do I cut ties with a friend for 10 years?

[MountainTi]

Yes

[Pheasantchaser]

Originally Posted by Albertadiver

Politics aside. My 'spare' time is very valuable to me, and any vacation time I get or time outside of having to be at work is a big deal to me.

I don't have time to waste on people that are going to bring negativity to my life. Call me selfish, and I'm ok with that.

I have a fair number of people I would call acquaintances, that I'll go for a coffee with, or spend a dinner etc. Stay on friendly terms, chat over texts and a bit of social media, stuff like that. Maybe go fishing or on a hike or something like that.

I don't have a lot of close friends, and the ones I do have have been through thick and thin with each other for decades plus. Many of us were in each other's wedding parties etc. Now we're at the age where that was around the 20 year range ago for us and we can always depend on each other for whatever comes up.

So, I guess what I'm saying is that for the OP if you truly get heartburn whenever you're around this person and his spouse, why continue to force something when it sounds like both couples would probably be happier hanging out in different circles?

X2

[KGB]

Cut him off fast! Life is too short to waste it dealing with idiots. You will be better off without him, you will find another friend. Take me, I’m a super hard core conservative, carded for both provincial and federal parties….
Do you remember the movie Others people money with Danny DeVitto? What he said at the shareholders meeting? “I am not your friend, I am your ONLY friend!”

[59whiskers]

Lots of long time family relations and friendship's were tested to the limit on opinions of Covid Vaccination Status. Covid topic caused lots of division and some hard feeling continue to linger. Found out quickly if you were acceptable or not.

[traderal]

We are all getting there and for many of us life is getting short. Covid and our gov't leaders have all contributed to a very polarizing climate. I choose to spend more time with my dogs.

[jetboat175]

This guy sounds a bit weird, moving forward I would suggest you remain friends at a distance and look at getting him castrated to protect future generations.

[elkhunter11]

I go on vacation to relax and enjoy myself, not to add stress to my life. He would be gone.

[W921]

A wife of a friend hates Trump with all her heart. I'm not really a fan of trump so I never said much but then she got going on Danielle Smith. In a nice way I tried to explain why I agreed with Danielle Smith and I went as far to tell her that because I didn't agree with her in politics does not mean that I don't like her. I was willing to be friends but her not so much. Very distant now but I'm perfectly fine with it.
She is a nice person who is kind hearted and well !meaning. Just not very tolerant of anyone who does not agree with her.

[Moe]

Cut ties, who needs the stress. Life is too short. I'm a middle road kind of guy and I have no friends to the far left or the far right. Covid and social media has made it worse. Some people really went down the rabbit hole with this stuff. I don't need it, I don't want it and I won't do it.

[GrandSlam]

Yeah, not worth dealing with a-holes. Lots of better people out there.

[Hunter5425]

A couple of years ago I cut loose a friend oh 30 years as he became insufferably left leaning and P-whipped. His wife always disliked my wife and I to the point we were specifically not invited to his kid's weddings ( his daughter is a loony left). He eventually wanted to cut another guy from our hunting group as he is an outspoken fella who admittedly lacks much of a filter but is an honest loyal friend so we went our separate ways.

[LeroyvdH]

Cut him loose. You don't this bs. I cut someone loose 10 years ago, didn't need him around me.

[Ronji]

I was in a very similar problem.

Known the guy for 30 years.
Worked together for a number of years.
Grew up with his wife since we were 12.
Out daughters grew up together.
Took family vacations together.

I used to tolerate his attitude, grumpiness and ideas.

Then one day he blew a gasket at my wife and I. Questioning everything we did.

Haven's spoke in a 18 months. I don't regret it.

Life is way to short to be angry at everything.

[waldedw]

Yup been there done that, had to cut a guy loose from our hunting group about 5 years ago, have know him for 40 years, worked with him, hunted, played senior hockey with him, sledded with him, he just got belligerent, nobody in our group wanted to be around him, had a long chat with him but he didn't change so just said sorry bud your out, it happens.

[Mb-MBR]

Yup, if you have to ask then you know the answer. I parted ways with a very close friend of 35 years, he turned into a right wing lunatic...: scared0018:

[Engels]

Originally Posted by Cement Bench

background
met him & wife 11 years ago to go on a 3 hour car cruise to west of rocky mtn house
we did this the next year and decided to do it annually with a couple of,other folks to spread the word

it is now a week long cruise with 2 of us planning, booking hotel rooms and booking stops for entertainment purposes (last year we took on 2 more good guys)

we have a Facebook page and for the last 6 years did a lottery draw for the 30 places or spots on the week long car cruise as we have over 60 entries and 25 spots not taken but 4 organizers and 1 photographer couple

He has become a left loonie and his unemployed wife even more so

we don’t talk much politics as he hates ALMOST everything I believe in
he is a dipper or socialist really left leaning

with the 2 wars discussion he is getting even more radical

he had to go to a shrink for his stress after visiting a car website that has a political forum on a USA site

nice enough guy but I find myself becoming less willing to put up with his ideas,

he will not listen to ideas that don’t fit the cnn main-stream-media narrative

he is not a gun guy so won’t be on this site

I feel like quitting the group cruise as finding myself not wishing to spend time with individuals that will not rationally discuss important topics, and will not read or watch short under 10 minute podcasts or coverage of events to SHOW IN REAL TIME WHAT WAS SAID so there can be no spin on the facts

there are a few GOA employees of spouses that don’t talk to me anymore along,the same lines, just quote cnn headlines

with the law fare in the usa, with the lack of reason in todays world
example the 4 million bucks Trudeau spending on land mine clearing only if they are used by DEI groups the world is a mess

I enjoy reading actual coverage and commentary like victor david Jansen to form opinions on the world of today

do I just punt this guy or hide my distain for his lunacy

or check myself into a nut house for a month?

