So sad and ****ed at the same time

[Tbutler]

So went to pick my little girl up from per-school and she is so sad . All the grils in here class is invited to a b-day party and she is not( first time was a few weeks ago was bad but twice) She asked why don't they like me? Hard to answer to a 5year old little girl. So I don't hang out with all the people near her do my wife. I don't trust a lot of people any more. Burned to much. But come on to invite every other little girl but one. What the hell is wrong with people she is little and already gota learn how people are ducks. If its like this that young what's it gona be like in another 10 years.

[huntin]

it probably wont be that bad she will make her own friends even if you cant. kids are innocient. your daughter didnt get invited because of you and your wife by the sounds of it. after a couple years of school she will make friends. it wont matter how anti-social you are

[brownbomber]

I've had similar incidents with my 5 year old girl. Like people not showing up to party or other kids being mean at the park. I just try to explain not everybody is nice but it's important to be polite and because you are a polite and sweet kid not everybody is the same as you. Then do something special, go for a horse ride, ice cream whatever it takes to make her feel good.
When she's older I will explain how rude people get throat punches lol Jk.......kinda

[knifeman]

Unbelievable.

[calgarychef]

If you want to have a friend you have to be a friend. Reread that, then read it again and commit it to memory.

Start inviting the other kids to your house for play dates and soon everything will turn around. When we moved here to England we did exactly that and after only a couple of play dates the kids were starting to get invited over. Then the birthday party invitations started rolling in.

To have a friend you must be a friend......

[Tbutler]

Originally Posted by brownbomber

I've had similar incidents with my 5 year old girl. Like people not showing up to party or other kids being mean at the park. I just try to explain not everybody is nice but it's important to be polite and because you are a polite and sweet kid not everybody is the same as you. Then do something special, go for a horse ride, ice cream whatever it takes to make her feel good.
When she's older I will explain how rude people get throat punches lol Jk.......kinda

Ya that's pritty much what I did and promised to go fishing Friday as long as I don't get called to work.

It's not that I don't have friends they just live in other places. We moved where we are so the wife could be close to here family when I am out of town. As for the kids they all play togather at school and she has lots of little friends. I just hoped that she had a few yeas befor having to deal with this. My oldest is in grade 2 and we have yet to deal with any thing like this with her.

[Gust]

Originally Posted by huntin

it probably wont be that bad she will make her own friends even if you cant. kids are innocient. your daughter didnt get invited because of you and your wife by the sounds of it. after a couple years of school she will make friends. it wont matter how anti-social you are

What a gross reply,,,, so, butler is supposed to be friends with his daughters classmates parents? keep circles? and, if he doesn't, nor his wife, then it should be construed that butler is anti-social and his daughter should be alienated?

[huntin]

Originally Posted by calgarychef

If you want to have a friend you have to be a friend. Reread that, then read it again and commit it to memory.

Start inviting the other kids to your house for play dates and soon everything will turn around. When we moved here to England we did exactly that and after only a couple of play dates the kids were starting to get invited over. Then the birthday party invitations started rolling in.

To have a friend you must be a friend......

well said

[chadyaz]

Originally Posted by calgarychef

To have a friend you must be a friend

Great advice for anyone no matter the age

[huntin]

Originally Posted by Gust

What a gross reply,,,, so, butler is supposed to be friends with his daughters classmates parents? keep circles? and, if he doesn't, nor his wife, then it should be construed that butler is anti-social and his daughter should be alienated?

not what I said at all I said she will make friends even if he can

[Blackwolf]

Originally Posted by calgarychef

If you want to have a friend you have to be a friend. Reread that, then read it again and commit it to memory.

Start inviting the other kids to your house for play dates and soon everything will turn around. When we moved here to England we did exactly that and after only a couple of play dates the kids were starting to get invited over. Then the birthday party invitations started rolling in.

To have a friend you must be a friend......

X2, really good advice

[Okotokian]

This is why some schools don't allow distribution of party invites at school. But of course then we would have the usual lot here on this board screaming about schools trying to "molly-coddle" kids and "make everyone a winner" and how kids need to grow up to the real world.

Sorry for your daughter's heart ache.

[Etownguy]

It has happened to us as well - almost the same story. The key for us (her) was to meet other kids and their parents and simply get to know them. In our case, our daughter didn't get an invitation simply because the parents didn't know us that well - there was no other agenda other than we were essentially strangers to them. It was smoother sailing for her once we made some connections with other families.

I know it is one thing to understand that as a parent, but quite another to explain that to a 5 year old. I wish you all the best, and I'm sure it will work itself out as she grows her social network.

[58thecat]

Originally Posted by calgarychef

If you want to have a friend you have to be a friend. Reread that, then read it again and commit it to memory.

Start inviting the other kids to your house for play dates and soon everything will turn around. When we moved here to England we did exactly that and after only a couple of play dates the kids were starting to get invited over. Then the birthday party invitations started rolling in.

To have a friend you must be a friend......

Follow this to a tee and things will change.

