Fighting with the real boss - Page 2

Smoky buck · #31 02-10-2019, 08:16 AM

I don’t know how some of you do it all this sleeping on the couch, “yes dear”, and your wife being the boss stuff. No woman is worth that kind of life to me

Yes at times I argue with my wife but it’s either hashed out in a reasonable manner or we agree to disagree

Made it clear early on in life I would not marry any woman that involve walking on eggshells or being spineless or fake for.

Jack fish hunter · #32 02-10-2019, 08:27 AM

I used to argue. Found the best way to go is do what she wants. My wife is really hard headed. Get my points in but if she won’t budge on the matter, no sense in arguing. Let her do it her way, when it ****s up we do it my way. Found we’ve been doing things more my way lately.

Bigwoodsman · #33 02-10-2019, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

I do not argue. There is no value in it.
If you are sleeping on the couch, both of you are wrong.

So you win the argument but lose the girl. What did you win?

My partner and I have joined AND separate lives. Neither of us needs the other. We are together because we choose to be.

Ive come home to find men ripping up my main level carpet to prep it for hardwood. Did we talk about this? Maybe 5 years ago. Does it matter? Not to me. I like hardwood. Too often we throw our 2 cents in when we should save it for something important. Now, if you cant AFFORD hardwood, someone used poor judgement.

Its called trust. If I came home or she came over and noticed that something was added or replaced, I’d expect her to ask. And I would explain why it was the correct thing to do. Things based on need or necessity.

Now, things based on “wants” are different. She may not totally appreciate the new painting, but she recognizes it obviously means something to me (because it’s HANGING ON MY WALL). She doesn’t need to question it or debate it, because its already there. Whether she appreciates it is irrelevant because we are two different people. Pick your battles. Most are not worth fighting.

Giving details on your present dilemma will just open the door to a lot of judgement and very little substance.

Go crawl into your bed. Right beside her. If she leaves or tells you to get out, you do have a problem that needs to be addressed. Of that I’m certain

Quote:

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

You have referred to her as “like a rattlesnake” and a firecracker

There is no boss in a relationship. Just two people giving each other 100% of their abilities

If someone needs to be the boss, they should buy a dog.

This^^^^!

And we have 3 dogs!

We have separate bedrooms as well. It’s works best for us as I need a good nights sleep. Try as we might it just doesn’t work for us. That being said if either of us want to join the other we have an open invitation no invite needed.

Day to day things or when I screw up. It’s “yes dear , you’re right I fully understand”. However only one apology has been necessary so far and I received it from her.

BW

pruhead · #34 02-10-2019, 08:41 AM

i used to argue before , but i realized its not worth i better go out to take a bottle of beer , and come back few hours .Then the heat will be down ....

Justfishin73 · #35 02-10-2019, 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack fish hunter

I used to argue. Found the best way to go is do what she wants. My wife is really hard headed. Get my points in but if she won’t budge on the matter, no sense in arguing. Let her do it her way, when it ****s up we do it my way. Found we’ve been doing things more my way lately.

I hear ya. Bad part is doing it her way involves 2 x money and 2 x my labor

buckbrush · #36 02-10-2019, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 58thecat

perspective on a issue is usually first world problems that really don't matter.....

This.

Buckhead · #37 02-10-2019, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

Omg. Perfectly said.

My female friends are all independent, intelligent and emotionally stable. Extremely attractive. They LIKE the fact that its a “man’s world “ in business. Stephanie used to say that it just gives her more balls to kick. Now THATS confidence.

Now if I could only find men for them. Its difficult. I find a lot of guys are intimidated. It’s unfortunate.

One or more of those females needs a good paddle on the backside.

Lites out · #38 02-10-2019, 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack fish hunter

I used to argue. Found the best way to go is do what she wants. My wife is really hard headed. Get my points in but if she won’t budge on the matter, no sense in arguing. Let her do it her way, when it ****s up we do it my way. Found we’ve been doing things more my way lately.

Sounds like you do what your told!!

1899b · #39 02-10-2019, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

You have referred to her as “like a rattlesnake” and a firecracker

There is no boss in a relationship. Just two people giving each other 100% of their abilities

If someone needs to be the boss, they should buy a dog.

Well said....

boah · #40 02-10-2019, 10:00 AM

Some people are just not meant to be together. It’s too bad they find this out after they say I do. A life time of arguments doesn’t sound like fun.

bloopbloob · #41 02-10-2019, 10:12 AM

Haha what a mix of interesting responses! All over the spectrum! Thanks for the replies

big zeke · #42 02-10-2019, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buckhead

One or more of those females needs a good paddle on the backside.

Welcome aboard, please set your watch back to 1950

I have one of those confidant girls, she's my daughter, I got a few nieces that are the same way I hope they never meet you (or anyone like you). Even if this is a joke it's offcolour.

Smoky buck · #43 02-10-2019, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by big zeke

Welcome aboard, please set your watch back to 1950

I have one of those confidant girls, she's my daughter, I got a few nieces that are the same way I hope they never meet you (or anyone like you). Even if this is a joke it's offcolour.

It might surprise you but those strong confident girls are usually the ones into that kind of thing

tool · #44 02-10-2019, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloopbloob

What are your tactics when you, and the real boss (wife) don't get along or agree on something? Stood my ground. Couch night for this guy I'm thinking....

I would just withhold sex from her until the issue is resolved.

Let me know when it's ok to resume.......

bat119 · #45 02-10-2019, 10:46 AM

My wife prefers the silent treatment for our rare differences... perfect now what's on the tube

ETOWNCANUCK · #46 02-10-2019, 11:16 AM

I don’t know but as a happily divorced guy, I gladly take naps on my couch during the day and sleep in my bed at night.

