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06-28-2013, 02:50 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Calgary
Posts: 9,599
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10 Rules for Dating my son
It's a MOM thing
Attention Mamas of Boys! We always see the "Rules for Dating My Daughter"...well, here are the "Rules for Dating My SON"!
Rule One: If you talk with foul words and dress like a floozy in shirts that are too small and pants low with thong showing, then I will treat you like one. You are only allowed to wear granny panties super glued to your hind quarters.
Rule Two: If you date my son, you only date him. He has a kind heart and I will not have you make my son cry; if he does, I will make you cry. You may only date one of my sons. Ever.
Rule Three: You must know how to cook as well as I have taught my son to cook. He is a big eater. Frozen dinners do not count.
Rule Four: Do not be hurt when my son chooses sports over time with you. Join in and learn the game. Shopping does not count as a sport.
Rule Five: Do not date my son for his money, because I am his bank. Do not expect expensive gifts, because he has been taught to be a savvy shopper.
Rule Six: Do not sleep with my son. The only rubber he should be concerned about is out in the driveway and has Goodyear stamped on it.
Rule Seven: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pudgy, baggy-eyed, last-season, has-been. But on issues relating to my son, I am the queen of his universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth. If you do not, I will ask him. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Eight: My son has been raised not to hit a lady. So act like one and I will not have to hit you for him. 
Rule Nine: If you need more than 30 minutes to dress for a date with my son, be prepared to talk with him only during halftime and commercial breaks for identification from the local station.
Rule Ten: My son is not a toy. He does not have Hasbro, Mattel or any other toy company tattooed on his person. Hence, he is not an object for you to play with, manipulate, and discard at your leisure. I suffered through 42 hours of labor to have him, and will unleash an unimaginable amount of anger such that the movie 300 will look like an episode of the Little House on the Prairie should you cross me.
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06-28-2013, 02:51 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Southern Alberta
Posts: 184
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What are the rules for dating your daughter?
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06-28-2013, 02:56 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Calgary
Posts: 3,316
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What are your sons rules for someone dating you???
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06-28-2013, 03:12 PM
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: flms
Posts: 3,911
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My son will know what types you date and what types you dont
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the days we are at our best we can play with anybody, problem is those days are getting farther and farther apart
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06-28-2013, 03:14 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Calgary
Posts: 9,599
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSmooth
What are the rules for dating your daughter?
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We already went through that list, I am sure you will even find an application on here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MtnGiant
What are your sons rules for someone dating you???
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As far as he is concerned mom doesn't date.
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06-28-2013, 03:15 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: High River, AB
Posts: 10,788
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I'm certainly not inclined to date your son MOM. 
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06-28-2013, 03:17 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Calgary
Posts: 9,599
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gitrdun
I'm certainly not inclined to date your son MOM. |
You boys have said what you would do to boys who date your daughters and so I wanted to share the mom side of it for sons.
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06-28-2013, 05:02 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 6,928
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#8 and #10
Awesome.
__________________
Respond, not react. - Saskatchewan proverb
We learn from history that we do not learn from history. - Hegel
Your obligation to fight has not been relieved because the battle is fierce and difficult. Ben Shapiro
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06-28-2013, 05:11 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 1,969
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSmooth
What are the rules for dating your daughter?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FishingMOM
We already went through that list, I am sure you will even find an application on here.
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http://www.outdoorsmenforum.ca/showthread.php?t=113550
__________________
In my world stock options and group therapy means something completely different!
'Never trust anyone who says you can't legally own something because they don't like it'. - Me
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06-28-2013, 05:48 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Calgary
Posts: 273
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gitrdun
I'm certainly not inclined to date your son MOM.
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X2
I don't think there are many guys are here interesed in dating your son.
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1 shot.....1 kill.
Last edited by swift1; 06-28-2013 at 06:12 PM.
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06-28-2013, 06:14 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Calgary, AB
Posts: 4,970
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Hmmm. My eldest is almost twenty. I just want him to meet a nice, non-manipulative, girl and move out!
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Shelley
God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then he made the earth round . . . and laughed.
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06-28-2013, 06:16 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,588
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkAisling
Hmmm. My eldest is almost twenty. I just want him to meet a nice, non-manipulative, girl and move out!
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is there such a thing? Might as well hope he meets Bigfoot driving a flying saucer!
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06-28-2013, 06:20 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: High River, AB
Posts: 10,788
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FishingMOM
You boys have said what you would do to boys who date your daughters and so I wanted to share the mom side of it for sons.
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My only job here is to teach junior firearm safety and how to shoot straight. Under MOM's supervision of course....but I think that we got over that aspect a long time ago. My weekend is free MOM.
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06-28-2013, 06:40 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Southern Alberta
Posts: 184
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rod1960
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Oh my
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06-28-2013, 06:41 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 173
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ESOXangler
is there such a thing? Might as well hope he meets Bigfoot driving a flying saucer!
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Man, you just made my night. That is pure gold!
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06-28-2013, 06:43 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: In the 400's
Posts: 6,581
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Quote:
Originally Posted by swift1
X2
I don't think there are many guys are here interesed in dating your son.
