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02-18-2009, 10:58 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Fort Saskatchewan Ab
Posts: 8,926
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HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN WalMart
I got this Email from Tree guy thought id share. Very very funny.
HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN WalMart
Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her
husband or boyfriend along shopping
This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :
Dear Mrs. Murray,
Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your
husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House ware to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house ware..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8.. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the House ware aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.
10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.
11.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.
12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled' PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
And; last, but not least:
14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
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02-18-2009, 11:10 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 10,192
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Just how did I know THIS would end up on the board to inspire all sorts of folks with severe cabin fever!
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02-18-2009, 11:13 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,384
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.......................
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02-18-2009, 11:13 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Fort Saskatchewan Ab
Posts: 8,926
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Albertadiver
Just how did I know THIS would end up on the board to inspire all sorts of folks with severe cabin fever!
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I figured it was time for me and Redneck posse to take our monthly trip to Wally world.
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02-18-2009, 11:47 PM
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Alberta
Posts: 975
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OMG too funny......sad thing is... I took Dustin and the best man at our wedding to Winner's one time to look for shoes on the way to dinner...BAD BAD idea!
This almost describes all of their antics- they dressed (I still don't know how) in the most gawd awful outfit that a woman was browsing and yelled to me if they looked like drag queens. Or something like that - I have tried to block that memory out!!
I can only imagine now what our next trip to wallyworld will be like
Danni
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02-19-2009, 12:17 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: In the shadow of the Valhalla Mountains, BC .
Posts: 9,175
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Yee-Haw!
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02-19-2009, 12:31 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Iron River
Posts: 5,158
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CBRHunter
OMG too funny......sad thing is... I took Dustin and the best man at our wedding to Winner's one time to look for shoes on the way to dinner...BAD BAD idea!
This almost describes all of their antics- they dressed (I still don't know how) in the most gawd awful outfit that a woman was browsing and yelled to me if they looked like drag queens. Or something like that - I have tried to block that memory out!!
I can only imagine now what our next trip to wallyworld will be like
Danni
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About 10 years ago at christmas time I was in bower mall in red deer with a buddy who was having tuff times (all self induced).
He kept lamenting on the fact he was broke and he would do anything for 50 bucks. He molested that mannequin in front of all those little old ladies in the most convincing manner before running away from the security guards. Best 50 I ever spent.
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02-19-2009, 12:44 AM
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: nsr edmonton
Posts: 2,090
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02-19-2009, 12:48 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Iron River
Posts: 5,158
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buckmaster
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But then yell "oh this shower curtain will work"
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02-19-2009, 07:41 AM
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Spruce Grove
Posts: 1,498
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Wow, there sure are some good ideas on that list. The wife will no longer let me go to WalMart with her because as soon as I step foot inside I start whistling the theme song from "Deliverance" and I don't stop til I get back outside.
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02-19-2009, 07:55 AM
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Central Alberta
Posts: 21,399
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I always make a point of carrying my cell phone in Wal-mart, so I can hail the little woman, when I lose her
Grizz
__________________
"Indeed, no human being has yet lived under conditions which, considering the prevailing climates of the past, can be regarded as normal."
John E. Pfeiffer The Emergence of Man
written in 1969
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02-19-2009, 08:25 AM
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calgary
Posts: 11,576
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It reminds me of a joke.......
An old guy and a young guy bump into each other in WalMart one day and begin to chat. Turns out neither one of 'em can find their wives, so they agree to help each other. "What's yer wife look like?', asks the old guy. "Well, she's 22, blond, big boobs, wearing short shorts and a halter top. What's your wife look like?". "Who cares", says the old guy, "let's go find yours!!"
Tree
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02-19-2009, 09:25 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Calgary, AB
Posts: 716
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Hey Grizzly, I hear ya. The only problem is when the little woman doesn't answer.....you can hear the dollars adding up.
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02-19-2009, 11:11 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: East Kootenay's
Posts: 75
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Funny
NOW THATS FUNNY I DON"T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAY's !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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02-19-2009, 02:23 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Calgary
Posts: 1,904
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I have been kicked out of a dollar store for starting a cotton ball fight with my wife.
I figured if they didnt want people to be hit with them they wouldn't ahve made them so soft.
and we used to push ALL the try me buttons in isles and the end of racks. had to stop that now we have kids
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A wise fellow once told me "Stop playing with it so much, or it might fall off!"
I still lose bait that way.
UPS will fondle your animals!!
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02-19-2009, 02:33 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Fort Saskatchewan Ab
Posts: 8,926
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buckmaster
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Ive done it , use to have one of them Fart machines would walk around with it in my pocket and push the button as I passed someone , and look back and start laughing .LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AHAHAHAHAHHAA ah man LOL LOLOL lol: In the life of me
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02-19-2009, 08:01 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Sunnybrook, Alberta Canada
Posts: 599
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just when I had given up hope of seeing anything useful today........ LOVE IT ...now i know I am not the only person that goes insane in MalWart....
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02-19-2009, 08:08 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 592
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definately the funniest and most useful post i've seen in weeks!
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02-19-2009, 08:17 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: With my dogs
Posts: 4,545
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ROFL...my car is going to be in the shop on Sat...now I have some ideas for something to do!!!
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alacringa
"This Brittany is my most cherished possession — the darndest bird-finder I have ever seen, a tough and wiry little dog with a choke-bored nose and the ability to read birds’ minds." -Jack O'Connor
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02-20-2009, 02:23 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Vegreville,AB
Posts: 245
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power wheel chairs
hey BBJ and red neck posse how much trouble can you too get into in them ower wheel chairs that they have for old ppl to use cause that hell of a lota walking for you too to do to cause that much trouble!
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DON'T WASTE ANY TIME JUST "GIT-R-DONE"
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