Some Hockey Parents

[Shaggy]

Found this from a concerned parent looking for advice.

I can't believe there are still people like this. He is lucky he wasn't in my rink!!!



My son plays in a house league as a goalie. We have done travel in the past but the money became too much and our son just wants to play.

There are only two teams in the house league for this age group. They play each other twice a week.

One of the parents of the opposing team brings a noisy siren and sets it off when my son gets scored on. He holds it up in the air with one hand while pounding on the glass with the other. He only does this when one side scores, not both, which would at least make this slightly acceptable. He also yells stuff like "Goalie you suck!" and "You're not good enough to stop (insert opposing team name here) from scoring".

This spectator follows my son at period changes so my son puts up with this for an entire game. The glass gets beaten on and he gets yelled at even when the puck is on the other side of the ice. Last night was the final draw.

My son got injured on a clean play. The shooter lost balance and ran into him after making his shot that went in. Instead of acting like everyone else at the rink in silence hoping my son was OK after taking a serious shot, this spectator ran his siren several times and cheered while my son laid out on the ice being tended to.

I have once asked this spectator nicely to stop it but all he wanted to do was scream profanity and challenge me to a fight. Now this spectator does things like pull out his handkerchief when I walk by and yell "Little boy need my crying towel". It only made the situation worse.

I have gone to the rink managers and I think they have asked him to stop but he arrives right as the game starts and leaves immediately after so the refs and coaches do not have a chance to see him. Ir is getting to the point my son wants to quit from being bullied by this parent or whoever he is.

I emailed USA Hockey last night but have not heard back. Does anyone have any ideas on how to stop this out of control situation? I am not going to fight someone at a kid's hockey game but my family should not have to deal with this lunatic either. I am sure he is violating quite a few rules (profanity, taunting, bullying, harassing spectators).

Unreal.........I'd stick the siren up his azz if I were there. Let the kids play the game for the love of the game. They aren't all making it to the show

[CaberTosser]

Pretty sad that among all the parents and spectators there that not a one of them has a pair. One would think there'd be a whole team of people opening the emergency exit doors with buddies head and heaving him into the shrubs.

[Dacotensis]

Shaggy, as you know sports carry all kinds of emotions.
Some ppl live through others.
How else can we explain a segment of the population wearing watermelons on their heads, or painting faces in team colours?

It takes a tremendous amount to get me riled up. Having played bball at the highest levels with and against the best in the world, I just can't get emotional about watching other teams play.
Obviously this guy in the story needs to live through others for his success.Sad really.
Maybe the boy should have a mature conversation with the offender.
If that doesn't work then more covert steps could be taken.
If it was me that this was happening to I would start off with a good talking to. Nothing can compare to an embarassing public conversation.

Originally Posted by CaberTosser

Pretty sad that among all the parents and spectators there that not a one of them has a pair. One would think there'd be a whole team of people opening the emergency exit doors with buddies head and heaving him into the shrubs.

I'm thinking ....tying him up in net with no equipment and let the boys do a little practice time??

[huntinstuff]

Bring him a nice home brewed cup of coffee........

[riden]

Originally Posted by CaberTosser

Pretty sad that among all the parents and spectators there that not a one of them has a pair. One would think there'd be a whole team of people opening the emergency exit doors with buddies head and heaving him into the shrubs.

And that is what makes me question if this story is true. I don't believe many parents would tolerate that for long.

[Jamie]

Shaggy.. We both know that the pressure is on our kids when they play that position.
I also believe that kids need to learn how to handle this stuff.

That being said, this guy has gone way over the line and I am not just talking about what happened during the injury.

Rule number one.. Always Cheer your team loudly
Rule number 2 NEVER Cheer against the other team

Hockey Calgary has all of us sitting on our hands when our kids do something great. There seems to be a misconception that we must be silent in the rink no matter what happens. God forbid we get reported to Respect in Sports people.

But I think the pendulum has swung to far.
I have no issues with noise makers for when your team scores or does something great. You don't have to shove it down the opposing teams neck.

