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10-16-2015, 01:21 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: McBride/Prince George
Posts: 14,603
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Talking mooses big confession.
I am a crack dealer in Okotoks Alberta who has a steady flow of customers from the nearby junior high schools. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Cold Lake prostitute who lives in Smokey Lake and is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel there.
My parents live in a suburb of Ponoka, and one of my sisters, who lives in Hobbema (I can’t remember the new name), is married to a Native transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana in Camrose, and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Calgary. I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Drumheller for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his children in Bowden.
All things considered, my main problem is this: I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who is a member of the NDP Party???
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10-16-2015, 01:27 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Red Deer
Posts: 2,387
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Maskwacis 
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~Men and fish are alike. They both get into trouble when they open their mouths.~ 
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10-16-2015, 01:32 PM
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: edmonton
Posts: 3,860
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go claim your shirt
redfrog has a shirt for you 
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10-16-2015, 01:34 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: rollyview
Posts: 7,860
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ya my cousin too i can't even look at her she's young and says the silliest things. she's on the hype train and hasn't learned how to think for herself yet
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10-16-2015, 01:37 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 5,659
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Whatever you do just DONT TELL HER ABOUT THE NDP...
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10-16-2015, 01:42 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Kootenays BC
Posts: 60
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Whoa
Dude there are some things I would never admit to. Never ever tell her about the NDP in the family. Good luck with that skeleton buddy.
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10-16-2015, 01:46 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 11,409
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I think you should fly off to Ont. and throw your lot in with the Fords on the campaign trail.
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“One of the sad signs of our times is that we have demonized those who produce, subsidized those who refuse to produce, and canonized those who complain.”
Thomas Sowell
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10-16-2015, 02:26 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: In the shadow of the Valhalla Mountains, BC .
Posts: 9,175
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Old News ->
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talking moose
I am a crack dealer in Okotoks Alberta who has a steady flow of customers from the nearby junior high schools. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Cold Lake prostitute who lives in Smokey Lake and is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel there.
My parents live in a suburb of Ponoka, and one of my sisters, who lives in Hobbema (I can’t remember the new name), is married to a Native transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana in Camrose, and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Calgary. I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Drumheller for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his children in Bowden.
All things considered, my main problem is this: I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who is a member of the NDP Party???
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Meh  So like ... tell us something we don't already know 
Mac 
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10-16-2015, 02:27 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 1,783
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Talking moose
I am a crack dealer in Okotoks Alberta who has a steady flow of customers from the nearby junior high schools. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Cold Lake prostitute who lives in Smokey Lake and is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel there.
My parents live in a suburb of Ponoka, and one of my sisters, who lives in Hobbema (I can’t remember the new name), is married to a Native transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana in Camrose, and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Calgary. I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Drumheller for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his children in Bowden.
All things considered, my main problem is this: I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who is a member of the NDP Party???
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I laughed pretty good! Thank you for that!
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10-16-2015, 02:31 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 5,296
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yes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talking moose
I am a crack dealer in Okotoks Alberta who has a steady flow of customers from the nearby junior high schools. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Cold Lake prostitute who lives in Smokey Lake and is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel there.
My parents live in a suburb of Ponoka, and one of my sisters, who lives in Hobbema (I can’t remember the new name), is married to a Native transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana in Camrose, and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Calgary. I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Drumheller for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his children in Bowden.
All things considered, my main problem is this: I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who is a member of the NDP Party???
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yes
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10-16-2015, 02:31 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Calgary
Posts: 27
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Haha!! that gave me a good laugh!
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10-16-2015, 03:00 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Calgary, Canada
Posts: 693
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Talking moose
I am a crack dealer in Okotoks Alberta who has a steady flow of customers from the nearby junior high schools. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Cold Lake prostitute who lives in Smokey Lake and is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel there.
My parents live in a suburb of Ponoka, and one of my sisters, who lives in Hobbema (I can’t remember the new name), is married to a Native transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana in Camrose, and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Calgary. I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Drumheller for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his children in Bowden.
All things considered, my main problem is this: I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who is a member of the NDP Party???
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And you commute from your mom's basement in Ponoka to Okotoks everyday? That must be tiring.
Now is this your cousin-sister who is a member of NDP? If yes, definitely don't tell about being related to member of NDP party.
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10-16-2015, 03:11 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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You sure your fiancé is not your cousin you didn't know about and is one of the heads of the ndp,don't want be the bearer of bad news but love is blind,if she is your cousin don't fell bad because there's large group's who farm out that way all marry there cousins.