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Water... Nose.... Screen...lmao
__________________
How to start an argument online:
1. Express an opinion
2. Wait ....
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06-28-2013, 07:11 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Red Deer
Posts: 1,467
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A fathers rules for dating my son:
1. Dont be afraid to wear tight shirts or low jeans, you ain't gonna look like that forever, might as well give him Some good memories for what I call, The Oreo Years.
2. Dont be a cold hearted cheating bitch, You will only scar him for life and get half of a trailer that has a leaky roof and dorm room smell. He knows to spend all his money on guns before the preceedings!
3.You should cook, often. And Share. Specially baked goods. Oh, and please dont cry when you see a dead "bambi" in the garage
4. Feel free to watch as much Reality Television with him as he wants, The football game is Really happening, That hunting show really happened, and Oh Em Gee the news counts too. Welcome to the real reality.
5.When it comes to money, when you are dating, let him think he is still in charge of it and responsible, but be sure to sneak into the vows that you will give him a fair allowance. And please, PLEASE realize that firearms are an investment.
6. Kids have sex, I know this. You do it in my bed or car, and I will call your father and tell him the horror of what you did. Please be on the pill, we always will say just a little more, Pull N Pray dont work, how do you think I have a son?!
7. Leave your cell phone in your purse while in my presence. We do not text and eat, but feel free to use the phone in the kitchen to check in on the hour with your father, as I am sure it is requested.
8. My son will never hit a lady. For the record, Ladies dont cheat. My wife, however, has years of strength training by tearing oreo bags the size of your head in half, without looking. Dont make me use her!
9.Please understand that I think of you somewhat like a car. If you are getting dressed for an average day, you are permitted the same amount of time it takes for an oil change. If its a special event, you have the time needed to change a tire.
10.If you are coming along hunting or fishing, understanding that the only perfume you will need is urine based. Show up early or on time and in the appropriate camo. And if you feel the need to speak, please save it for around the campfire.
Welcome to the family, Hes a good boy but he has my jeans.
So if you could wash them and have em back to me once you teach him how to dress himself, that would be Great!
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06-28-2013, 07:52 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Southern Alberta
Posts: 184
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^^^^ hahaha
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06-28-2013, 09:56 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Quesnel BC Canada
Posts: 5,610
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1000yards
A fathers rules for dating my son:
1. Dont be afraid to wear tight shirts or low jeans, you ain't gonna look like that forever, might as well give him Some good memories for what I call, The Oreo Years.
2. Dont be a cold hearted cheating bitch, You will only scar him for life and get half of a trailer that has a leaky roof and dorm room smell. He knows to spend all his money on guns before the preceedings!
3.You should cook, often. And Share. Specially baked goods. Oh, and please dont cry when you see a dead "bambi" in the garage
4. Feel free to watch as much Reality Television with him as he wants, The football game is Really happening, That hunting show really happened, and Oh Em Gee the news counts too. Welcome to the real reality.
5.When it comes to money, when you are dating, let him think he is still in charge of it and responsible, but be sure to sneak into the vows that you will give him a fair allowance. And please, PLEASE realize that firearms are an investment.
6. Kids have sex, I know this. You do it in my bed or car, and I will call your father and tell him the horror of what you did. Please be on the pill, we always will say just a little more, Pull N Pray dont work, how do you think I have a son?!
7. Leave your cell phone in your purse while in my presence. We do not text and eat, but feel free to use the phone in the kitchen to check in on the hour with your father, as I am sure it is requested.
8. My son will never hit a lady. For the record, Ladies dont cheat. My wife, however, has years of strength training by tearing oreo bags the size of your head in half, without looking. Dont make me use her!
9.Please understand that I think of you somewhat like a car. If you are getting dressed for an average day, you are permitted the same amount of time it takes for an oil change. If its a special event, you have the time needed to change a tire.
10.If you are coming along hunting or fishing, understanding that the only perfume you will need is urine based. Show up early or on time and in the appropriate camo. And if you feel the need to speak, please save it for around the campfire.
Welcome to the family, Hes a good boy but he has my jeans.
So if you could wash them and have em back to me once you teach him how to dress himself, that would be Great!
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~~good one.
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06-28-2013, 09:57 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Quesnel BC Canada
Posts: 5,610
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FishingMOM
It's a MOM thing
Attention Mamas of Boys! We always see the "Rules for Dating My Daughter"...well, here are the "Rules for Dating My SON"!
Rule One: If you talk with foul words and dress like a floozy in shirts that are too small and pants low with thong showing, then I will treat you like one. You are only allowed to wear granny panties super glued to your hind quarters.
Rule Two: If you date my son, you only date him. He has a kind heart and I will not have you make my son cry; if he does, I will make you cry. You may only date one of my sons. Ever.
Rule Three: You must know how to cook as well as I have taught my son to cook. He is a big eater. Frozen dinners do not count.
Rule Four: Do not be hurt when my son chooses sports over time with you. Join in and learn the game. Shopping does not count as a sport.
