That darn bottle.

[bat119]

It's a hard fight you have to realize that you are the only one that can win the battle nobody else can do it for you, most can't win this fight. I've lost so many friends and coworkers I could fill pages with their stories.

One that sticks out, just this past week is a fellow I worked with was picked up outside a liquor store drinking in his car waiting for it to open, this DUI will send him to jail again then after he's released it will be a rinse and repeat he already has enough AA black marbles to fill a beer glass, he's only about 50 years old he doesn't think he has a problem.

[Pathfinder76]

Originally Posted by Sundancefisher

If someone is using as an occasional social event… is one thing.

If someone is using as an escape… it’s another.

If constantly using to the point of impairing faculties… it’s a strong sign

If one makes excuses for using all the time it’s becoming obvious to others

If one can’t stop or doesn’t want to for a while… it’s an addiction.

I’ve never touched the stuff ever. I’ve been mocked for that decision. Am I missing out? Have I made a poor choice?

[densa44]

We have excellent advice, personal experience, and sad results.
I'm very impressed at the sincerity of this post, but sadly the one doing the drinking must want to change, and no one ever cured an alcoholic.
Of all interventions, AA has the best record.
I wish that I could help more, but as has been said drinking leads to a very sad variety of ends. It ruins everything.
I think that you deserve a lot of credit for trying to help, all the other members on here who have tried to help their friends. Do you know that we have more suicides than motor vehicle deaths?
Excellent post.

[1899b]

Originally Posted by Pathfinder76

I’ve never touched the stuff ever. I’ve been mocked for that decision. Am I missing out? Have I made a poor choice?

I’m 50 and have been sober since this past April 16th. You have not missed out on anything when it comes to your abstinence of alcohol. Congrats on having never gave in to social pressure when it came to alcohol. That’s plain discipline and thinking for yourself.

[6.5 shooter]

Originally Posted by Pathfinder76

I’ve never touched the stuff ever. I’ve been mocked for that decision. Am I missing out? Have I made a poor choice?

You have missed nothing .... Good on you!

[roper1]

Originally Posted by Pathfinder76

I’ve never touched the stuff ever. I’ve been mocked for that decision. Am I missing out? Have I made a poor choice?

I've had a lot of very enjoyable times over a drink or 24.Very, very little anymore, as our tastes change. I wouldn't mock you for your choice, but you're pretty high up on your horse.......

[Jims83cj5]

Me or my wife will have a drink or two at most events, I’ll have two cocaine beers at a flames game, a couple at a house party and so on. If I have two then I’ll Uber and so would my wife. I would call that being a responsible adult. If you are falling down drunk and do it often then ya I see your concerns but you never wrote that. I highly doubt he would not take meds because he can’t drink using them, I’d say that is someone’s opinion. He would more likely take the meds and continue to drink if this was the case. Is there cause to worry, I don’t know, you left a lot of info out to have complete strangers on an outdoor forum make a informed decision. Lots of people did offer their opinion without all the information but hey,,,that’s the internet. If what you wrote is the exact scenario then I can’t say he has a problem or not, but if that’s all there is then you should not hang out with him and he doesn’t need you being a nosey Karen in his life either. If is worse than you say in your post then ya, maybe a conversation is needed. Pretty sure most all of us do something that all the perfect people out there don’t like and talk about behind everyone’s back.

[JD848]

There is not one guy or gal who is not addict on this site,whether it be food, hunting , pot,booze , women, sex, drugs,prescription drugs .ETC religion in large amounts is just as dangerous as anything else thinking praying will take care of all your problems and forgive you for all your sins .wrong Last but not least is money and greed ,so many happy rich folks???.

Lots of sober crooks out there ,they need to be more straight to steel more,no cuff. they see no harm in profiting and putting others in finacial trouble.To many getting loans who should not be getting a dime,but there addiction blinds them .

Every person is responsible for his values in life , family is top priority and how any of your addictions interferer's with there lives . This then needs to be looked at hard . Being online all day avoiding your child's time is a bad addiction.

