Any older parents here?

[bloopbloob]

Quite random, but wouldn't mind hearing others stories. Been going through a lot with my wifes health recently. If she's okay and not dying, we have decided we would like to have a child together as soon as we find out it would be okay. Time is kind of running out. We had decided on it before we found out she could have late stage lung cancer. Really threw a wrench into the works, and is pushing it off even later. We each have one child from past relationships, and we are 35 and 36 years old. Her daughter is 15 and mine is 4. I feel like this is fairly late in life for having a baby, but we both also want that special bond of having a child together. Thoughts or experiences? Just looking to hear from some people who may have some experience or knowledge of having a child, somewhat later in life. Thanks

[huntinstuff]

35 is far from old

I dont see any issues as far as age goes

If you were 50, id say zip it.

But 35? Rock on

[bloopbloob]

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

35 is far from old

I know. But it is on the older side of the baby making game...

[Dick284]

The Pit Boss burst onto the scene when Mrs.D and I were both 35, I dunno, it seemed very natural to us.

[huntinstuff]

Originally Posted by bloopbloob

I know. But it is on the older side of the baby making game...

Hell no!!!!

A 50 year old dad with a 15 yr old kid? Awesome for both

[Ken H]

My wife and I were 38 and 40 when we our conr and only child. The only issue I can see is being older parents when she is grown up. The fact that we are much more financially secure almost make me think we did it the right way.

[Dick284]

Originally Posted by bloopbloob

I know. But it is on the older side of the baby making game...

I disrupted my parents way of living when mom was 40 and dad was 46(I have 3 older siblings, one was almost 19 when I was born)..... it ain’t earth shattering, but was definitely a bit weird when dad took retirement and I was only in grade 9! Alas we had some awesome summer fishing trips while I was in high school.

[huntinstuff]

Originally Posted by Ken H

My wife and I were 38 and 40 when we our conr and only child. The only issue I can see is being older parents when she is grown up. The fact that we are much more financially secure almost make me think we did it the right way.

Lots of truth there

I have kids from 3 different decades. All have unique perspectives based on my stage in life when they entered. Its all good!!!!

[mattthegorby]

Had my last kid at 39... I am 48 now and it was the best decision ever. We have our other kids at a similar age spread as what you have. I was never counting the years for them to grow up, starting it all again has been great for us.

[boonedocks]

My mother was 46 and Dad was 49 when I was born?! Can we say “oops”!! I wouldn’t recommend waiting that long!😂

[bowhunter9841]

My youngest will be 6 right away here. We started young, having our first at 22, and it’s kinda nice having a 14 year old right now. By 40, our youngest will be 10 years old, and I think it will be pretty awesome to only be 50, when my youngest gets into their 20’s. I do know a few people who are just starting to have children at 35 as well. I think that it would be easier financially, chances are that you both have decent careers. You’re probably a bit more patient than you were when you were younger as well. I think the only thing that will suck, is dealing with the late night feedings and diaper changes. We definitely aren’t as quick to bounce back as we were in our 20’s. I hope your wife recovers fully from her health problems. And that you get the chance to have your new baby!

[CaberTosser]

We had our son at 38, he's 10 now. We'd do it again in a heartbeat right now.

Sly Stallone's ex wife Brigette Nielsen is 55 and she just had a baby this June.....

[CMichaud]

Better to have them young IMHO. More time on Earth God willing to spend with them.

Having said this 35 is not too old by a long stretch. I had mine at 36 and 41.

I am cautious with my money and have been on leave since the youngest was born. I know I will eventually go back to working but would rather spend as much time with them as I can. You never know when things will go sideways in life.

Having said all this, the later you wait the greater the risk of difficulties. An example is the increased risk of Down Syndrome.

https://www.parents.com/health/down-...down-syndrome/

But there is one key risk factor for Down syndrome: maternal age. A 25-year-old woman has a 1 in 1,200 chance of having a baby with Down syndrome; by 35, the risk has increased to 1 in 350; by age 40, to 1 in 100; and by 49, it's 1 in 10, according to the National Down Syndrome Society.

