New hunter: a story of failure (or how I was humiliated by a chicken)

[Aged Milk]

Short version: it's not going well.

Long version made with way, way too much effort:

Peepeep the Grouse lived in a clump of spruce and aspen. On one side was the edge of a swampy clearing, where there was a wall of thick brush. On the other side, a trail where funny looking apes liked to pass, some riding freakish, monstrous-looking animals that never stopped roaring. Every morning, before the ape-things arrived, Peepeep would swoop out of his favourite spruce tree and eat on the ground. Then he’d go back and hide, and watch the monkeys and their monsters from the safety of his tree.

One day, about an hour after sunrise, Peepeep was looking for food next to the trail. He was surprised by one of the apes, which had arrived quietly on foot. The creature was green and brown, like it had covered itself in leaves and mud, and carried a long black object on its back. The ape jumped, also startled, and made its ooking and eeking noises. Perhaps it thought it had run into a bear. Peepeep scrambled into the thick brush, but it wasn’t necessary.

The furless mammal ignored him and continued on its way, clearly disinterested. Soon after, Peepeep heard thunderous sounds. Peering through the branches, he could see the ape crouched in the clearing. It was pointing the stick at a little circular leaf. The stick made loud noises, and holes appeared in the leaf, as if by magic.

Peepeep continued to look for food. This ape was no threat.

He was right. It definitely wasn’t a threat. Not because it wasn’t going to try to kill him, but because it was a bloody cretin. No, this wouldn’t be the last he’d see of the ape with the magic stick. Not even close.

Seven days later, Peepeep was standing next to the trail. He had almost finished his dinner, and was about to roost in his spruce for the night. It was then that the ape reappeared.

The upright monkey was the same lanky, vulture-nosed ugly bastard Peepeep had startled the week before. This time though, it had stuck a single giant orange leaf to its chest. A smaller orange leaf rested on its head. Instead of the black object on its back, it was carrying a wooden stick in its hands. And it was moving very, very slowly.

I’m trying to fill my crop here, a-hole, he thought. All the other grouse in the area were dead, but he figured he should send a warning anyway. Just in case.

“Watch-out! Watch-out! Watch-out!” he peeped.

The ape’s head snapped around. It was looking right at him. It raised the magic stick.

Peepeep zipped beneath a dead young spruce. The branches dipped to the ground and formed a sort of cocoon around him. He muttered aloud.

“Eff off, go find your own gravel.”

Peering between the branches, Peepeep could see the ape crane its neck and squint at the sound. It must have been able to see some part of him. It pointed its magic stick at a gap in the ‘cocoon’.

Bang! Something made a cracking noise right beside Peepeep’s head. He remained still. Apes couldn’t see you if you were still. They were blind and extremely stupid.

Bang! Twigs snapped just beside his wing.

“Alright, you can have this damn gravel,” Peepeep said, and casually trotted away in the opposite direction. He looked back from a distance, and watched the ape-thing walk around the dead spruce cocoon eighteen times, staring at it from every angle like an absolute moron. It made a final, angry-sounding “ook ook ook!”, then left the way it came.

“Ha ha, I hope a grizzly gives you a colonoscopy,” Peepeep clucked after it.

Seven days later, the ape was back a third time. Much earlier though, just when the sun had poked out from the horizon. Same orange leaves stuck to it, same magic stick in its hands.

Peepeep had just gotten down from his tree for the morning when he spotted it. He’d been foraging in a patch of low ground, just outside of a thick bush at the swampy edge of his spruce clump. He watched the ape crash back and forth through the thicket on the high ground above him, moving with the all subtlety of an epileptic bull moose. It looked tired and clumsy.

It was time to teach the clueless monkey a lesson.

“Hey, cloaca-face,” he clucked, as loudly as he could, “you couldn’t hit a sleeping elk with that thing if it was five feet in front of you!”