Bottom line is the person has to realize why his addiction is harming himself or his loved ones or close friends . Some never realize this till there dying and they died by there own addiction ,some can take a drink and be the best parent and mentor there is and live to be 90 .

Were all wired differently so being happy with what you have and yourself in every avenue of life is what keeps you from being a total addict in which you harm yourself or others .BY the way I pray everyday for what I have showing my respect to my creator ,not for my sins or my needs ,those only I can correct myself .

I would rather sit with an honest drinker then a sober liar ,seems to be more of those around then drunks. Myself I stopped years ago on the booze, but if a friend comes over and I enjoy there company I will tilt one or 2 back ,if I can't trust myself over 2 drinks then I have a problem.

Cheers
JD

[eric2381]

Originally Posted by JD848

There is not one guy or gal who is not addict on this site,whether it be food, hunting , pot,booze , women, sex, drugs,prescription drugs .ETC religion in large amounts is just as dangerous as anything else thinking praying will take care of all your problems and forgive you for all your sins .wrong Last but not least is money and greed ,so many happy rich folks???.

Lots of sober crooks out there ,they need to be more straight to steel more,no cuff. they see no harm in profiting and putting others in finacial trouble.To many getting loans who should not be getting a dime,but there addiction blinds them .

Every person is responsible for his values in life , family is top priority and how any of your addictions interferer's with there lives . This then needs to be looked at hard .

Bottom line is the person has to realize why his addiction is harming himself or his loved ones or close friends . Some never realize this till there dying and they died by there own addiction ,some can take a drink and be the best parent and mentor there is and live to be 90 .

Were all wired differently so being happy with what you have and yourself in every avenue of life is what keeps you from being a total addict in which you harm yourself or others .BY the way I pray everyday for what I have showing my respect to my creator ,not for my sins or my needs ,those only I can correct myself .

I would rather sit with an honest drinker then a sober liar ,seems to be more of those around then drunks. Myself I stopped years ago on the booze, but if a friend comes over and I enjoy there company I will tilt one or 2 back ,if I can't trust myself over 2 drinks then I have a problem.

Cheers
JD

Very well said JD. All around it comes down to strength and discipline in yourself to be successful and happy in life. Stay humble too.

[Joes]

Originally Posted by Jims83cj5

…. I highly doubt he would not take meds because he can’t drink using them, I’d say that is someone’s opinion. He would more likely take the meds and continue to drink if this was the case. Is there cause to worry, I don’t know, you left a lot of info out to have complete strangers on an outdoor forum make a informed decision. Lots of people did offer their opinion without all the information but hey,,,that’s the internet. If what you wrote is the exact scenario then I can’t say he has a problem or not, but if that’s all there is then you should not hang out with him and he doesn’t need you being a nosey Karen in his life either. If is worse than you say in your post then ya, maybe a conversation is needed. Pretty sure most all of us do something that all the perfect people out there don’t like and talk about behind everyone’s back.

Sadly it’s not an opinion - he literally said in front of me and his spouse that he’s not going to take the meds because he can’t drink on them. But regardless, yes I suppose you are right about gaps in info making it hard for you to provide any useful thoughts. As for the nosy Karen part lol - I hear yah. Nobody needs more of those in our lives! I’ve actually never been called that before. Other things yes, but not that lol. I am not the kind of person who tries to bud into everyone’s lives nor am I the kind of person who uses knowledge as a power trip or pretends to be someone’s friend. I’m either a friend all the time or none of the time which is why this was weighing on me and why I put it out there. I have been burned by nosy Karen’s in the past - trusted confidential info with someone who wasn’t really a friend but an acquaintance more so, but someone who was great at pretending to be a friend when it was convenient for him. someone who is great at manipulating people and like I said I was burned. I guess maybe I should have just shared my concerns with that person directly instead of a forum lol I appreciate all the comments and think I will do that! Thanks guys!

