Depression

[pikergolf]

I suffered with depression for a lot of years, one of the most depressing side effects was that I could not be around other depressed people. As much as I wanted to help, it just stirred that depression in me. The last few years have been the best I have been through in the last 30. If you suffer, know there is always hope, one medication change can be life altering. Depression is a condition not a sentence, keep looking for help, you can have a life again. Happily I can now, the last few years, be around depressed people without it affecting me. THERE IS HOPE. Chase down your breakthrough, and for gawds sake get a dog, I literally started getting teary eyed typing the dog part.

And walk, when you meet people look them in the eye and smile and say hello. I cannot explain it, but your actions can effect your mood to a degree.

[omega50]

For me Depression is rage internalized
Solution?
Externalize it.
Outcome?
I am much much happier and everyone around me is miserable.
Score

[alacringa]

Originally Posted by omega50

For me Depression is rage internalized
Solution?
Externalize it.
Outcome?
I am much much happier and everyone around me is miserable.
Score

Really? Depression is a serious issue, and there are clearly a bunch of us on here who struggle with it. It has led us to experience years of hopelessness, among a myriad of other symptoms. But yeah...feel free to some on here and devalue what we experience by making a stupid joke about it.

[omega50]

Originally Posted by alacringa

Really? Depression is a serious issue, and there are clearly a bunch of us on here who struggle with it. It has led us to experience years of hopelessness, among a myriad of other symptoms. But yeah...feel free to some on here and devalue what we experience by making a stupid joke about it.

Get over yourself.
Not a joke.
Actually a strategy from a skilled therapist.
But judge away Mr. Holier than thou.
Not a one size fits all solution.
I will deal with my depression in a manner that works for me.
How dare you determine that you are sole Judge and jury on a appropriate coping mechanism.
Let me assure you.
You are not.
The only one trying to devalue anyone here is you.

[jstubbs]

This thread hits home for me also. I think my old man is really going through it for about a year now. Some days/weeks better than others it seems but he is a shell of who he was 18 months ago. Too proud to get himself serious help. Not sure what to do.

[pikergolf]

Originally Posted by jstubbs

This thread hits home for me also. I think my old man is really going through it for about a year now. Some days/weeks better than others it seems but he is a shell of who he was 18 months ago. Too proud to get himself serious help. Not sure what to do.

Let him know you are there for him.

[leo]

No need to bicker at one another fella’s. we’re in the same race. Be patient and kind to one another please.

[W921]

Originally Posted by leo

No need to bicker at one another fella’s. we’re in the same race. Be patient and kind to one another please.

Everything okay? You started this thread and kind of disappeared.

[Chewbacca]

When I read threads like this it makes me wonder how many suffer in silence because of the fear of losing their guns if found out.

[pikergolf]

Originally Posted by Chewbacca

When I read threads like this it makes me wonder how many suffer in silence because of the fear of losing their guns if found out.

I would imagine more than a few, I applied for my renewal 6 wks ago, still haven't heard anything and I am on pins and needles every time until I get my new PAL.

[jaggern1]

Excellent post!

[RandyBoBandy]

Originally Posted by pikergolf

I would imagine more than a few, I applied for my renewal 6 wks ago, still haven't heard anything and I am on pins and needles every time until I get my new PAL.

Well, I "checked" that medical box about depression and it took EXACTLY 1 year to the date to get my PAL. Called in after waiting 6 months and the fella said my application was in "secondary". Not one of my references or Doctor were contacted Not sure if I'll answer that question the same way next time

[leo]

I doing fine. I have put my demons to rest for the time being, cut back considerably on booze, never did drugs, and am managing. I had a family member showing these issues a week ago. They are coming out of the funk they were in. Took them to a Dr, and got treatment and support started.

[Sundancefisher]

I just found out yesterday that a friend that lost their job in the oil patch, just took his own life at 38 years old.

If you are having difficulties, please don’t delay. Seek help. Talk with friends, family, professional healthcare workers. People do care and every life on earth is invaluable and often touch and helps others in ways they are not even aware of.

You are needed. I don’t want anyone else to die needlessly.

[Stinky Buffalo]

Oh Sundance, so sorry to hear that. My condolences.

[Twisted Canuck]

This is a very good, and important thread. I can only 'sort of' relate. Once in my life, about 10 years back, for no discernible external reason, I went through about a 6 week period of what I would call real depression. A friend who worked in the same trade saw this, and made a point of 'dropping in' on my jobsite, chatting, and even picking up tools and helping just because he was a decent guy. He recognized what I was going through because he had suffered with it his whole life, and it helped me out tremendously for him to casually be there as a friend. To this day, I don't know what caused or triggered this depression, or why it went away.