[Sooner]

If you have kids, chances are you have had that discussion, why wasnt i invited? It happens. Good time to explain that sometimes life isnt always fair but it doesnt mean nobody likes you. There will be times when your kid doesnt invite someone who thought they should be there. It works both ways but usually it's the costs of the party that dictate how many get invited. I know it did/does for us. Both of my kids have been in your daughters shoes when younger. Not too much of a big deal now. Wait till she is a teenager and doesnt get invited, Cue the drama (I speak of experience, 13 yr old)lol

[marxman]

You feel sad with her but dont go down to her level operate from a position of strength to show her she must change the situation or if she doesnt have the courage she must accept it and do something else. It would be good to provide that oportunity but i wouldnt try to make up for it for her a tempting thing for sure. I have 2 grown girls of course once they are grown you realize you never really could have fixed anything

[DarkAisling]

Originally Posted by Tbutler

All the grils in here class is invited to a b-day party and she is not (first time was a few weeks ago was bad but twice).

How long has she been attending this preschool?

When I'm doing up birthday party invitations, I get a list of the first names of all of the children in my son's class. That list has been wrong a couple of times: there have been some very significant omissions. At the last birthday party we attended I wound up profusely apologizing to one mother as a result of her son's omission from my son's last party. Her son was missing from the list, and he had been attending this daycare/preschool for four years!

The parents may not be aware of your daughter's presence at the preschool. Being that she hasn't been invited to two parties, when the rest of the girls have, I suspect that could be the case.

[diamond k]

Originally Posted by DarkAisling

How long has she been attending this preschool?

When I'm doing up birthday party invitations, I get a list of the first names of all of the children in my son's class. That list has been wrong a couple of times: there have been some very significant omissions. At the last birthday party we attended I wound up profusely apologizing to one mother as a result of her son's omission from my son's last party. Her son was missing from the list, and he had been attending this daycare/preschool for four years!

The parents may not be aware of your daughter's presence at the preschool. Being that she hasn't been invited to two parties, when the rest of the girls have, I suspect that could be the case.

Same here our list was not accurate. I would suggest a quick call and be polite and just say that you wanted to make sure that everything was ok and that she was a little upset about not being on the list. I bet it was an honest mistake. If it was actually omitting one kid then politly calling them out will at at least make them uncomfortable and think about it next time. Check the list bet you anything that is the case.

[X bolt]

Originally Posted by huntin

it probably wont be that bad she will make her own friends even if you cant. kids are innocient. your daughter didnt get invited because of you and your wife by the sounds of it. after a couple years of school she will make friends. it wont matter how anti-social you are

Wow, was it your girls party,,run it through the filter before you click submit would ya.

[Big Daddy Badger]

You know... one way to avoid this is to quit indulging kids so much.

The girl feels singled out because she was the only one not invited.

We never let our kids invite the whole class.

First off its is wrong and superfiscial to ask for gifts from mere aquaintences and second it is important for kids to understand restraint and the difference between friendly acquaintences and actual friends.

We used to put a cap on B-Days of 6-8 kids.
No feelings hurt and my daughters learned to pick their friends more carefully and foster those friendships to the point that most of their friends now have been that since elementary school.

With the same thing in mind they did not always feel compelled to attend parties that they were invited to.
After all why would they want to if the only reason for an invite was to secure a present?

This was the norm when I was a kid and I do not understand why everyone seems to think they must go out of their way to indulge kids that want to invite the whole darn class.

You are parents... teach them something.
Teach them how to make choices and be selecive and how to prioritize.
No wonders so many young people can't deal with the sort of adversity that wouldn't even have phased us at that age.

To the OP... I'm sorry she is upset but kids are resiliant and she is better off with a few real friends than a bunch that are only interested in what she will give them.

[artie]

I taught school for 33 years. Kids can be cruel. But life goes on and I soon see the picked on kid hanging out with someone else. They learn and adapt and it's part of the process of growing up. Your guidance is what is needed. Do not make a big deal about it in front of your kid but as others have said ask her if there is someone she wants to invite over.

[Rusty P. Bucket]

I think Artie has the right of it. This isn't a big deal. Take your daughter out and do something fun and she won't even think about it. She will find her stride and her tribe on her own.

[omega50]

http://www.albertahealthservices.ca/...g-programs.pdf

Parents today seem to be facing different challenges- ones that my parents were oblivious to and ones which have escalated beyond what I experienced when my kids were toddlers in the early 90's.

Pro-active instead of reactive- I think there are parenting classes/resources that could help

[Tbutler]

I know all this I was just venting. And it's not that she dident get invited. That's not it its the fact that she was the only girl not invited. We teach out kids to be kind to all and to treat other people the same. Now I understand having caps on how many you can invite , but really 1 little girl !! We never do that if my grils have a party it's all or no one ( there's only 6-8 girls). She has Ben there for 2 years prep and pre school so they know her. Oh will it is just another life lesson for a 5 year old.

[_hedge_]

We've had the same thing happen. It's heartbraking. It seems girls generally can be just terrible to each other.

It's hard to find the words, ours kind of got bullied out of her normal group of friends a few years ago but she's slowly worked her way back and found friendship with other kids.