The lanky ape spun around, and pulled a twig that stuck from the side of his magic stick. It made a click-click sound.

Peepeep pointed his rump at the ape and shook his tail. “Kiss my fat feathery ass!”

Just as the ape raised the magic stick, Peepeep took off into the air and zipped to his favourite spruce. In the corner of his eye, he could see the monkey’s head following to track his flight. And failing. No sound came from the magic stick.

The monkey spent the next thirty minutes looking at every branch on every trunk of every tree except for Peepeep’s. Then, with a sly look on its dumb face, it noisily stomped away. When it returned twenty minutes later, trying to act all stealthy, Peepeep was still in his tree.

Nuh-uh, nice try, he thought, how stupid do you think I am? Three of my sisters fell for that trick.

Once the monkey had wasted a further eternity inspecting every spruce trunk other than the right one, it made some abrupt ‘ook eek ook!’ sounds and stormed off down the trail.

“That’s right,” Peepeep said. “This is my gravel.”

The ape was defeated.

For now.

To be continued…?

I've been out three times, had four sightings of grouse (three of which were almost certainly the same individual). Shot twice, missed twice. Bagged zero. In my defense, I'm not a bad shot (long time in the military, PAL for years and years, lots of target shooting). But clearly I'm doing something wrong.

I've researched all the typical advice, in terms of habitat locations and so on, but I haven't had much luck. I've been hunting in the 406 area, early and late in the day, trying to stick to forest edges with thick brush and old/new growth borders. It's starting to get kind of frustrating. Any suggestions for what I might be doing wrong?

[jungleboy]

Originally Posted by Aged Milk

]

I've been out three times, had four sightings of grouse (three of which were almost certainly the same individual). Shot twice, missed twice. Bagged zero. In my defense, I'm not a bad shot (long time in the military, PAL for years and years, lots of target shooting). But clearly I'm doing something wrong.

I've researched all the typical advice, in terms of habitat locations and so on, but I haven't had much luck. I've been hunting in the 406 area, early and late in the day, trying to stick to forest edges with thick brush and old/new growth borders. It's starting to get kind of frustrating. Any suggestions for what I might be doing wrong?

Park the .22 and grab a shotty. Modified choke … puts the odds in your favour

[Aged Milk]

Originally Posted by jungleboy

Park the .22 and grab a shotty. Modified choke … puts the odds in your favour

Yeah, I've heard mixed things about using a .22. Apparently it's doable, but I need an unobstructed shot on the ground. Unfortunately I'm cash-strapped, so this season it's all I've got to work with.

[obsessed1]

Dont give up. I was out today and filled my limit with a 22lr. Know your range and as long as your 22 can hit a pop can at 50 yds you should do fine. I generally shoot for the neck/ breast junction. Skeak up for an un obstructed shot and youll be eating grouse for dinner one of these days.

[obsessed1]

Do you know your zero? Can you make consistent first round hits on small targets at 30-50 yds? You'll need to be able to hit a target area smaller than a pop can but if you can constantly hit a pop can you should do alright. Keep at it once the pieces fall together youll be glad you did

[Aged Milk]

Originally Posted by obsessed1

Do you know your zero? Can you make consistent first round hits on small targets at 30-50 yds? You'll need to be able to hit a target area smaller than a pop can but if you can constantly hit a pop can you should do alright. Keep at it once the pieces fall together youll be glad you did

Yes, yes, and yes. I zeroed the rifle carefully, and, like I said, I can shoot alright. Better than an Imperial stormtrooper. pretty sure I missed the shots on my nemesis Peepeep because I hit the thicket in front of him.

I think one of my issues is that I'm hunting a heavily used area, where only the smartest grouse survive. I'm going to take a look at some other spots where perhaps fewer hunters have culled the dunces.