I recall a Pee Wee game last year where one of the coaches (Goalies Dad) was complaining to the refs that people were making to much noise in the stands when someone scored against him. I was there, nothing was close to being out of line. But was that Coach hot. He was complaining loudly in the hallway and I took it upon myself to talk with him and let him know he was wrong. His reasoning... It disturbed his son. My reasoning.. Get used to it or don't play goal. This isn't golf.

Stand up and Cheer for your kids team, make some noise, get excited but remember NEVER EVER EVER Cheer against someone.

I recall the city championships 2 years ago that saw us in a sudden death game winner take all. The whole arena was packed. Not a seat to be had and the people were lined up 4 deep in the corners and all the way around the ice to the benches.

It was so loud in that arena that in order to talk with the kids, you had to lean down and talk into the ear hole of the helmets. The kids came out of the dressing room to such a ovation that they were awestruck. Each and everyone of them talks about it to this day. You could actually see the water bottles vibrating on the bench.. It was very cool.

Each and every game should be like that. It makes it extremely special and memorable for the kids.

The guy mentioned in the above story is clown and has no business being in a arena. Thankfully I have never witnessed anything like that and hope never to see it.

Jamie

[Shaggy]

AFAIK it is all true. The Dad of a goalie signed up to a message board based on youth hockey to ask advice on what to do about the situation. He would not divulge his specific location though.
Other parents started trying to help, but they were met with offers to fight, and no one seemed to want to do that. As he kept us up to date, he was much too patient with this guy, but eventually he was banned from the rink.

I was just so shocked that someone could repeatedly act like this, and even more shocked that everyone else was so passive about it. If that had happened up here, I really think that almost everyone in the stands would have escorted this guy out and had a chat in the parking lot. I know I would have led the group whether it was my kid or not.

It's all of our job at the rink to make sure our kids are treated with respect and given the chance to play and love the game.

[dumoulin]

This is why my kids don't play organized hockey. People lose all sense of when is right; more especially today, and also feel that they, and their children, are entitled to behave in any manner they feel appropriate all the while disregarding other feeling or even a sense of what is right. I grew up playing on the pond and turned out alright. I didn’t need my father and mother cheering me on.
I feel bad for the fellow, yet I don’t know why he would let this continue? Either pull the boy off the ice or pull the dad out and talk to him about how this is impacting his son. If that doesn’t work, he should slash his tires and sleep with his guy’s wife! LOL

[DiabeticKripple]

As the ref, I have told fans to put away their noise making devices because they are not allowed in rinks, and I need to be able to ear my partner at all times.

This guy crossed the line, and if I was the ref, I would definitely have him removed from the rink before resuming play. Problem is I bet you have 12 year old refs that don't know how to handle unruly fans. I've kicked 5 fans out and won't hesitate to do it again!

[Jamie]

Originally Posted by dumoulin

This is why my kids don't play organized hockey. People lose all sense of when is right; more especially today, and also feel that they, and their children, are entitled to behave in any manner they feel appropriate all the while disregarding other feeling or even a sense of what is right. I grew up playing on the pond and turned out alright. I didn’t need my father and mother cheering me on.
I feel bad for the fellow, yet I don’t know why he would let this continue? Either pull the boy off the ice or pull the dad out and talk to him about how this is impacting his son. If that doesn’t work, he should slash his tires and sleep with his guy’s wife! LOL

dUMOULIN.. Becouse of one guy in the USA you dont let your kids play hockey?

In all the years I have spent at the rink I have NEVER seen anything like what was posted above. Hockey parents are getting a super bad rap becouse some idiots make the news.

I believe people who dont let thier kids play hockey are actually doing a diservice to thier kids. Sure its not life changing but why not expose them to such a wonderfull sport?

Hockey parents are 99.9999% great. They are respectful, they are dedicated, they are good people. Why wouldnt a parent want to have thier kids around those types of people?

The "BAD" hockey Dad doesnt excist when it comes to looking at the vast amount of "GREAT" hockey parents. It's a one in 10,000 person who gets the news coverage. It's not worth reporting on when looking at the big picture.