[elkhunter11]

I think that it has a lot to do with lifestyle in general, the people that like to go out more, tend to drink more, and as we age and don't care about going to bars or casinos, we greatly reduce our drinking. As well, people more health conscious tend to drink a lot less. I used to drink a lot when I first went up to the oilsands at 19, but as I got older, I stopped going to bars, and drank very little. These days a dozen beer may last me a couple of months in summer, and if I am not outside on a hot day, I rarely drink at all. It's not willpower, it's just a lack of desire.

[Sooner]

Originally Posted by bushnell

You can't help someone who thinks they don't need help. Until they ask for help things don't change. Been there.....

Absolutely.

A good friend had to almost die before he seen the light....well almost. He had yellow eyes and lost a lot of weight when I was asked to come by with some food as he was on the can with the runs for a couple weeks and couldn't get out to the store. His liver was shutting down after 30 yrs of being an alcoholic. He grudgingly went to the emerg after my and his parent insistence. He slept for almost 3 days while they drugged him up with medication for his liver and withdrawal symptoms. I think he was mere days from death.

That was 5 ish yrs ago. I don't see bags of Vodka bottles for the depot anymore but he still drinks beer. And he don't drink to excess anymore. So he kinda got better. No wife, no kids, ultimate bachelor but I worry if he goes back on the hard stuff, he is done. But how much can a damaged liver take on beer? Just delaying it I think if you don't quit it for good.

Seen some wicked stuff with his addiction, his withdrawals, hallucination's and then his health scare. Thank god he never killed anyone drinking and driving.


Good luck to your friend.

[jstubbs]

Originally Posted by Sooner

Seen some wicked stuff with his addiction, his withdrawals, hallucination's and then his health scare. Thank god he never killed anyone drinking and driving.

Yup. Someone close to me is a nurse in a medical detox unit at a major hospital. I figured the most hard to deal with patients patients requiring the most care would be the heavy meth and/or fentanyl users with some benzo and heroin addicts mixed in.

Nope, almost all have been alcohol. Meth and opiate withdrawals are hell to live through but are very rarely life threatening. Booze withdrawls can straight up kill you. The really hard alcoholics can require flat out one to one care.

Like all others have said there is nothing wrong with having some drinks and getting drunk the odd time and the vast majority of people handle their alcohol just fine. But I don’t think many really realize how dangerous alcohol is and it sure can become a slippery slope if you start drinking to cope with some demons.

[Mavrick]

On of my favorite things to do is have a drink. A glass of wine at diner, a scotch in the evening, a cold beer around the fire playing the guitar.

Because I enjoy this so much I have always told myself to control it so you don't loose the privilege, and I have never been drunk.

Be carful with your friend, I have been there. Get him help with the help of others, don't try to give him help him yourself. It will go wrong.

[Puma]

Lost a few of my best friends to booze and substance abuse over the years.

Never turns out well in the end.

I hope it works out for him.

[Joes]

Originally Posted by landowner

Had a friend in the same situation. He finally found AA after a lot intervention. He later explained to me that the alcohol changed his way of reasoning and he felt everyone but him had a problem. When he eventually realized his thinking was altered by the alcohol, he got the help he needed.

Heartbreaking weekend. Lost another good one to alcohol. Please ladies and gents - don’t mix alcohol with prescription drugs if the doctor says not to! Opioids or nerve blockers or antidepressants - it doesn’t matter. It Started out with a handful of mild nighttime seizures after over consuming while on meds. Then a daytime seizure behind the wheel out of the blue. Like the quote above - he didn’t realize his thinking was altered by alcohol either and in this case mixed with prescriptions. He always thought everyone else was wrong or judging because his thinking patterns were messed up from what he was consuming. He didn’t drink everyday per say but he over consumed when he did. Just couldn’t say no to booze at a gathering and took it too far. If people are commenting, there might be something to self evaluate. It might not just be judging or nagging. It might be people loving you enough to speak up. Rest In Peace Sam and all those lost to addictions.

[Trochu]

Sorry to hear this Joe.

[EZM]

Sorry to hear that Joe. You did what you could for your friend and know that. May he rest in peace.