[58thecat]

Originally Posted by jungleboy

Park the .22 and grab a shotty. Modified choke … puts the odds in your favour

7 1/2 shot

Stand in his wings and pull his legs upwards

Eat that bastard


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[KGB]

Personally I don’t like shotty when hunting grouse. I use .22, head shots only. Don’t want to bruise the meat. I can hit the head from 20-50 meters… some people I know can’t hit the bird from 20’ with a shotgun….
He will claim that he did hit two with one shot but don’t believe him— the second one died from the heart attach!

[jungleboy]

Originally Posted by KGB

Personally I don’t like shotty when hunting grouse. I use .22, head shots only. Don’t want to bruise the meat. I can hit the head from 20-50 meters… some people I know can’t hit the bird from 20’ with a shotgun….
He will claim that he did hit two with one shot but don’t believe him— the second one died from the heart attach!

Shotgun gives you options you don’t have with a .22.
If a bird is up in a tree it really isn’t safe to shoot a rimfire in the air. If a bird flys you have the option of a wing shot ( some would say that should be the only option but I’m not in that camp) .
Shooting grouse on a rd with a .22 rifle is a no go but you can shoot them with a shotgun
Grouse like to hang out on roads at certain times of the day .I know this because I have witnessed this behaviour.

My count so is far 57 grouse sighted so far this year in 4 hunting days. 20 birds taken between my partner and I, 15 Ruffies and 5 spruce .
I’ve been at it with a Winchester Model 37 12 ga single shot and a Turkish built single shot 20 ga. My partner shoots an old Savage mod24, 22 over 20 ga

[KGB]

We have our own preferences JB. I do agree with what you say thou. Still, if I can’t harvest the bird with a head shot- it will see another day. So far this year I have been out twice. Saw lots of birds, most of them were very well educated and skittish… it was fun fun fun… one day we drove around for a few hours and haven’t had much luck until we turn into this one very special road… it was loaded with birds!

[brie21]

isnt it a funny thing how well the grouse can evade us!
plenty of grouse under my belt but yesterday i had 2 chances while bow hunting, first ruffie, shot missed, bird bobbed its head, obviously offended but uninjured. I had to go retrieve my only judo point arrow but briefly thought about launching a broadhead arrow even though i know thats a really really bad idea. second ruffie, perched perfectly on a dead log 10yds out..... buried the judo point in the log below the bird and again a slightly offended bird casually strutted off unharmed taunting me and challenging me to lose a broadhead arrow haha. I now have a chunk of log to extract my point out of....
there was also the time a road was named "lucky chicken road" where i determined i suck at shooting grouse with a 22 equipped with red dot sight

[jungleboy]

Originally Posted by KGB

We have our own preferences JB. I do agree with what you say thou. Still, if I can’t harvest the bird with a head shot- it will see another day. So far this year I have been out twice. Saw lots of birds, most of them were very well educated and skittish… it was fun fun fun… one day we drove around for a few hours and haven’t had much luck until we turn into this one very special road… it was loaded with birds!

Don't get me wrong I have no problem with the use of the .22, just making a case for the shotgun. I have used a slingshot in the past as well.

One of my favourite grouse stories happened to me probably close to 40 yrs ago. I was shooting at one with an old open sight cooey .22. I shot 5 rounds at him and missed every time, finally I walked up to it and smacked him in the head with the rifle stock. I could not believe it never moved until I knocked him senseless with the gun stock. ( hand on the bible true story)

I agree the birds for the most part have been quite skittish for so early in the season. I always say the slow witted birds taste the best.

[KGB]

Another reason why I don’t like using the shotgun is the noise… My ears are ringing after every shot… Or you have to wear the ear protection while walking the roads…And that is no fun because I can’t hear them rustling thru the grass and leaves…
I tried shooting shorties, the 13/4” shot shells. They are much quieter but my semi auto does not cycle them, so it is a single shot deal.
As for a funny story, I have one too. A few years back I was hunting with my buddy, he shot the bird dead and the second one-a male- came out to his dead girlfriend and started his horny dance around it, lol! He ended up joining his girlfriend on a frying pan.