NOT asking for a friend

Thoughts without going into politics so the thread gets cancelled

seriously posed questions, how do you handle these life events

I think you know the answer to this one.

[Groundhogger]

Originally Posted by Ronji

I was in a very similar problem.

Known the guy for 30 years.
Worked together for a number of years.
Grew up with his wife since we were 12.
Out daughters grew up together.
Took family vacations together.

I used to tolerate his attitude, grumpiness and ideas.

Then one day he blew a gasket at my wife and I. Questioning everything we did.

Haven's spoke in a 18 months. I don't regret it.

Life is way to short to be angry at everything.

Originally Posted by waldedw

Yup been there done that, had to cut a guy loose from our hunting group about 5 years ago, have know him for 40 years, worked with him, hunted, played senior hockey with him, sledded with him, he just got belligerent, nobody in our group wanted to be around him, had a long chat with him but he didn't change so just said sorry bud your out, it happens.

^sounds awfully familiar.

Didn't think I'd circle back to this thread but glad I did. Some great comments about friends vs. acquaintances. Going to take some of that to heart. I don't question the question (like someone else did) but sometimes it sucks to realize you're old enough to have seen some of your best friends (real friends) pass away. I keep hunting photos of my closest friend in my phone, haven't deleted his contact, and only lost my last voice mail from him when I switched phones. Guess when I take a step back, he was the kind of friend anyone would like to have had. Miss that guy everyday, seldom think about the fellow I mentioned in my earlier post.

Great conversation, thanks to the OP.

[densa44]

Do what you want. Just a caution, make sure that its not you moving farther to the right.

IMO the politicians are more like one another than they are like us. They will say anything that they think will get them elected.

[Map Maker]

Anyone with one sided strong opinions on politics or religion is never more than an acquaintance.

[barsik]

Originally Posted by Dean2

Cannot believe this is a serious question. I am quite open minded and very tolerant. I have acquaintances that are right wing, centre and left wing. My close friends tend to be centre or right leaning. What I don't have is anyone I spend time with.that are closed minded, and unwilling to see other perspectives. An inability to tolerate other points of view means they are true bigots, of small intellect, thus completely uninteresting and no fun to be around. I also don't wish to be seen to be associated with people who act that way. Lie down with dogs, you end up with fleas.

great post dean. this coming from a guy that owns a few AR15 rifles and also BP flintlocks.

[lmtada]

Originally Posted by W921

A wife of a friend hates Trump with all her heart. I'm not really a fan of trump so I never said much but then she got going on Danielle Smith. In a nice way I tried to explain why I agreed with Danielle Smith and I went as far to tell her that because I didn't agree with her in politics does not mean that I don't like her. I was willing to be friends but her not so much. Very distant now but I'm perfectly fine with it.
She is a nice person who is kind hearted and well !meaning. Just not very tolerant of anyone who does not agree with her.

Sounds like my mother. We are 180 degrees apart. Makes for interesting conversations…

[Backwoods Runner]

Please don’t invite him to the Groundhog Shoot. Might not end well.
Seriously. Punt him and don’t look back.

[Battle Rat]

Are you drunk and looking for attention?

[Knotter]

Originally Posted by Map Maker

Anyone with one sided strong opinions on politics or religion is never more than an acquaintance.

Intolerance and lack of empathy spell doom to friendship. I'm secure enough in my own worldview that I dont need to have friends that only think like me. Could you describe your friends views in a way that does not attack them personally?

[JD848]

Originally Posted by Battle Rat

Are you drunk and looking for attention?

Damn did I laugh at this post ,your priceless, but you must be very close to the truth???

Very odd thing to ask , plus there isn't a swinging dick that hasn't had some hammer headed friend. Everything has an expiry date including some friends .

.Cheers JD

[elkhunter11]

There are friends, and there are acquaintances, when you are with a true friend, you may not agree on everything, but you can be comfortable just being yourself. If you feel like you have to act differently around someone, for fear of offending them, or if their actions or words make you uncomfortable, and you don't enjoy their company, they aren't a true friend. I have had to bite my tongue around certain people, and tolerate views that I find offensive at work ,or in certain social situations, but I won't intentionally put myself in that situation, when I have the choice of who I spend my vacations with. When I am on vacation, I will choose to be around people who I enjoy being around.

[Ackleyman]

You know the feeling pretty quick when you find yourself tippy toeing around someone so they are not offended. No one likes confrontations. Sounds like your there. Either tell him to get lost or hit him over the head with a shovel.

[Fish along]

I know from my past experiences that true friends are very hard to come by,i can easily count them on one hand. I just had an old friend bring me some fish from anther province, i payed him good money for his service but the fish was old and some of it was tainted in fact it was probably taken from his freezer and i had specifcaly asked for fresh, i hadnt known about this until he had gone. A friend wouldnt do this, lesson learned.GOOD BYE.

[BuckCuller]

I don’t generally choose my friends by politics but rather how they treat me. If he treats you like a lesser than, while you are in conversation it’s time to move on.
I choose my friends by different means. I ask myself if I was fighting for my life would my friend be right there beside me or if I were to go to jail would my friend be right there beside me in the cell.
I don’t have that many friends but the friends I do have are very loyal.

Good luck with whatever decision you make.

[traderal]

Everyone is different in their approach to life. In my case only having one vacation a year we chose to have a time to ourselves, to relax, discuss the future, see some new opportunities along the way in case we had to relocate for jobs, etc. We also ended up meeting other people some of whom we stayed in touch with (except the biker gang peeps that helped us with vehicle repairs, lol). Just like on here, people have already made up their minds on what they choose to believe, but at the end of the day you can turn off your keyboard.