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Old 04-01-2014, 03:21 PM
Batwoman Batwoman is offline
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Alberta
Posts: 560
Default Laws They Don't Teach in Physics‏

Law of Mechanical Repair- After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know
INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

Law of Biomechanics- The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to
the reach.

Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your Boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.

Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!

Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that
you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!

Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the
doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an
appointment and you'll stay sick.

If you don't forward this to your friends, your belly button will unscrew.

Really... It's true. I read it on the Internet!


In the States I have some great friends who supply me with LOTS of material.......... I am sure this guy took Physics; me I just get to experience Physics - A LOT. What take it? WAS it a course?
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Old 04-01-2014, 06:12 PM
Au revoir, Gopher's Avatar
Au revoir, Gopher Au revoir, Gopher is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Batwoman View Post
WAS it a course?
Yup. Taught at the school of hard knocks. The instructor was Mr. Reality, he's a real @#$%#$!

ARG
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In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, gopher'.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sjemac View Post
It has been scientifically proven that a 308 round will not leave your property -- they essentially fall dead at the fence line. But a 38 round, when fired from a handgun, will of its own accord leave your property and destroy any small schools nearby.
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Old 04-01-2014, 07:07 PM
greylynx greylynx is offline
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That's really funny Batwoman.

Keep posting stuff like that.

Cheers.
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