Oh and if I’m ever wrong about something, usually I’m the only that knows and rarely do I get reminded.

If you are referring to your wife as boss and not partner,
Then maybe it’s time to break out of that institution.

Rockman · #47 02-10-2019, 11:30 AM

A lotta good replies, a lotta funny ones. I'll second a few: No one should be the boss, balance is very important in a satisfying relationship. Everyone is sometimes right, sometimes wrong. Have respect and confidence in both yourself and your mate, which goes hand-in-hand with really knowing yourselves, including limitations and strengths.

Important to have a life/hobbies/friends/etc outside of the relationship to some extent. Everyone needs some space and freedom.

It's a very wise approach to let things go as much as possible, let not the sun go down on your wrath, step back and consider if there's a simple misunderstanding at play and if that's really a hill to die on, etc.

Cheers!

Smokinyotes · #48 02-10-2019, 11:39 AM

Geez after reading some of these responses makes me realize how good I’ve got it. There is no boss in our house , well except maybe for the cat

3blade · #49 02-10-2019, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smokinyotes

Geez after reading some of these responses makes me realize how good I’ve got it. There is no boss in our house , well except maybe for the cat

Same. But even better, no cat.

On the rare occasion we disagree, we just cool off, talk things out. If someone had their head up their rear, they get laughed at a little. Then its on to more important parts of life: food, ale and humping. You only get so much time. What would you rather spend that time doing?

Sure, some girls love drama. They are what I like to call ex’s

DisplacedCaper · #50 02-10-2019, 12:18 PM

That old and over used saying is over used for a reason. Happy wife, happy life. 16 years married, 18 years together. I learned early on things are better for me if I just agree lol.

Like that time she told me our piano would fit in our nook off the living room. I went to the hardware store, bought new casters, I jacked it up, put those new proper casters on it, moved furniture, and off I went. It fit, but nothing else would. Then she said those words that I was partially happy to hear and was also dreading. “You were right, you can push it back to the dining room now”. Good times.

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tri777 · #51 02-10-2019, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tool

I would just withhold sex from her until the issue is resolved.

I hear thee!
And as a wise man once said,

"..sometimes when you just wanna get some sleep & it's enough already,
i just fake it"
(when you & the miss's are having that quality time)
Lol.

more Cosmo Kramer life lessons..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suAhGfVr_4U

Smoky buck · #52 02-10-2019, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DisplacedCaper

That old and over used saying is over used for a reason. Happy wife, happy life. 16 years married, 18 years together. I learned early on things are better for me if I just agree lol.

Like that time she told me our piano would fit in our nook off the living room. I went to the hardware store, bought new casters, I jacked it up, put those new proper casters on it, moved furniture, and off I went. It fit, but nothing else would. Then she said those words that I was partially happy to hear and was also dreading. “You were right, you can push it back to the dining room now”. Good times.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I would have handed my wife a tape measure. Told her it’s best to measure the space and piano first to be sure she would be happy with it before I moved it

Much cheaper and less work to politely guide them to see the light without arguing

DisplacedCaper · #53 02-10-2019, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smoky buck

I would have handed my wife a tape measure. Told her it’s best to measure the space and piano first to be sure she would be happy with it before I moved it

Much cheaper and less work to politely guide them to see the light without arguing

There was a tape measure involved. She was sure it would work

I needed the exercise anyway I guess lol

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Smoky buck · #54 02-10-2019, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DisplacedCaper

There was a tape measure involved. She was sure it would work

I needed the exercise anyway I guess lol

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Guess you need to teach your wife how to use the tape measure lol

Ken07AOVette · #55 02-10-2019, 02:51 PM

Years ago when we first were together if there was a bad fight I would go for a walk and cool down. Maybe even drive to the end of the block and stew.
Fast forward a decade or so I would go to town, catch a movie and supper, but always back home when things had cooled down.
Another decade later if it is bad enough I have a passport.

Fishing always puts things in proper perspective.

bloopbloob · #56 02-10-2019, 03:29 PM

Love some of the comments. Some, I am actually taking as advice...
Just FYI, it wasn't WW3, just a serious disagreement that turned into silent treatment. I respect hearing from like-minded individuals opinions for many different things from this site. And for anyone curious, ended up going to the same bed together eventually....

tool · #57 02-10-2019, 03:38 PM

Sometimes we fight just so we can make up.

linemanpete · #58 02-10-2019, 04:01 PM

If we disagree we rank how much we care about the subject 0-10. 0 being don’t care. Lower person backs down. Seems to work for us 15 years in.

Stinky Buffalo · #59 02-10-2019, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ken07AOVette

Years ago when we first were together if there was a bad fight I would go for a walk and cool down.

Same here! IncrediGirl is the fiercely independent type, like Huntinstuff mentioned, probably intimidated a few guys in her day. I learned to have respect for that little lady when she literally threw me over her head, uphill, during a snowball fight...

And she can be stubborn!

Early in our marriage, I got to the point where, if I had a different opinion than her, I would just state my side, and leave it at that. It was a lot easier than just going around and around in some argument about stuff.

In the end, some decisions just weren't made, etc. But on the important stuff, we worked it out, somehow. Just respected each other's opinions. Yup, we still disagree, we still need to cool off from time to time, but we don't let it get personal.

The key for us is, we ensured that the non-negotiable things were sorted out while we were dating... And we're spiritually on the same page, which is absolutely amazing.

huntinstuff · #60 02-10-2019, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tool

Sometimes we fight just so we can make up.

Do you need that little woman like the crops need a rain....?