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  #61  
Old 10-30-2020, 08:42 AM
AndrewM AndrewM is offline
 
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Originally Posted by amosfella View Post
The problem is the throw away and I deserve better attitude of my generation. If her friends who are unhappy convince her that she deserves better, she's gone, and you're left holding the bag.

As far as I can see, if the problems that come from losing half of everything is removed, one can enjoy life a lot better. Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.

In my situation, I've seen more than a couple of cases where a girl marries a guy who is to inherit a large set of assets, eg., a farm, profitable company or business, etc., she sticks around til a few years after he gets it, and she splits, and he generally loses half of that inheritance plus having to sell more of the assets off to pay for lawyers. Whether that's due to poor lawyers or bad judges is unclear. I know of more than a few cases where this has happened. I know 3 personally. It's interesting that this pattern seems to crop up around 3 years after the guy has gotten the assets in his name.

With most intergenerational transfers of farms being done by 'purchase' rather than by a traditional will to skirt the tax laws, the property is considered property acquired during the marriage, and therefore up for grabs. Even if she never contributed a dime to the purchase.

In fact, I kicked one girl out who was trying to convince me to buy my parents out, and for me to marry her. I walked in on her having a conversation with one of her friends on the phone discussing how if she could convince me to do that, she'd have hit the lottery jackpot, and be able to take millions. I was sneaking into the house to surprise her, heard her on the phone, and stopped to listen when the conversation seemed to be about me on her plans for me.

That made me incredibly wary as I thought she was a good girl, and she never asked for what I considered to be too much. The rules are different when the game has higher stakes.

Now, I'm glad that you have the life I dream about. However, I haven't dated any girls that after a short while start showing a nature that I don't want in my life. Example, a girl I went out with for a very short while told me that she couldn't wait for her 'adopted' father to die so that she can sell the place, and get something more suited to her "status". Her 'father' had told me that he wanted to leave that property to his blood son. That was the end of that very quickly. But I'm glad you found someone that works well in your life.
Keep looking bud. There are good women out there. Plenty of terrible ones too but they say the same about us!
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  #62  
Old 10-30-2020, 08:50 AM
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MoFugger21 MoFugger21 is offline
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Southern Alberta
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Quick derail - for those who are currently paying spousal support via court order or written agreement, make sure register that agreement with CRA in order to use the support payments (spousal only, not child support) as a deduction on you tax return. Just make sure you keep up to date on your payments.

https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-age...agreement.html

/end derail
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  #63  
Old 10-30-2020, 10:43 AM
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boone052 boone052 is offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: In the County
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A couple of my thoughts having been through this:

- You will pay based on the differences in incomes and as of last year's income tax information.

- When income tax information is exchanged again in the spring 0f 2021, the payments will be set again for another year.

- There is no legal agreement, even if agreed to by both parties, that can supersede this. Even if your ex-partner agrees to a different monthly amount, the original guidelines would be enforceable as no agreement can overrule them, and can be enforced to top up payments up to 5 years in the past.

Also, everyone seems to think it's only evil women who suck money out of good, decent heard-working men's accounts. I have seen the opposite happen several times; instances of men working for their brother, getting paid under the table, and then claiming very little income and going back to their ex-wife for child support. One poor lady I knew had this happen to her as her ex worked 2 jobs for his family, demanded child support, treated her children poorly, and used them against her. She worked 2 jobs, spoke very little English, and couldn't see her kids as much as she wanted because of her working 70 hours a week. It was heartbreaking.

Divorce can make people turn ugly real fast. My advice to anyone going through it is to be as amicable as you can, don't ever bad-mouth your ex to your kids, be the better person and turn the other cheek, and to get a pre-nuptial agreement before getting married again to protect yourself as much as possible!
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"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

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"And we'll drink but not to forget
But to remember instead
All our happy years"

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  #64  
Old 10-30-2020, 10:47 AM
AndrewM AndrewM is offline
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: NW Calgary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boone052 View Post
A couple of my thoughts having been through this:

- You will pay based on the differences in incomes and as of last year's income tax information.

- When income tax information is exchanged again in the spring 0f 2021, the payments will be set again for another year.

- There is no legal agreement, even if agreed to by both parties, that can supersede this. Even if your ex-partner agrees to a different monthly amount, the original guidelines would be enforceable as no agreement can overrule them, and can be enforced to top up payments up to 5 years in the past.

Also, everyone seems to think it's only evil women who suck money out of good, decent heard-working men's accounts. I have seen the opposite happen several times; instances of men working for their brother, getting paid under the table, and then claiming very little income and going back to their ex-wife for child support. One poor lady I knew had this happen to her as her ex worked 2 jobs for his family, demanded child support, treated her children poorly, and used them against her. She worked 2 jobs, spoke very little English, and couldn't see her kids as much as she wanted because of her working 70 hours a week. It was heartbreaking.

Divorce can make people turn ugly real fast. My advice to anyone going through it is to be as amicable as you can, don't ever bad-mouth your ex to your kids, be the better person and turn the other cheek, and to get a pre-nuptial agreement before getting married again to protect yourself as much as possible!
Well said. Deadbeat dads exist and are more than willing to work the system. Every decision should be around what is best for the kids. Adults can handle their feelings. Kids cannot. Time to be adults.
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  #65  
Old 10-30-2020, 11:33 AM
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Stinky Buffalo Stinky Buffalo is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KegRiver View Post
I made two mistakes. First was marrying a woman with emotional issues.
Second was trying to do right by our children without a court order.

Wound up on fixed payments that could not be appealed.

I learned my lesson and chose wisely the second time around.

There are some incredible women in the world, you just have to learn to think with your head instead of your gonads.

Remember, looks fade, a nasty personality only gets worse.
Well said, Keg.

Reminds me of what a very wise man told me, years ago:

"Marry your second wife first"

So far, so good for me!

Some of my friends haven't been so lucky. Most recently, my friend went through a situation like AmosFella was saying - I think his (now ex) wife listened to her friends too much.
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