wife says no to fishing trip

PoorTurtle · #1 10-05-2009, 08:09 AM

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect backwoods camping and
fishing trip.

Two days before the group is to leave Todd's wife puts her foot down
and tells him he isn't going.

Todd's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Todd
sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and fish cooking on
the fire.

"Damn man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into
letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting
in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes
and said 'guess who'?"

I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a black, brand new
see-through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The
room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. On the bed were
handcuffs and ropes!

She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said
"do what ever you want.......

So here I am."

Albertadiver · #2 10-05-2009, 08:19 AM

Skyhoof · #3 10-05-2009, 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Albertadiver

X2

floppychicken · #4 10-05-2009, 09:11 AM

BAWAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAH......

( "Ack, hack, hack.." Friggin' Coffee EVERYWHERE ! LOL..... )

Sundancefisher · #5 10-05-2009, 10:24 AM

Gotta love that one.

Usually is it not the other way around...bug her for a little furry cuddle time until she demands you do anything else...just stop bugging her?

The joke is probably based upon the premise that they are still young and in love

as opposed to all the kids are here etc.

Then the joke is

Four old married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place:
First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."
Second guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."
Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."
They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him." You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"
Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Sex" and she said, "Wear sun-screen".

*************************************************
I still like:

Why fishing is better than sex....

You don't have to hide your fishing magazines.

It's perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to fish with you once in a while.

Your fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you fished with long ago.

It's perfectly respectable to fish with a total stranger.

When you see a really good fisher person, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you fishing in a boat together.

If your regular fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you fish with someone else.

Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you fish by yourself.

You can have a fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell fishing jokes, and invite co-workers to fish with you without getting sued for harassment.

There are no fishing-transmitted diseases.

If you want to watch fishing on television, you don't have to subscribe to the Playboy channel.

Nobody expects you to fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.

Your fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just fished last week! Is fishing all you ever think about?

Skyhoof · #6 10-05-2009, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundancefisher

Gotta love that one.

Usually is it not the other way around...bug her for a little furry cuddle time until she demands you do anything else...just stop bugging her?

The joke is probably based upon the premise that they are still young and in love

as opposed to all the kids are here etc.

Then the joke is

Four old married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place:
First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."
Second guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."
Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."
They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him." You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"
Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Sex" and she said, "Wear sun-screen".

*************************************************
I still like:

Why fishing is better than sex....

You don't have to hide your fishing magazines.

It's perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to fish with you once in a while.

Your fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you fished with long ago.

It's perfectly respectable to fish with a total stranger.

When you see a really good fisher person, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you fishing in a boat together.

If your regular fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you fish with someone else.

Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you fish by yourself.

You can have a fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell fishing jokes, and invite co-workers to fish with you without getting sued for harassment.

There are no fishing-transmitted diseases.

If you want to watch fishing on television, you don't have to subscribe to the Playboy channel.

Nobody expects you to fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.

Your fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just fished last week! Is fishing all you ever think about?

Both are awesome Sundance!

Joe Fehr · #7 10-05-2009, 11:07 AM

Good ones guys! Good laugh in the morning!

BBJTKLE&FISHINGADVENTURES · #8 10-05-2009, 11:09 AM

Thats a gooder definitely ,

God help me ever find a women who told me when I can or cant be out in the outdoors , because all of a sudden it would doing as the song states , shed be gone by noon and im gonna miss her .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8O3Plt8DyMk

Big fish · #9 10-05-2009, 11:43 AM

good one

PoorTurtle · #10 10-05-2009, 01:46 PM

Why fishing is better than making love

* When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good
- If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad.

* Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither.
- And don't want to know how many other fish you caught.

* In fishing you lie about the one that got away.
- In loving you lie about the one you caught.

* You can catch and release a fish. You don't have to lie, and promise to still be friends after you let it go.

* You don't necessarily have to change your line to keep catching fish.

* You can catch a fish on a 20-cent frozen minnow.
- If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum.

* Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.

slickinfinite · #11 10-05-2009, 06:19 PM

LOL a joke may be a joke but I am actually sitting here sulking cause I cant go fishing today after work lol. I was under the impression I was "allowed" to go today but she tells me she is sick and cant watch the baby by herself. I felt bad for her until I watched her scarf down dinner and start watching her favorite TV shows lol. The browns in my fishing spot have been biting like crazy to last few times lol (((

.

PoorTurtle · #12 10-06-2009, 07:21 AM

One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they're fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by.

Joe then said "Gee Bob, I didn't know you had it in you!"

Bob then replies " It's the least I could do. After all I was married to her for 30 years."

PoorTurtle · #13 10-06-2009, 07:21 AM

I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife...

...best trade I ever made.

Heron · #14 10-06-2009, 02:36 PM

A die hard fisherman gets out of bed just like every Saturday at 5:30 to go fishing. An insane snow storm reluctantly gets him to cancel his trip and go back inside. He sneeks in and snuggles up spooned behind his wife and whispers in her year that "there is a terrible storm outside." His wife replies "ya, can you beleive my husband went fishing in this?"

flygirrl · #15 10-07-2009, 10:59 AM

Geezle · #16 10-08-2009, 09:39 PM

Ahahaha...some good ones guys...not what I expected when I clicked on this thread at all!

moosemad · #17 10-09-2009, 10:50 AM

My wife has a good sense of humor, she gave me a poster for the garage, it says:

WANTED GOOD WOMAN

Must be able to clean, cook, sew, dig worms and
clean fish. Must have a boat and motor.

PLEASE SEND PICTURE OF BOAT AND MOTOR.

Still haven't got any calls yet.

armyLineman · #18 10-09-2009, 11:07 AM

that sounds exactly like my plenty of fish description...

PoorTurtle · #19 10-09-2009, 11:41 AM

What do fish and women have in common?

They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them !

timsesink · #20 10-09-2009, 01:13 PM

pretty darn funny stuff, thankfully my wife let me go goose hunting tommorrow!

Drano · #21 10-11-2009, 05:44 AM

Thanks for the laughs...

pecker · #22 10-11-2009, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drano

Thanks for the laughs...

thanks for the laughs.

Drano · #23 10-12-2009, 07:22 AM

HUH!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by pecker

thanks for the laughs.

Jayball · #24 10-15-2009, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by moosemad

My wife has a good sense of humor, she gave me a poster for the garage, it says:

WANTED GOOD WOMAN

Must be able to clean, cook, sew, dig worms and
clean fish. Must have a boat and motor.

PLEASE SEND PICTURE OF BOAT AND MOTOR.

Still haven't got any calls yet.

love this.. i have on the door of my shed at lake. she hates it.

skain11 · #25 10-19-2009, 03:53 PM

OK just one more...and on our anniversary no less..

Two men are out ice fishing at their favourite fishing hole, fishing quietly and drinking beer...

Almost silently so as not to scare the fish Bob says " I think I am gonna divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in over two months"

Earl continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says...
" You better think it over Bob, women like that are hard to find"

Happy 18th anniversary Katie....

hockeyfish · #26 10-19-2009, 05:26 PM

gross

PoorTurtle · #27 10-20-2009, 02:18 PM

Fishing Prayer
Fishing Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep,
A box of tackle at my feet...
My rod and reel perched by the door,
My hip waders on the floor,

My trophy hung above my head...
My minnow bucket beside the bed,
My raincoat on the bedpost,
And visions of catching the most.

If I should die before I wake,
I pray, dear Lord, it's some mistake...
For I just know that the next day,
I'll catch the one that got away.