Jamie

[Jamie]

Originally Posted by DiabeticKripple

As the ref, I have told fans to put away their noise making devices because they are not allowed in rinks, and I need to be able to ear my partner at all times.

This guy crossed the line, and if I was the ref, I would definitely have him removed from the rink before resuming play. Problem is I bet you have 12 year old refs that don't know how to handle unruly fans. I've kicked 5 fans out and won't hesitate to do it again!

Great point. How many games have you reffed?
Times that by about 60 people in the stands per game.

That should give you a idea of the % of super jerks.

Jamie

[greylynx]

Is it just me, or do a lot of my fellow AO members also have friends, neighbors, work associates etc. who were once big time into kids hockey, and have now gotten out of it with a good riddence.

Never to return.

When you ask these people why they left, you are asked how much time do you have to spend to listen to all the bad stuff associated with the sport.

[Dakota369]

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

Bring him a nice home brewed cup of coffee........

Good idea, but make it a nice piping hot cup of hot chocolate (1/2 and 1/2 exlax of course).............maybe even throw in some Bailey's to tempt him further, if he is in the little boys room he cannot do much harassing can he!!! To really cap it off get an air horn and set it off shout and jeer and beat on the side of the stall after extended bout of splashing!!!

[oyster_777]

Originally Posted by Jamie

dUMOULIN.. Becouse of one guy in the USA you dont let your kids play hockey?

In all the years I have spent at the rink I have NEVER seen anything like what was posted above. Hockey parents are getting a super bad rap becouse some idiots make the news.

I believe people who dont let thier kids play hockey are actually doing a diservice to thier kids. Sure its not life changing but why not expose them to such a wonderfull sport?

Hockey parents are 99.9999% great. They are respectful, they are dedicated, they are good people. Why wouldnt a parent want to have thier kids around those types of people?

The "BAD" hockey Dad doesnt excist when it comes to looking at the vast amount of "GREAT" hockey parents. It's a one in 10,000 person who gets the news coverage. It's not worth reporting on when looking at the big picture.

Jamie

You should go watch a U16 or U18 Boys Tier 1 Soccer game. Probably would make hockey parents (even the bad ones) look like angels. There are some real crackhead parents at these games and it does get ugly...

[riden]

Originally Posted by greylynx

Is it just me, or do a lot of my fellow AO members also have friends, neighbors, work associates etc. who were once big time into kids hockey, and have now gotten out of it with a good riddence.

Never to return.

When you ask these people why they left, you are asked how much time do you have to spend to listen to all the bad stuff associated with the sport.

I say the bad hockey parents are the worst crew to deal with. Perhaps it is because it is the national game, the high cost, or perhaps the level of contact?

My boys played hockey, baseball, soccer, basketball and boxed too. Hockey parents are the worst.

I have coached baseball, football and a ton of basketball, hardly ever a problem. Never have had rules for the parents, how many hockey coaches can say that?

[nekred]

Hockey parents... there is a reason for the respect in sport being mandatory...

Today I must say that it is much better than when i was a kid... Our team was up by 2 goals and anytime our team scored we cheered but not as big as on the first few goals because it is nice to cheer, and not nice to rub it in...

When the other team finally scored in third period in a 17-1 game I think we cheered more than the other fans because we felt so bad for the little guys trying to do their best!...

I always remember each one of the kids is someones kid so they really are all of our kids.

At our tournaments when i am in the time keepers becnh i love to announce the kids who scored, 1st assist and 2nd assist... I allways announce a first and second in my best announcer voice and the kids (and parents) love to hear their kids name being announce like at an NHL game!....

When the kids get a penalty I ask them if they want me to announce that too!... Some kids say no and so I don't because they feel bad and some smile and say yes!... then I do it... pretty funny reactions to that but always positive...

As for parents that use one isolated bad experience and say... That is why my kid is not in hockey.... Well then maybe they better not go hunting either because they might meet a poacher, or even go for a drive as they may be in an accident... You do what you can to insulate without isolating...

