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Old 02-18-2009, 10:58 PM
BBJTKLE&FISHINGADVENTURES BBJTKLE&FISHINGADVENTURES is offline
 
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Default HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN WalMart

I got this Email from Tree guy thought id share. Very very funny.

HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN WalMart

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her
husband or boyfriend along shopping

This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :


Dear Mrs. Murray,

Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your
husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House ware to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house ware..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8.. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the House ware aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.

11.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled' PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
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  #2  
Old 02-18-2009, 11:10 PM
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Albertadiver Albertadiver is offline
 
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Just how did I know THIS would end up on the board to inspire all sorts of folks with severe cabin fever!
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Old 02-18-2009, 11:13 PM
Jester Jester is offline
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.......................

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Old 02-18-2009, 11:13 PM
BBJTKLE&FISHINGADVENTURES BBJTKLE&FISHINGADVENTURES is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Albertadiver View Post
Just how did I know THIS would end up on the board to inspire all sorts of folks with severe cabin fever!
I figured it was time for me and Redneck posse to take our monthly trip to Wally world.
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Old 02-18-2009, 11:47 PM
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OutwardBound OutwardBound is offline
 
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OMG too funny......sad thing is... I took Dustin and the best man at our wedding to Winner's one time to look for shoes on the way to dinner...BAD BAD idea!

This almost describes all of their antics- they dressed (I still don't know how) in the most gawd awful outfit that a woman was browsing and yelled to me if they looked like drag queens. Or something like that - I have tried to block that memory out!!

I can only imagine now what our next trip to wallyworld will be like

Danni
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Old 02-19-2009, 12:17 AM
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Selkirk Selkirk is offline
 
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I'm about to bust a gut ... I'm in severe pain ... please help!!!

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Old 02-19-2009, 12:31 AM
IR_mike IR_mike is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CBRHunter View Post
OMG too funny......sad thing is... I took Dustin and the best man at our wedding to Winner's one time to look for shoes on the way to dinner...BAD BAD idea!

This almost describes all of their antics- they dressed (I still don't know how) in the most gawd awful outfit that a woman was browsing and yelled to me if they looked like drag queens. Or something like that - I have tried to block that memory out!!

I can only imagine now what our next trip to wallyworld will be like

Danni
About 10 years ago at christmas time I was in bower mall in red deer with a buddy who was having tuff times (all self induced).

He kept lamenting on the fact he was broke and he would do anything for 50 bucks. He molested that mannequin in front of all those little old ladies in the most convincing manner before running away from the security guards. Best 50 I ever spent.
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Old 02-19-2009, 12:44 AM
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i really have to try #14 next time i am at walmart
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Old 02-19-2009, 12:48 AM
IR_mike IR_mike is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buckmaster View Post
i really have to try #14 next time i am at walmart
But then yell "oh this shower curtain will work"
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Old 02-19-2009, 07:41 AM
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pdfish pdfish is offline
 
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Wow, there sure are some good ideas on that list. The wife will no longer let me go to WalMart with her because as soon as I step foot inside I start whistling the theme song from "Deliverance" and I don't stop til I get back outside.
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Old 02-19-2009, 07:55 AM
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Grizzly Adams Grizzly Adams is offline
 
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I always make a point of carrying my cell phone in Wal-mart, so I can hail the little woman, when I lose her
Grizz
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Old 02-19-2009, 08:25 AM
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It reminds me of a joke.......

An old guy and a young guy bump into each other in WalMart one day and begin to chat. Turns out neither one of 'em can find their wives, so they agree to help each other. "What's yer wife look like?', asks the old guy. "Well, she's 22, blond, big boobs, wearing short shorts and a halter top. What's your wife look like?". "Who cares", says the old guy, "let's go find yours!!"

Tree
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Old 02-19-2009, 09:25 AM
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dmckay dmckay is offline
 
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Hey Grizzly, I hear ya. The only problem is when the little woman doesn't answer.....you can hear the dollars adding up.
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  #14  
Old 02-19-2009, 11:11 AM
Elk Bugler Elk Bugler is offline
 
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NOW THATS FUNNY I DON"T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAY's !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 02-19-2009, 02:23 PM
FishBrain FishBrain is offline
 
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I have been kicked out of a dollar store for starting a cotton ball fight with my wife.
I figured if they didnt want people to be hit with them they wouldn't ahve made them so soft.
and we used to push ALL the try me buttons in isles and the end of racks. had to stop that now we have kids
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Old 02-19-2009, 02:33 PM
BBJTKLE&FISHINGADVENTURES BBJTKLE&FISHINGADVENTURES is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buckmaster View Post
i really have to try #14 next time i am at walmart
Ive done it , use to have one of them Fart machines would walk around with it in my pocket and push the button as I passed someone , and look back and start laughing .LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AHAHAHAHAHHAA ah man LOL LOLOLlol:In the life of me
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Old 02-19-2009, 08:01 PM
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bunnyhunter bunnyhunter is offline
 
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just when I had given up hope of seeing anything useful today........LOVE IT...now i know I am not the only person that goes insane in MalWart....
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Old 02-19-2009, 08:08 PM
el sparko el sparko is offline
 
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definately the funniest and most useful post i've seen in weeks!
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Old 02-19-2009, 08:17 PM
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alacringa alacringa is offline
 
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ROFL...my car is going to be in the shop on Sat...now I have some ideas for something to do!!!
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Old 02-20-2009, 02:23 PM
HILLYBILLYBARRY HILLYBILLYBARRY is offline
 
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Default power wheel chairs

hey BBJ and red neck posse how much trouble can you too get into in them ower wheel chairs that they have for old ppl to use cause that hell of a lota walking for you too to do to cause that much trouble!
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