And then, a couple years later, my friend took his own life. I had talked to him the day before, he seemed down, brought a coffee to his job and chatted. I was devastated when I found out.

My hunting partner and friend at that time was really dismissive of it, said that my other friend was 'weak'. He was adamant and very strong about his opinion. And then a couple years later, he was in a hole so bad he dropped all his firearms off at my place, and told me not to give them back to him. He was in counselling, on meds, and all of us (his friends) were keeping constant tabs on him and in communication....yet he also took his life.

A young fellow who worked for me got a call one day at work, and fell apart...his 48 year old father had committed suicide.

Anyway, there are a half dozen other instances of friends, co-workers, acquaintances, who have done this. It's not something to dismiss, or think of as being weak. And it has also taken me a while to get past the mental games of 'if only I had...'. Feeling guilty about not preventing somebody else from doing It is pointless as well.

Anyway, a difficult subject, and I appreciate those who have contributed.

Originally Posted by Chewbacca

When I read threads like this it makes me wonder how many suffer in silence because of the fear of losing their guns if found out.

I know of people who had these exact same thoughts. I've told them that their wife and kids are more valuable then their guns. Men, we can be really stupid about our ideas of being strong, and what is important.

[Kurt505]

Originally Posted by leo

Depression. It is a silent demon that enters peoples lives. If unrecognized and left untreated, will ruin or forever alter many peoples lives. I've lived with it for many years, and have been on, and am still taking medication and treatment for it. Without the support of my wife and family, I likely wouldn't be typing these words. To my friends. Don't be afraid to reach out to me, or a loved one for help or support. You're not in it alone. To your loved ones, try to recognize the symptoms before it's too late. Our busy lives, and hustle and bustle world, takes a heavy toll on our body chemistry. It's not a sign of weakness, it's a sign that you need to rest, and let others be strong for you for a change. Mood changes, abuse of alcohol or drugs. These are some of the first signs. This is an illness no different than any other, and it can be treated. Take care of each other, be patient and be kind. Recognize the signs and don't be afraid to step in and intervene on their behalf.
Leo

Leo, I would have never guessed you have a problem with depression, but you’re right, it can affect anyone. My father is hard worker and a big prankster, always telling jokes and messing with his friends and family but he suffers from depression at times as well. I’m sure not many people who know him would ever suspect he has it. He’s what I judge a man against, his qualities are that of what being a man is all about, strong, hard working, takes care of his family, brothers, sisters, kids, wife, everyone before taking care of himself, and you certainly remind me of him.

Thank you for stepping up and taking the time to post this, just more affirmation you’re the kind of guy that wants to help others. If you ever need a hand with some of your projects I’d love to come over and help out and learn some of your carpentry skills.

[roper1]

Great thread Leo. I can get a touch of the winter blues, never bad though. I did have a stretch a few years back, probably clinical PTSD. Seen a guy lose an arm years ago,one day it just bugged me, I knew the day it started, realized the day it stopped bothering me. Hope everyone is OK the best they can, mentally & physically!

[catnthehat]

I have lost many friends and many union brothers and sisters that I knew over the years to depression , if is a terrible, terrible dark place to be in a person's life .
Talking to one another and helping out when one can is key to helping the person , that is how I see it anyway .
Cat

[calgarychef]

Yesterday I could feel myself “doing the slide” I have several bouts of depression per year. Luckily for me they’re short term and I can get busy and make it go away but damn what a dark place it is and I pray that I’ll always be able to chase away the boogeyman myself. For those who can’t crawl out of the hole it must be so friggen miserable.

[W921]

I think there are a lot of different things that can trigger depression. I think people can act way different when they are depressed. I mean depression affects people differently. I suspect its more rare but if they are really mean and hateful. Push everyone away from them and won't see a doctor. How do you help? Just try to be kind and thoughtful but give them space?
Besides not being able to cope well with bad things that have happened to them I think there are a bunch of other things that can cause depression. Anything from dementia to menopause.
They seem really angry but say they are sad but they dont act sad. Hard to get them to talk. Hard to be around. Do any of you notice big changes in your wives at a certain age?

[jeprli]

When you're hurting last thing you need is someone feeling sorry for you. I prefer someone who will level with me, share an experience or few of their own, this gets me up. I've heard a lot of fdup stories over the years, but things I've heard from an Afghani woman made my own pale in comparison. Yet she is full of life and optimistic, a real rock in my eyes....all alone, only one daughter that she gave away for adoption out of fear for her life.