Or should I just pass you some bubblewrap wrap your kids in?

Now this guy was being a first class bunghole but should never have been tolerated by his own team!....

As for me I never meant to get as involved in hockey as I am. i am an assistant coach for 3 different teams and having a great amount of fun!... Seeing the kids smile, work hard, and learn is awesome.

[nekred]

PS I had to have parent rules for when I coach archery!...

[Okotokian]

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

Bring him a nice home brewed cup of coffee........

There's a Tim Hortons commercial in there somehere...

If I were the dad I'd make my wife very very angry... getting onvolved in an arena fist fight with that moron.

[Bigdad013]

I'm sure your not the only parent that has issues with this guy, get a few of them, stand outside by the doors and dont let the guy in. Make sure someone video tapes it, because he will probably get quite nasty.

[Okotokian]

Originally Posted by Bigdad013

I'm sure your not the only parent that has issues with this guy, get a few of them, stand outside by the doors and dont let the guy in. Make sure someone video tapes it, because he will probably get quite nasty.

It isn't the OP's experience. It was taken from an American source, hence the "I emailed USA Hockey last night..."

[kritofr]

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

Bring him a nice home brewed cup of coffee........

Yeah filled to the brim with Ex Lax, that way he will spend the remainder of the game sitting in the crapper,

Followed by another week of chocolate chip cookies with the chips being subsituted with EX lax again........

[DiabeticKripple]

Originally Posted by Jamie

Great point. How many games have you reffed?
Times that by about 60 people in the stands per game.

That should give you a idea of the % of super jerks.

Jamie

5 fans in 5 years at roughly 100 games a year.

so that works out to over 1 in a thousand, and the reasons i kick them out is for yelling at me, not the opposing team.

the best feeling is when a coach or parent is tearing me a new one, and i point at the door and say feel free to leave. the expression on their faces is priceless. in a coaches case, hes already gonna be suspended at that point, so if he does anything else it just makes his situation worse.

im human, i cant see every little hook or trip, i have to look through a maze of 10 players just to see the puck so im sorry if you dont like the call i make, but from MY PERSPECTIVE i made the right call. my partner might not see a hook, but from my angle i see what appears to be a penalty, so i call it. thats the way it goes. if you dont like it then you can GTFO of my rink.

without refs there is no hockey game, so cut them a break. especially the younger refs. we lose about half of all first years, and a big reason is coaches and parents being to hard on the kids.

when supervising these refs, i have stood up and told parents to keep their mouths shut because these refs are doing the best they can and they are learning.

one ref i know was being yelled at by parents, so he actually took his jersey off and started yelling at the fans "if any one of you want to do my job feel free!" not one person said a word after that.

/rant haha sorry

i hope i get to ref some of your kids games this year! post up what div they are in and what association and i will keep my eye out.

Jamie i do alot of PW1 and 2 so i bet we will run into each other, and possibly next year cause bantam 1 and 2 is where my home is right now

[Jamie]

Originally Posted by DiabeticKripple

5 fans in 5 years at roughly 100 games a year.

so that works out to over 1 in a thousand, and the reasons i kick them out is for yelling at me, not the opposing team.

the best feeling is when a coach or parent is tearing me a new one, and i point at the door and say feel free to leave. the expression on their faces is priceless. in a coaches case, hes already gonna be suspended at that point, so if he does anything else it just makes his situation worse.

im human, i cant see every little hook or trip, i have to look through a maze of 10 players just to see the puck so im sorry if you dont like the call i make, but from MY PERSPECTIVE i made the right call. my partner might not see a hook, but from my angle i see what appears to be a penalty, so i call it. thats the way it goes. if you dont like it then you can GTFO of my rink.

without refs there is no hockey game, so cut them a break. especially the younger refs. we lose about half of all first years, and a big reason is coaches and parents being to hard on the kids.

when supervising these refs, i have stood up and told parents to keep their mouths shut because these refs are doing the best they can and they are learning.

one ref i know was being yelled at by parents, so he actually took his jersey off and started yelling at the fans "if any one of you want to do my job feel free!" not one person said a word after that.