[jungleboy]

Originally Posted by KGB

Another reason why I don’t like using the shotgun is the noise… My ears are ringing after every shot… Or you have to wear the ear protection while walking the roads…And that is no fun because I can’t hear them rustling thru the grass and leaves…
I tried shooting shorties, the 13/4” shot shells. They are much quieter but my semi auto does not cycle them, so it is a single shot deal.
As for a funny story, I have one too. A few years back I was hunting with my buddy, he shot the bird dead and the second one-a male- came out to his dead girlfriend and started his horny dance around it, lol! He ended up joining his girlfriend on a frying pan.

So romantic!

[JonC]

Originally Posted by KGB

Personally I don’t like shotty when hunting grouse. I use .22, head shots only. Don’t want to bruise the meat. I can hit the head from 20-50 meters… some people I know can’t hit the bird from 20’ with a shotgun….

He will claim that he did hit two with one shot but don’t believe him— the second one died from the heart attach!

I routinely get head shots on grouse with my 12g using 7 1/2 shot and modified choke.

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[Stinky Buffalo]

Great story, Aged Milk! Very creative.

One of my kids submitted something similar for a writing assignment (although it was more of a Hinterland Who's Who style).

A .22 is all I'll use (when I'm not bowhunting). I have a .410 for the young'uns and beginners. My youngest limited out on Saturday with excellent shots from my trusty old Brno.

If you can shoot the top lid off a water bottle at ten paces then you should be all right.

They can sure make a person work for it! My first-ever grouse with a bow ducked just enough on my first shot to avoid having his head taken off. Lost two arrows on that bird! Grrr.

Originally Posted by jungleboy

So romantic!

Ah yes, the most poignant romance stories end in tragedy.

[aragor764]

Don't give up! I always carry my little Winchester Wildcat around when WT hunting, it is equipped with a red dot and I am getting pretty good with it, its all about repetition, get yourself one of those steel rimfire targets thing, it has helped me greatly this year, the targets are about the size of the base of the neck of a grouse, hit those at all sorts of distances and you'll get good at it.

[Aged Milk]

Originally Posted by aragor764

Don't give up! I always carry my little Winchester Wildcat around when WT hunting, it is equipped with a red dot and I am getting pretty good with it, its all about repetition, get yourself one of those steel rimfire targets thing, it has helped me greatly this year, the targets are about the size of the base of the neck of a grouse, hit those at all sorts of distances and you'll get good at it.

It's less the marksmanship that's getting to me, more the lack of finding anything. And now that the snow's down, word is that grouse behavior and locations change.

Anyone have advice specific to hunting grouse in the snow? I've heard things about looking at evergreens in sheltered areas / valleys / creekbeds, and that catkins and buds are the main source of food. I think.

[jungleboy]

Originally Posted by Aged Milk

It's less the marksmanship that's getting to me, more the lack of finding anything. And now that the snow's down, word is that grouse behavior and locations change.

Anyone have advice specific to hunting grouse in the snow? I've heard things about looking at evergreens in sheltered areas / valleys / creekbeds, and that catkins and buds are the main source of food. I think.

They are a lot easier to spot with snow on the ground. Like most game, there is increased activity after a storm.
It could be that the area you are hunting is in a down cycle. Grouse cycle all over but not everywhere at the same time. The bottom end of a cycle in your area may be the top end of a population cycle in another area.

Here is a good example of some helpful YouTube videos on the topic .

https://youtu.be/rdwmD32NJRA?si=y2DGuwU5O-eTa16I

[Aged Milk]

Originally Posted by jungleboy

They are a lot easier to spot with snow on the ground. Like most game, there is increased activity after a storm.
It could be that the area you are hunting is in a down cycle. Grouse cycle all over but not everywhere at the same time. The bottom end of a cycle in your area may be the top end of a population cycle in another area.