[DiabeticKripple]

My dad was 38, and my mom 32 when I was born.

No issues whatsoever.

The only thing I can think of is that I will be a bit younger when they pass.

[pa_of_6]

Really... need a child to feel a special bond!!!

Kinda screwed up if u ask me.


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[Sooner]

Had my last at 32, she is 18 now. There should be no issue with your ages. If the docs give her a green light, get busy making a baby. I guess the big worry is, can she fight the fight while pregnant, Anyone who has had a kid has seen how it wears down a woman by the time 9 months rolls around.

One of my good friends wife found out she had cancer of her lady parts just after she got prego, she had a healthy baby boy and won the fight. Kid and mama are fine 18 yrs later. I wish this for your wife.

I hope you two can fulfill this wish to have a kid together.

[bloopbloob]

Originally Posted by pa_of_6

Really... need a child to feel a special bond!!!

Kinda screwed up if u ask me.


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Well thanks, Pa of 6.

I never said we needed a child to have a bond. We WANT a child together. It is something special that we want to experience together. I'd like to be rude, but I'll take the high ground.

PS thanks to all others who have responded. All info/stories are appreciated. Not a decision we take lightly.

[bloopbloob]

Originally Posted by Sooner

Had my last at 32, she is 18 now. There should be no issue with your ages. If the docs give her a green light, get busy making a baby. I guess the big worry is, can she fight the fight while pregnant, Anyone who has had a kid has seen how it wears down a woman by the time 9 months rolls around.

One of my good friends wife found out she had cancer of her lady parts just after she got prego, she had a healthy baby boy and won the fight. Kid and mama are fine 18 yrs later. I wish this for your wife.

I hope you two can fulfill this wish to have a kid together.

Thanks Sooner. We still don't know 100% what it is. Few more tests next week should give answers. Certainly not going forward if it is cancer. More looking on the positive side, if it isn't cancer, what to expect as older parents.

[HeavyD111]

My brother was 48 when he had his first child..younger wife mind you but still up there, and it has been a great experience.

[Red Bullets]

Bloop... You first post mentions your wife's health may be compromised. It is hard for a woman to conceive if she is unhealthy or stressed. Get her and yourself to a good place physically with diet and good sleep before you consider having a baby. Then it should be easy to make a healthy baby and keep your wife healthy. Good luck to you if that is your decision.

My son and his wife just had their first, a healthy baby girl, last week. My son is 38 and she 36.

[bloopbloob]

Originally Posted by Red Bullets

Bloop... You first post mentions your wife's health may be compromised. It is hard for a woman to conceive if she is unhealthy or stressed. Get her and yourself to a good place physically with diet and good sleep before you consider having a baby. Then it should be easy to make a healthy baby and keep your wife healthy.

My son and his wife just had their first, a healthy baby girl, last week. My son is 38 and she 36.

Good luck to you if that is your decision.

Thanks for your response. I know her health is utmost importance. We made this decision, just weeks before we found out the possibly very bad news, and have put it on hold. Should have actual definitive answers after next weeks round of tests, finally. If all clear, this is something we want to go through with, and excited about. We are just getting older, and I have concerns about that

[Red Bullets]

Originally Posted by bloopbloob

Thanks for your response. I know her health is utmost importance. We made this decision, just weeks before we found out the possibly very bad news, and have put it on hold. Should have actual definitive answers after next weeks round of tests, finally. If all clear, this is something we want to go through with, and excited about. We are just getting older, and I have concerns about that

Older, hah ... My kids are older than you. They think they are older and wiser than me. It's amusing.

