Bad divorce

[grouse_hunter]

Originally Posted by rugatika

Usually has to do with a huge betrayal of trust that goes hand-in-hand with aforementioned love.

I could easily write a long essay on my view and opinion of this relationship. However I'm not interested in putting my personal trouble on display. I simply wanted a lawyer reference.

Ken, don't insinuate that I relied on her. I take great pride in providing for my family. I have plenty of calluses to show for the property that I own.

Hasn't anyone here heard of "you reap what you sow"

[densa44]

Don't get mad, it will just cost you more money. Are there children? If so you will have permanent relationship with their mother until the last one is out of school, don't make it harder on yourself.

Be positive look ahead and not back. The only part of your life that you can change is ahead of you.

The best revenge you can have, if you are determined to do that is to live well.

[hal53]

Originally Posted by densa44

Don't get mad, it will just cost you more money. Are there children? If so you will have permanent relationship with their mother until the last one is out of school, don't make it harder on yourself.

Be positive look ahead and not back. The only part of your life that you can change is ahead of you.

The best revenge you can have, if you are determined to do that is to live well.

^^^^^ this....very wise words.....

[grouse_hunter]

Without saying too much: no kids, she's been unemployed for the last 7 years, she just turned 30 and has no disabilities or medical disorders which would prevent her from working.
The property is in my name, paid for by me, since I'm the one who qualified for the mortgage.
I'm not mad, I finally feel relieved ripping the "leech" off my back. It hurts now, but it will pass.
On a more positive note: Today I actually caught myself smiling for the first time in a few years. Feels like a burden was lifted.

[From The Hip]

Originally Posted by grouse_hunter

Without saying too much: no kids, she's been unemployed for the last 7 years, she just turned 30 and has no disabilities or medical disorders which would prevent her from working.
The property is in my name, paid for by me, since I'm the one who qualified for the mortgage.
I'm not mad, I finally feel relieved ripping the "leech" off my back. It hurts now, but it will pass.
On a more positive note: Today I actually caught myself smiling for the first time in a few years. Feels like a burden was lifted.

This was my situation as well with regards to children but my ex was employed.The marriage only lasted 2 years,come to think of it my cell phone contact lasted longer than my marriage.

Given your situation and the fact that the house is in your name and you paid for it and there are no children and she was unemployed if you get a good lawyer I dont think you will lose.

She cant play the stay at home mom/homemaker card on you and given that you have paid for everything for 7 years whilst she was unemployed she contributed zilch.Hell even if you got a fem-nazi judge I doubt you would lose much.

If you bought the house with YOUR money as a downpayment and she had no part in it I doubt she would even get 50%.If you bought the house with funds from an inheritace she will get NOTHING.

As others have said I will aslo echo the sentiment that living better is the best revenge.

Lawyer up and squash the leech and if you are able kick her out of the house so as to throw more financial roadblocks in her way since she is unemployed.


FTH

[BBKiller]

Originally Posted by grouse_hunter

I could easily write a long essay on my view and opinion of this relationship. However I'm not interested in putting my personal trouble on display. I simply wanted a lawyer reference.

Ken, don't insinuate that I relied on her. I take great pride in providing for my family. I have plenty of calluses to show for the property that I own.

Hasn't anyone here heard of "you reap what you sow"

Based on your statements in the guided hunt etiquette thread I hope she takes enough of your money you have a valid reason to stiff your "professional sheep guide".


Good luck with your endeavor

[hal53]

Originally Posted by BBKiller

Based on your statements in the guided hunt etiquette thread I hope she takes enough of your money you have a valid reason to stiff your "professional sheep guide".


Good luck with your endeavor

Be sure to let us all know which out fit you are working for this year, would be a hoot spending 10 days in the mountains with you.....NOT.......

[grouse_hunter]

Originally Posted by BBKiller

Based on your statements in the guided hunt etiquette thread I hope she takes enough of your money you have a valid reason to stiff your "professional sheep guide".


Good luck with your endeavor

Like her you must love the word "entitlement"

[elkdump]

Originally Posted by grouse_hunter

Without saying too much: no kids, she's been unemployed for the last 7 years, she just turned 30 and has no disabilities or medical disorders which would prevent her from working.
The property is in my name, paid for by me, since I'm the one who qualified for the mortgage.
I'm not mad, I finally feel relieved ripping the "leech" off my back. It hurts now, but it will pass.
On a more positive note: Today I actually caught myself smiling for the first time in a few years. Feels like a burden was lifted.

do not be too comfortable or relieved that you found yourself smiling in this time of crisis, quite the opposite I would see a doctor as soon as possible, the smile may well be a tumor, treated early it may only require removing half of your face or less,,,,,

[grouse_hunter]

Originally Posted by elkdump

do not be too comfortable or relieved that you found yourself smiling in this time of crisis, quite the opposite I would see a doctor as soon as possible, the smile may well be a tumor, treated early it may only require removing half of your face or less,,,,,

Where did that come from?

[hal53]

Originally Posted by grouse_hunter

Where did that come from?

B.C.,

[grouse_hunter]

Originally Posted by hal53

B.C.,

Thank you Hal, there goes another smile...

[elkdump]

you admitted to smiling, grow on IT !, dont work at being a vile, bitter, vindictive SOB,

it will eat you up

no matter how tough you think you are

[ESOXangler]

Originally Posted by hal53

B.C.,

Hahaha just never know what you will get.

OP what the hell took you so long? Seven years of no contribution? Must of been some magical when the lights went out!