Here is a good example of some helpful YouTube videos on the topic .

https://youtu.be/rdwmD32NJRA?si=y2DGuwU5O-eTa16I

Yeah, I've gone through a lot of that guy's videos. There's also a guy called "FarNorthGuy" who's put out some useful information.

At this point, if I can eat one single meal of grouse before the end of the season, I'll consider it a huge victory. Well, at least I could be doing worse things than legging it out in the bush. I get my cardio in.

[jungleboy]

Originally Posted by Aged Milk

Yeah, I've gone through a lot of that guy's videos. There's also a guy called "FarNorthGuy" who's put out some useful information.

At this point, if I can eat one single meal of grouse before the end of the season, I'll consider it a huge victory. Well, at least I could be doing worse things than legging it out in the bush. I get my cardio in.

It’s better than a good day at work

[anigh89]

This is my first year hunting grouse, so far weve gotten 7 in two trips. Ive bagged three personally. With the .22 and head shots, I tried the shotgun but prefer the .22. I walk and flush them then look carefully where they go, often in a tree, get as close as I can and shoot out of the tree. No wasted meat with the .22.

Where exactly are you looking?

[58thecat]

Originally Posted by JonC

I routinely get head shots on grouse with my 12g using 7 1/2 shot and modified choke.

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Me too but just the other day at 5 paces I blew it....all to pieces

A little too low

[Aged Milk]

Originally Posted by anigh89

This is my first year hunting grouse, so far weve gotten 7 in two trips. Ive bagged three personally. With the .22 and head shots, I tried the shotgun but prefer the .22. I walk and flush them then look carefully where they go, often in a tree, get as close as I can and shoot out of the tree. No wasted meat with the .22.

Where exactly are you looking?

Edges of evergreen forests near creeks, ideally with thick cover. The places I've gone are heavily used by ATVs though, so that might be affecting my luck.

[Mountain Guy]

I'm guessing your hunting an area that is experiencing a low cycle of grouse numbers.. Or an area that had a wet cold spring with poor hatches.
I've put many many km's on my boots this year hunting elk and have only seen 2 grouse while walking.
Try a different zone.
Now with snow, if you can find gravel lease roads going thru mixed forest area's that may have been recently graded , the grouse will be near ( well .. on ) the roads picking gravel. Sunny mornings and last hour before dark are generally best.
Good luck getting peeppeep..

[Robins36]

I live in Sturgeon County and I had two Peeppeeps commit suicide on my house this weekend. One took out a large window in our kitchen and the other hit our patio door. The one that broke the window, broke its neck. The second one fluttered down the deck until the dogs got it. I have now declared war on all ruffed grouse!

[JonC]

Originally Posted by 58thecat

Me too but just the other day at 5 paces I blew it....all to pieces



A little too low

lol, that sucks.

Went out with my little girl today. Added another 4 to the total. No meat damage

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[Aged Milk]

I went out yesterday and it was the worst one yet. Didn't see a single grouse, not even tracks. A total skunk. That's four outings and zero in the bag. Still trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong, since it looks like other people are having no trouble finding them. Maybe I really am in the wrong place.

Even the spot where I'd ran into "Peeppeep" lacked any tracks or scat. It was kind of an exposed copse of trees, and I've heard that grouse move into larger evergreen areas when it starts getting cold.

[Stinky Buffalo]

Bah, don't get discouraged.

One thing about those birds... They are always on the move. And they can move pretty quickly. They look deceptively slow when you see them locking down in your presence, but as soon as they get some distance, they put on the afterburners and poof, they've disappeared!

Saving energy by flying only when necessary...

[aragor764]

Also another thing I never realized is that they live their entire lives pretty much in the same are, so if you spot one someday and it goes away, there is a good chance that it will still be around there somewhere later on. They seem to manifest out of thin air whenever you are NOT hunting them, especially while walking in the bush and trying to stay quiet...