[bobtodrick]

I was 48 when my first was born and 50 when number two came along.
Figured I was a confirmed bachelor and than at 40 met the love of my love and robbed the cradle...she was 22.
For me it was the right decision.
By the time I was 40 all the goofy stuff one does when they are younger was out of the way. As well there wasn't the issue of feeling 'cheated' because I was home changing diapers while by pals were all out at the bar...those days were behind me.
I also had much more patience than when I was young...and we all know children can try your patience.
I can go out to the local playground and play with our RC cars (and such). Hey, I'm just being a good father right...let a 50 year old stand out in field all alone playing with 'toys' and everyone just thinks he's sad
It keeps you thinking young.
So now I'm 64, and I'm writing this before they get up...then we're leaving for a weeks camping trip with just the three of us. And that's another plus. They are now 14 and 17...guess who's doing all the camp set up and such while I sit back and sip a beer?
That's actually the way it's been for centuries. Marrying mainly for love is a 20 century invention. Before that older men married younger women because they were established, had money and wanted to continue their lineage. The women looked at someone older as being stable, having some money and prestige.

[MrDave]

Originally Posted by bloopbloob

Quite random, but wouldn't mind hearing others stories. Been going through a lot with my wifes health recently. If she's okay and not dying, we have decided we would like to have a child together as soon as we find out it would be okay. Time is kind of running out. We had decided on it before we found out she could have late stage lung cancer. Really threw a wrench into the works, and is pushing it off even later. We each have one child from past relationships, and we are 35 and 36 years old. Her daughter is 15 and mine is 4. I feel like this is fairly late in life for having a baby, but we both also want that special bond of having a child together. Thoughts or experiences? Just looking to hear from some people who may have some experience or knowledge of having a child, somewhat later in life. Thanks

I'm turning 52 this year, and my daughter just turned 5. So much easier this time around. It helps that the wife is 25. Only got a couple of minutes before I got to run so I will keep it short.
Loving life having a child this point of life. Lots of fun times

[heybert]

Had my first child when I was turning 42 and my twins were born after I turned 44. Have to put off getting my 2 seater sports car another ten years. But I'll be retired before they are out of school so I will have more time to spend with them. Financially, have everything set up so I can actually retire when I plan to (8 years time).

[big zeke]

#1 showed up when I was 38, #2 when I was 40. Waiting (wasn't really our choice but you play the cards you're dealt) means being more financially stable and set in routines, this is a lot more boring than younger parents scrambling to pay bills...boring is good.

Dangerfield said half the fun of kids is making them...more than half some days.

I expect I will be retired with kids at home but that will be fine, love having them around and watching them mature while I don't. Focus on them while they are around, this doesn't last forever.

Hug them every day
Zeke

[Smokinyotes]

Holy crap guys. I thought I was old when my youngest was born. I was 34.

[buckbrush]

I have always thought the earlier the better.
Had my kids when I was 19 and 23.

Although I don't regret a thing about it and wouldn't change it for the world.

Financially it was tough, having children later would have made it easier as we were just starting out at the time.

In our rural area most of the moms in my kids class are much older than my wife. (she was 18 when we had first one) she has always felt that since she is a young mother she has to go the extra mile to try and do a good job at helping with school, sports, 'snack mom', ect.

I always thought being a younger dad would make me the 'cool' dad. It didn't according to my oldest (now 10) I am not very cool at all.

I don't see anything wrong with having kids at 36.
"best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago, second best time is now."
Go for it and have fun...

[JB_AOL]

There is no "right time" to have kids. There are so many variables, only you can answer that.

To me, it sounds like you guys need to think about your wife's health a bit more.

Pregnancy is crazy hard on a woman's body, some women recover completely and continue on like pre-pregnancy, but, more often than not, that is not the case. You also need to consider that whatever health issue your wife has, could be passed onto the kid.

[sdb8440]

I had one daughter at 27 and a second at 41. I know that I am more patient and thoughtful with the second, even though the second is a bigger challenge than the first one in terms of behavior. Rock on sir and enjoy it!