[grouse_hunter]

Originally Posted by ESOXangler

Hahaha just never know what you will get.

OP what the hell took you so long? Seven years of no contribution? Must of been some magical when the lights went out!

Looks is all that she has. We've been together for 10 years all together. Actually married for 5, but common law marriage kicks in quite early. I had to teach her how to cook...
By the way Elkdump, I'm neither bitter nor vindictive; furthermore, my Mother is a wonderful woman so I'm not a SOB. Lets leave her out of this though.

[elkdump]

Originally Posted by grouse_hunter

Looks is all that she has. We've been together for 10 years all together. Actually married for 5, but common law marriage kicks in quite early. I had to teach her how to cook...
By the way Elkdump, I'm neither bitter nor vindictive; furthermore, my Mother is a wonderful woman so I'm not a SOB. Lets leave her out of this though.

read your first post in this thread,, your own words

[grouse_hunter]

Originally Posted by elkdump

read your first post in this thread,, your own words

Well, the original post is a bit overly passionate, lets put it that way. I don't want to "destroy" her, and I do not wish to take financial advantage of her even though I'm in the position to do so. I want to give her a fair share of the family units' worth. As in I want to come to an agreement on a number and a timeline for me to pay, sign the papers and to get on with my life.
I really wish I could post the creme de la creme of her behavior, but it would be counterproductive in several ways. It leaves me incapable of fully explaining the situation.

[rwm1273]

Originally Posted by grouse_hunter

Well, the original post is a bit overly passionate, lets put it that way. I don't want to "destroy" her, and I do not wish to take financial advantage of her even though I'm in the position to do so. I want to give her a fair share of the family units' worth. As in I want to come to an agreement on a number and a timeline for me to pay, sign the papers and to get on with my life.
I really wish I could post the creme de la creme of her behavior, but it would be counterproductive in several ways. It leaves me incapable of fully explaining the situation.

Read up on some of our laws dealing with divorce. The Matrimonial property act is a good one to read in your case. This link gives a pretty good simple explanation of it.

http://www.slsedmonton.com/family/matrimonial-property/

Given the time you were married, she is entitled to half of the assets of the marriage regardless of who's name is on the title. If she put any money down, then this comes out right from the start. Since she never worked, she will be entitled to spousal support, and most judges grant 1/2 of the length of marriage for marriages of this length. So if she has been accustomed to getting her hair done weekly, she will still be getting it done weekly and paid by you. This will be the case for the next 2.5-3 years most likely, if not 5 years. The only real way to limit this is if you can prove she is capable of supporting herself. If she never worked in the marriage, this is more difficult, and is compounded if she does not have much education. If she has a PHD and still refuses to work, then you could have some grounds to say she is under employed and get an income imputed to her, but this will take more time and this results in more legal action, which costs more.

You also need to be separated for 1 full year before a divorce decree will be granted unless there are extenuating circumstances. It will take this long just to go through most of the divorce proceedings anyways.

If you can talk her into collaborative law, you may be able to settle this matter faster by giving her a lump sum payout for spousal support, and this will speed up the process.

I know a number of people who took upwards of 10 years to get a divorce without any kids in the picture. If she wants to drag it on, there are many lawyers who will enable her to.

Do not go and spend on anything other than normal living expenses until you get the division of assets split. If you do, this could be considered dissipation of the assets, and will harm you in the end.

If you are able to get her to agree to a settlement, ensure that both of you have a lawyer look it over before you take it to court to finalize. If you don't, she could have grounds to reopen the issue later.

It really makes no difference what kind of behavior she showed in the marriage. We are a no fault divorce province. This means that she could be sleeping with the whole town, and spends more than you earn on frivolous things and it makes no difference to how much she is entitled to.

I would recommend you take some time and do your homework so that you can ensure that you know what is a good payout. Track down any documents that show where the money came from to purchase any assets. If there was any money given by either parent, mark it down. Was it a loan or a gift? Find out what the payout is on all debt, both yours and hers. Find any documents that show how much debt each of you had at the start of the relationship, and then at marriage. If there was any inheritance by either party, this is for the most part exempt from any division. Calculate what each asset is worth, and what is owed on each.

If it looks like she is going to put up some fight, I would hire a lawyer who is good at doing discoveries, and do this early. This will get most of the financial issues on the table, and will be used to calculate the division of assets.

If you have any joint bank accounts, close them, except perhaps any that are used to pay the mortgage.

Often in a spousal support order, you will also be forced to continue paying any third party health insurance for the duration you are ordered to pay support.

[grouse_hunter]

Thank you for that information. Some light before-sleep reading.

[connexion123]

Originally Posted by grouse_hunter

Thank you for that information. Some light before-sleep reading.

Lol...ya...light.

[DiabeticKripple]

all i gotta say is.... the laws around divorce are bullchit. he's gotta pay for her to get her hair done for a few years cause she's a leech and is too lazy to get a job?

anyone can get a job in alberta. i had a job in grade 8. should be even easier for someone with at least a high school education to get a job.

good luck GH

[Rdamours]

My god man. You should feel born again. Stop dwelling on your past, cut your losses and enjoy your life. Put some distance between you and that succubus and don't give that thing another thought. Get yourself a positive outlook and good things will come your way. Lord knows you deserve a break.

[wcbarker]

You know why a divorce is so expensive?????

Because it is so totally worth it.



But seriously if kids are involved, don't let them suffer the arguments.