/rant haha sorry

i hope i get to ref some of your kids games this year! post up what div they are in and what association and i will keep my eye out.

Jamie i do alot of PW1 and 2 so i bet we will run into each other, and possibly next year cause bantam 1 and 2 is where my home is right now

Ok, thanks for the data.
Now if you were going to kick spectators out, how any would see the gate. I mean the super jerks, kinda like the guys you see on tv.
The people you threw out were they spectators or coaches?
Thanks
Jamie

[DiabeticKripple]

Originally Posted by Jamie

Ok, thanks for the data.
Now if you were going to kick spectators out, how any would see the gate. I mean the super jerks, kinda like the guys you see on tv.
The people you threw out were they spectators or coaches?
Thanks
Jamie

kinda confused on this question. can you re word it?

as for the people being thrown out, that was just spectators. ive had 4 coaches tossed, 2 in 1 game.

i made a call on a goal mid way through the second of a bantam a female game. the puck went in the net by about 1" but i was in position so i saw it. they thought it wasnt in. head coach blew up saying i was out of position and everything. i ignored him. next stoppage (a offside) my linesman was infront of their bench dropping the puck, and the coach was giving him an earful. so i gave the coach a bench minor and he lost it again. so i asked if he was done, he said no, so i said then you can leave. on the way out he kicked the spare stick pile over, so i gave him a gross misconduct (he got a 5 game suspension). at the end of the game with 2 secs left the one team lost 6-5 and the other coach as i was skating by said thanks for the loss ref. i turned around right away and asked him to leave too.

had these coaches had a discussion with me, instead of yelling i wouldnt of kicked them out! plain and simple.

one coach told me to read the rulebook after a nice discussion, so i kicked his ass out too. dont ever tell me to read the rulebook, cause i will throw it at you. i heard a story of one ref giving a coach a gross misconduct straight away cause the coach got his rulebook out. telling a ref to read the rulebook is a sure way to get suspended.

so total ive kicked 5 fans, and 4 coaches. coaches mainly get their emotions involved in the game, so i have a thicker skin when it comes to being yelled at by them, but fans i dont tolerate.

[Clgy_Dave2.0]

I don't believe the story....I think it's been embellished along the way.
First of all, it obviously is supposed to have happened in the States. And I'd like to know WHEN this happened.
Most rinks now days do not allow air sirens. And almost all Minor Hockey Associations would never allow that to go on. As well as most parents. In over 40 years of hockey, both as a minor hockey coach and player, I've never seen this happen like the story describes.

I think the story's been stretched each time it's been told.

[Shaggy]

Originally Posted by Calgary Dave

I don't believe the story....I think it's been embellished along the way.

I think the story's been stretched each time it's been told.

The quote I posted was copied directly from the original post made on Sept 26 this year. The father that this happened to wrote it himself. The quote is first hand from him.

Here is the link to the forum and you can read all the posts and judge for yourself.

http://youthhockeyforum.com/eve/foru...4920837151/p/1

[score]

I do think this parent is telling the truth and don't think the story has been embellished, however, I don't understand why people are putting up with it at all. I would think that they, as a group, or some management would do something about it. Sounds to me like it is very close to police intervention being an option. If the moron is impaired then definitely.

[Clgy_Dave2.0]

Originally Posted by Shaggy

The quote I posted was copied directly from the original post made on Sept 26 this year. The father that this happened to wrote it himself. The quote is first hand from him.

Here is the link to the forum and you can read all the posts and judge for yourself.

http://youthhockeyforum.com/eve/foru...4920837151/p/1

Yeah, I see there are many posters with the same feeling as I have...that the story is made up or embellished. Almost every other person said just as I did, most coaches, refs, associations would never put up with these kinds of actions. The OP also only has 6 posts, further leading me to believe he/she is a new hockey parent and exaggerating what's being done to "poor little Johnny".
Like was stated..."story sounds odd"