realize I was wrong. Maybe she will. Either way, after 27 years we don't seem to get nearly as bothered by things.

My mom was one who always had to be right. Haven't talked to her in years. No point.

Being 'right' is over rated.

So, what painting did you hang on the wall huntinstuff? We both love art here, have a nice little collection too...

Lol. For years I wanted a print of Carl Brenders “Companions”. There were over 18,000+ Original prints. I wanted one but i wanted it to be special. Then they brought out the Giclee. I thot blah.

For probably 20 years my partner offered to buy one. Id look but something always held me back

I found 4/56 of Brenders artist proof for this work in a Boston gallery. It’s mine now. Patience paid off.

JD848 · #19 02-09-2019, 11:43 PM

My wife doesn't need me and I don't need her after 35 we sometimes disagree on certain things,but 15 minutes later it's not that important and after 35 years we realized a long time ago were not the same.

If she likes something I respect her thought's,it might not be my thing like the color of the walls or showing up with a new set of wheels or whatever.I have never looked at my wifes check stub in my life,if she needs something we work it out.I see the end result at tax time,so who cares about a check.

The sexiest thing in a woman is one that is very independent ,smart and doesn't worry about me and I don't worry about her,solid trust to the core.

If there's solid trust ,then every thing else just comes into play without fighting.If I dropped dead tonight I would know my wife could still live a happy live and that's what I would want,no if's what or but's.

I would be one sad bugger if I lost her from this earth,but we both realize that day will come so life is to short for name calling and fighting.

We do plan things like are retirement and so on and the only time I leave the bedroom is if she say's I am snoring to loud .

JD848 · #20 02-09-2019, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

You have referred to her as “like a rattlesnake” and a firecracker

There is no boss in a relationship. Just two people giving each other 100% of their abilities

If someone needs to be the boss, they should buy a dog.

x100

huntinstuff · #21 02-09-2019, 11:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JD848

My wife doesn't need me and I don't need her after 35 we sometimes we disagree on certain things,but 15 minutes later it's not that important and after 35 years we realized a long time ago were not the same.

If she likes something I respect her thought's,it might not be my thing like the color of the walls or showing up with a new set of wheels or whatever.I have never looked at my wifes check stub in my life,if she needs something we work it out.I see the end result at tax time,so who cares about a check.

The sexiest thing in a woman is one that is very independent ,smart and doesn't worry about me and I don't worry about her,solid trust to the core.

If there's solid trust ,then every thing else just comes into play without fighting.If I dropped dead tonight I would know my wife could still live a happy live and that's what I would want,no if's what or but's.

I would be one sad bugger if I lost her from this earth,but we both realize that day will come so life is to short for name calling and fighting.

We do plan things like are retirement and so on and the only time I leave the bedroom is if she say's I am snoring to loud .

Omg. Perfectly said.

My female friends are all independent, intelligent and emotionally stable. Extremely attractive. They LIKE the fact that its a “man’s world “ in business. Stephanie used to say that it just gives her more balls to kick. Now THATS confidence.

Now if I could only find men for them. Its difficult. I find a lot of guys are intimidated. It’s unfortunate.

calgarychef · #22 02-10-2019, 12:00 AM

I ain’t an expert on women but I know that going to bed mad means nobody sleeps.

Make up/man up ...whatever....then crawl into bed together and get some sleep.

tri777 · #23 02-10-2019, 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloopbloob

What are your tactics when you, and the wife don't get along ?"

Just slide up next to her, squeeze her a bit tight,
pause, and while still cuddling her ask:

"Can I shave those legs"?

huntinstuff · #24 02-10-2019, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tri777

just slide up next, squeeze her a bit tight,, pause,
then while softly holding her ask:

"can i shave those legs"?

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Babe, you’re my little monkey

What do you mean by that?

Uh nothing I just thought it was cute

What’s cute about a flea infested little primate that picks at its bum?

Uh, nothing. Can I pour you another vino??????? (Start texting female friend “get over here asap. Bring chips. I need you and she needs chips”)

HunterDave · #25 02-10-2019, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sns2

To heck with the couch. It's spare room for me all the way baby!

This made me laugh.

I choose to quietly enter the bedroom while she’s sleeping and crawl in to bed without waking her up. Once I get all settled and comfortable I let a fart rip to let her know that I’m there. If she’s that ticked off she can hit the spare bedroom if she wants. I like to allow her the independence to make her own decisions.

Jays toyz · #26 02-10-2019, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by huntwat

Have never had a disagreement in 34 years.

That does not sound healthy at all, but your 34 years seems to disprove that.
I have had some good arguments with my wife in our 30 years but never has either of said the hateful stuff you can't take back. She puts up with my immaturity and I... well I get the better end of the bargin I suppose. It may have been cute as teens but as we grey it may be wearing a bit thin.

Smokinyotes · #27 02-10-2019, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HunterDave

This made me laugh.

I choose to quietly enter the bedroom while she’s sleeping and crawl in to bed without waking her up. Once I get all settled and comfortable I let a fart rip to let her know that I’m there. If she’s that ticked off she can hit the spare bedroom if she wants. I like to allow her the independence to make her own decisions.

I believe this is the most correct answer.