If she is your cousin stop selling and hit the pipe hard your sweetheart can have it arranged so you get free money,when your brain is halfed baked then you and her will have a lot more in common.
See it's good to vent your problems,there's always a answer.watch out for the tranny she just might steal your cousin's heart the same way the ndp stole the hearts of many without realizing the mistake they made and what was under that dress, love is blind,being the stable family and all ,things will change for the better in around 41 months and whatever you do don't knock her up and be stuck for 4 more years.
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10-16-2015, 03:15 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Canada
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Wait
There is a brothel in Smokey Lake?????!
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10-16-2015, 03:21 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: McBride/Prince George
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JD 848
You sure your fiancé is not your cousin you didn't know about and is one of the heads of the ndp,don't want be the bearer of bad news but love is blind,if she is your cousin don't fell bad because there's large group's who farm out that way all marry there cousins.
If she is your cousin stop selling and hit the pipe hard your sweetheart can have it arranged so you get free money,when your brain is halfed baked then you and her will have a lot more in common.
See it's good to vent your problems,there's always a answer.watch out for the tranny she just might steal your cousin's heart the same way the ndp stole the hearts of many without realizing the mistake they made and what was under that dress, love is blind,being the stable family and all ,things will change for the better in around 41 months and whatever you do don't knock her up and be stuck for 4 more years.
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Done and done!!!!! 
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10-16-2015, 03:34 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: McBride/Prince George
Posts: 14,603
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CNP
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That's actually where I got it.... Lol, almost
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10-16-2015, 03:34 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In your personal space.
Posts: 4,788
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Talking moose
I am a crack dealer in Okotoks Alberta who has a steady flow of customers from the nearby junior high schools. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Cold Lake prostitute who lives in Smokey Lake and is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel there.
My parents live in a suburb of Ponoka, and one of my sisters, who lives in Hobbema (I can’t remember the new name), is married to a Native transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana in Camrose, and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Calgary. I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Drumheller for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his children in Bowden.
All things considered, my main problem is this: I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who is a member of the NDP Party???
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Well played Mr Moose. Well played.
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10-16-2015, 04:47 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: At the end of the Thirsty Beaver Trail, Pinsky lake, Alberta.
Posts: 24,655
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I think there is a little bit of truth in the story
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Be careful when you follow the masses, sometimes the "M" is silent...
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10-16-2015, 06:22 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: edmonton
Posts: 11,434
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Yeh, I think she'll still love you even with all that family baggage. Just don't let her know your a Stamps and Flames fan. Don't think she'll forgive that.
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10-16-2015, 06:47 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 827
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Yesterday I have changed my will. Removed two of my sons from any inheritance. They are NDP supporters and advocating "strategic" voting.
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10-16-2015, 06:51 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Hythe
Posts: 4,354
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ETOWNCANUCK
Wait
There is a brothel in Smokey Lake?????!
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Address and is there a Ao discount?
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10-16-2015, 07:59 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: YEG
Posts: 9,981
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This SMACKS of a dual account!! BB356/TalkingMoose :sHa_sarcastic lol:
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10-16-2015, 11:35 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: CNP
Posts: 3,762
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When I read there was a confession I thought the talking moose was going to confess who he used to be and why the third person left him.
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You are what you do, not what you say.
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10-17-2015, 12:00 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: RMH
Posts: 662
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And here we all thought you were confessing to owning a Black Dodge Dually LOL.
Well played.
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10-17-2015, 08:26 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Alberta
Posts: 1,028
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NDP be like. 
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10-17-2015, 08:28 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Sherwood Forest
Posts: 5,176
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Read the title and thought this was going to be a different confession.
And I said to self, "no, don't bother doing it now".
This one is different indeed.
Keep everything else secret 
__________________
We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.
Ronald Reagan
Either get busy living, or get busy dying!
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10-17-2015, 10:09 AM
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Banned
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 481
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Lol that's pretty well played
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10-17-2015, 11:05 AM
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Central Alberta
Posts: 21,399
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I was waiting for a confession that he's actually a talking moose.
Grizz
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"Indeed, no human being has yet lived under conditions which, considering the prevailing climates of the past, can be regarded as normal."
John E. Pfeiffer The Emergence of Man
written in 1969
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10-17-2015, 11:10 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: In the shadow of the Valhalla Mountains, BC .
Posts: 9,175
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grizzly Adams
I was waiting for a confession that he's actually a talking moose.
Grizz
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Wait for it ... that ^ comes next week.
Mac 
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