Rule Five: Do not date my son for his money, because I am his bank. Do not expect expensive gifts, because he has been taught to be a savvy shopper.
Rule Six: Do not sleep with my son. The only rubber he should be concerned about is out in the driveway and has Goodyear stamped on it.
Rule Seven: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pudgy, baggy-eyed, last-season, has-been. But on issues relating to my son, I am the queen of his universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth. If you do not, I will ask him. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Eight: My son has been raised not to hit a lady. So act like one and I will not have to hit you for him.
Rule Nine: If you need more than 30 minutes to dress for a date with my son, be prepared to talk with him only during halftime and commercial breaks for identification from the local station.
Rule Ten: My son is not a toy. He does not have Hasbro, Mattel or any other toy company tattooed on his person. Hence, he is not an object for you to play with, manipulate, and discard at your leisure. I suffered through 42 hours of labor to have him, and will unleash an unimaginable amount of anger such that the movie 300 will look like an episode of the Little House on the Prairie should you cross me. |
More....there should be more??? 
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06-28-2013, 10:11 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ft Mac
Posts: 551
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Fishin Mom you knocked that one out of the park.Articulate concise and just a hint of femal griz
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06-28-2013, 10:13 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: 3rd rock from the sun, formerly from 4th rock from the sun
Posts: 5,000
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Right on
__________________
 I may not be the brightest crayon in the box at times but I sure am colourful 
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06-28-2013, 11:33 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,075
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GOOD GRIEF
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06-28-2013, 11:48 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Okotoks
Posts: 3,033
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Excellent set of rules FishingMom. You obviously do not want your son just being some sort of "Trophy Husband" for some girl. (or anybody else)
You made sure it didn't happen to you and it certainly isn't going to happen to him with this set of rules. Nice work.
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06-29-2013, 12:00 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Black Creek, BC
Posts: 224
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkAisling
Hmmm. My eldest is almost twenty. I just want him to meet a nice, non-manipulative, girl and move out!
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IF he finds more than one, let me know. They are rarer than unicorns these days.
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06-29-2013, 12:01 AM
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Edmonton,AB
Posts: 997
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Mammy as soon as sons ass doesn't hurt it is a .good date.
Sorry for not being politcorrect.
Last edited by sailor; 06-29-2013 at 12:10 AM.
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06-29-2013, 01:06 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 1,969
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSmooth
Oh my
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??
__________________
In my world stock options and group therapy means something completely different!
'Never trust anyone who says you can't legally own something because they don't like it'. - Me
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06-29-2013, 07:07 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Calgary
Posts: 9,599
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rod1960
??
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Dont feel bad rod.
Apparently this flood has affected the funny bone of our members.
The post about rules was a joke...... some guys get it, many didnt.
We have spoken many times what the guys would do when their daughters start dating........ well we mommas don't want our boys screwed with just like daddies dont want their princesses screwed with or otherwise hurt.
Heck most daddys have said they will greet her dates with a shotgun cleaning lessons ect.
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06-29-2013, 07:53 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: North East of Grande Prairie
Posts: 443
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I'm standing & applauding Fishing Mom. Thanks.
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06-29-2013, 07:56 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: North East of Grande Prairie
Posts: 443
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This is making me smile.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1000yards
A fathers rules for dating my son:
1. Dont be afraid to wear tight shirts or low jeans, you ain't gonna look like that forever, might as well give him Some good memories for what I call, The Oreo Years.
2. Dont be a cold hearted cheating bitch, You will only scar him for life and get half of a trailer that has a leaky roof and dorm room smell. He knows to spend all his money on guns before the preceedings!
3.You should cook, often. And Share. Specially baked goods. Oh, and please dont cry when you see a dead "bambi" in the garage
4. Feel free to watch as much Reality Television with him as he wants, The football game is Really happening, That hunting show really happened, and Oh Em Gee the news counts too. Welcome to the real reality.
5.When it comes to money, when you are dating, let him think he is still in charge of it and responsible, but be sure to sneak into the vows that you will give him a fair allowance. And please, PLEASE realize that firearms are an investment.
6. Kids have sex, I know this. You do it in my bed or car, and I will call your father and tell him the horror of what you did. Please be on the pill, we always will say just a little more, Pull N Pray dont work, how do you think I have a son?!
7. Leave your cell phone in your purse while in my presence. We do not text and eat, but feel free to use the phone in the kitchen to check in on the hour with your father, as I am sure it is requested.
8. My son will never hit a lady. For the record, Ladies dont cheat. My wife, however, has years of strength training by tearing oreo bags the size of your head in half, without looking. Dont make me use her!
9.Please understand that I think of you somewhat like a car. If you are getting dressed for an average day, you are permitted the same amount of time it takes for an oil change. If its a special event, you have the time needed to change a tire.
10.If you are coming along hunting or fishing, understanding that the only perfume you will need is urine based. Show up early or on time and in the appropriate camo. And if you feel the need to speak, please save it for around the campfire.
Welcome to the family, Hes a good boy but he has my jeans.
So if you could wash them and have em back to me once you teach him how to dress himself, that would be Great!
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