Material things i learned to ignore and adapt if necessary, emotional battles i could never get rid off. Solitude in nature, observing natural world and spending time in it helps more than anything. Surrounding yourself with good people keeps motivation going. Something to look for when clouds roll in.

[leo]

Originally Posted by Sundancefisher

I just found out yesterday that a friend that lost their job in the oil patch, just took his own life at 38 years old.

If you are having difficulties, please don’t delay. Seek help. Talk with friends, family, professional healthcare workers. People do care and every life on earth is invaluable and often touch and helps others in ways they are not even aware of.

You are needed. I don’t want anyone else to die needlessly.

So tragic, my condolences on your loss.

[leo]

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

I have no experience in this but apparently I have "helped"

I am in constant contact with friends. We talk at least two or three times a week. Even that makes a difference.

I do not accept those excuses we use of "i was busy" or "so much going on"....

I dont care what you do for work, or how "busy" you think you are.....EVERYONE has time to touch base.

And if its nice out, my friends know where the key is hidden. Use it, pet my dog, grab a drink and ill be home shortly.

My friends are still the ones who joined me on Saturday mornings, lying on our stomachs on pillows, watching cartoons........we all got married, some had kids, some didnt, some are now single, whatever....the one thing that has remained is friendship. Its our duty to care for each other.

And over the years, other newer friends have joined us.

Friends and spouses/partners. Really, the only choices you get to make. So choose wisely.

Keep each other healthy. Care. Pretty simple stuff

Wise words, and I know you've helped others, because you helped me through a dark patch a few years ago. I've never forgotten your kindness and willingness to listen and be a friend. You're a blessing as a friend and an asset to this forum buddy.

[1stLand]

more people suffer from depression and anxiety than we realize.

its disheartening that so many people suffer in silence.

life changing events sometimes push people over the edge.

I wish people would reach out to the crisis line / suicide hotline.

It helps. You remain anonymous and you can talk about what is bothering you. Getting your feelings out in the open can be therapeutic and talk you off the edge. Even if you are not suicidal and just depressed calling one of these hotlines can be a great resource. They are open 24 / 7

[W921]

Originally Posted by 1stLand

more people suffer from depression and anxiety than we realize.

its disheartening that so many people suffer in silence.

life changing events sometimes push people over the edge.

I wish people would reach out to the crisis line / suicide hotline.

It helps. You remain anonymous and you can talk about what is bothering you. Getting your feelings out in the open can be therapeutic and talk you off the edge. Even if you are not suicidal and just depressed calling one of these hotlines can be a great resource. They are open 24 / 7

You just reminded me of that cops TV show that used to be on. When they were booking people they would ask them if they were depressed. If the guy said yes the police would immediately strap him into a chair and leave him there. That was it. I always thought if the guy was depressed before,he sure is going to be even worse now strapped into a chair and left alone in a room.

[RandyBoBandy]

Originally Posted by 1stLand

more people suffer from depression and anxiety than we realize.

its disheartening that so many people suffer in silence.

life changing events sometimes push people over the edge.

I wish people would reach out to the crisis line / suicide hotline.

It helps. You remain anonymous and you can talk about what is bothering you. Getting your feelings out in the open can be therapeutic and talk you off the edge. Even if you are not suicidal and just depressed calling one of these hotlines can be a great resource. They are open 24 / 7

That is a very important statement I wasn't depressed, I had anxiety issues which manifest symptoms of depression,,I'm cool now

[tchammer]

Beware your late 30's and well into your 40's. I believe the whole midlife crisis thing for men is very much tied to depression. The amount of men I know who have committed suicide in this age demographic is staggering.
Recognize it for what it is and be proactive in dealing with it. Unfortunately the solution for dealing with it is as varied as the amount of men who get it.

[badbrass]

Wow you two are blessed to have a friendship!

Originally Posted by leo

Wise words, and I know you've helped others, because you helped me through a dark patch a few years ago. I've never forgotten your kindness and willingness to listen and be a friend. You're a blessing as a friend and an asset to this forum buddy.

[510-Gem]

Just like to give this thread a nod, as it’s good to see some of the regulars on the forum doing the same.

Depression is a very real and prevalent issue, the depths of which are far greater than a healthy person can grasp. Not unlike alcoholism, it can eventually become a force far more powerful than the victim. As it is with most illness, preventative maintenance and early detection/treatment is key.

That advice about the dog is right on point. I’ve sobbed into my labs collar when something heavy was bothering me, and she just saw me through to the other side, reminding me that everything was alright. Playing any stringed instrument levels a guy out, and I’ve also heard from a few dudes who ride Harley’s that it has the same calming effect.

...and for goodness sakes just make it your mission to be good TO, and good FOR the people around you!


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