Old joke of the day

[Cement Bench]

The day after his mother-in-law disappeared in a kayaking accident, a
Twillingate, Newfoundland man answered his door to find two grim-faced
RCMP officers. "We're sorry Mr. Flynn, but we have some information
about your mother-in-law," said one of the officers.

“Tell me! Did you find her?” Cedric Flynn asked. The Mounties looked
at each other.

One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really
great news. Which would you like to hear first?" Fearing the worst,
Flynn said,

"Give me the bad news first." The RCMP officer said, "I'm sorry to
tell you, sir, but this morning we found your mother-in-law's body in
the bay." "Lord sufferin' Jaysus!" exclaimed Flynn. "What could
possibly be the good news?"

The officer continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 of the best
looking Atlantic lobsters you could ever hope to see clinging to her.
Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are
entitled to a share in the catch."

Stunned, Flynn demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?"


The officer replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."

[Savage Bacon]

Delicious!!

Sent from my SM-S901W using Tapatalk

[fishnguy]

[CBintheNorth]

Originally Posted by fishnguy

That's a good one too.
It's especially nice they were able to get a picture of him not sleeping.

[Okotok]

A buddy of mine was hunting near Tofield and shot his freakin toe off!

Said he was glad he wasn't hunting in Balzac or Cochrane!

[antmai]

Trudeau

[W921]

Originally Posted by Cement Bench

The day after his mother-in-law disappeared in a kayaking accident, a
Twillingate, Newfoundland man answered his door to find two grim-faced
RCMP officers. "We're sorry Mr. Flynn, but we have some information
about your mother-in-law," said one of the officers.

“Tell me! Did you find her?” Cedric Flynn asked. The Mounties looked
at each other.

One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really
great news. Which would you like to hear first?" Fearing the worst,
Flynn said,

"Give me the bad news first." The RCMP officer said, "I'm sorry to
tell you, sir, but this morning we found your mother-in-law's body in
the bay." "Lord sufferin' Jaysus!" exclaimed Flynn. "What could
possibly be the good news?"

The officer continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 of the best
looking Atlantic lobsters you could ever hope to see clinging to her.
Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are
entitled to a share in the catch."

Stunned, Flynn demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?"


The officer replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."

That was a good one. Thanks for sharing

[Red Bullets]

A guy sees a sign in front of a house "Talking Dog for Sale."
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard.
The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the dog replies. "So, what's your story?"
The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government. I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running.
The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down.
So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.
I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals.
Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says "Ten dollars."

The guy says he'll buy him but asks the owner, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, and for so cheap?"

The owner replies, "He's such a liar. He never did any of that stuff."