[-JR-]

Years ago you could tell your kids they can do anything they want to ,as long as it was legal .
But now they they made everything legal . As of 2023

[bezzola]

Both my parents were drunks we tried to talk to them even with the grandkids and nothing. So in the long run it killed both of them much to young. I went down that path for a few years but was called out by the wife. I still have a drink once in awhile with friends or out for dinner i have had 6 drinks since December 15.

[jstubbs]

Heartbreaking. I cannot imagine the pain you, his kids, his family and other friends are feeling right now. RIP

[Big Grey Wolf]

Many military boys were heavy drinkers. Most of us would also be that way if we had experienced the terrible sights they went through.

[Stinky Buffalo]

Originally Posted by Big Grey Wolf

Many military boys were heavy drinkers. Most of us would also be that way if we had experienced the terrible sights they went through.

Yup, I knew several that went through the World Wars, and wondered why they drank so much. Now, knowing what we do about PTSD, it explains a lot. They were self-medicating, often to their detriment.

On one hand it's hard to judge when you consider the unspeakable horrors that they went through, but the collateral damage and hurt done to their families was sad to see.

Originally Posted by Pathfinder76

I’ve never touched the stuff ever. I’ve been mocked for that decision. Am I missing out? Have I made a poor choice?

Nope, you haven't missed out!

I have gone through extended "dry" periods where I didn't drink for months to years at a time.

It's incredible how some individuals just couldn't handle the fact that I just didn't want a drink, and would get really pushy.

I suppose, that in their minds, they are being sociable, even generous.

But yeah, it's can be very hard to kindly decline, especially since some act all hurt if you don't oblige.

[LeroyvdH]

Had a friend that couldn't drop the bottle. We parted ways, got tired of the bs. A couple years later I heard form his brother he had passed. Heart meds, mental meds and whatever. You can't help someone if they don't want it. Helped his daughter and brother with the estate cleanup. One day soon we will call her Doctor. After the carnage, the only way is forward.

[Joes]

Originally Posted by LeroyvdH

….. After the carnage, the only way is forward.

Sad but true.

In the meantime, while we ARE here - no matter what our battles or addictions or struggles are - tell your family you love them and gives hugs. Focus on the good in people and the ways our spouses and kids show us they love us. Don’t take things for granted and SHOW your spouse/kids you love them - words are pretty empty if one’s actions don’t reflect what is being said. Don’t shut down a partner or family member if they need to talk about their feelings. Even if it’s irritating and you’ve heard it 100 times - listen. Really listen. You never know what may come of it or how you are bettering them or the relationship. And take time to self reflect. If people react to your words or actions negatively - maybe it’s not always them. Maybe a part of it is not realizing how we come across to others. Maybe we can better ourselves a bit too. Truly invest in the people in your life.

Sorry for the lecture. Just a little sentimental given the circumstances.

[Stinky Buffalo]

Originally Posted by Joes

maybe it’s not always them. Maybe a part of it is not realizing how we come across to others. Maybe we can better ourselves a bit too. Truly invest in the people in your life.

Excellent point. Some of us are quite nose-blind as to how others perceive us.

[Ackleyman]

Originally Posted by jstubbs

I thought the same about my dad—he was never falling down, making a fool of himself drunk—and so none of us thought it was really a problem. Turns out he was just really good at hiding how **** drunk he was and by the time we realized that and tried to intervene he was so far gone that he nearly died in the ICU last year.

As it turns out, drinking at every given opportunity is a really good sign that someone is suffering from alcoholism. I mean absolutely no offence by this next statement but it sounds like you might be trying to justify something to yourself.

I get it if your drunk all the time. If you visit your buddies and tip some beers at football night what's the big deal ?? This might be twice a month...maybe.
I guess you could hide in your basement and read MAD magazines.

[bushnell]

No one wants to admit there's a problem. I've already said I've been there. Took a lot of time for me to admit that I had a problem. Been working on it .So far so good

[elkhunter11]

Even with professional help, recovery may not be possible. A friend started drinking to excess, started to have marital issues, and then his employer sent him to rehab. A few days after completing rehab, he wounded his wife, and was arrested. A couple of days after being granted bail, he took his own life.

[Unregistered user]

I love booze, but it is an unrequited love.