When You're Feeling Down and Out, Please Reach Out

[HunterDave]

I got some very sad news today and I'd like to take the time to remind everyone to reach out when things seem too much to handle on your own. It's been a very tough year for a lot of folks and many people are having a really hard time.......whether you see it in them of not. You are not alone and there's no shame in asking for help when you can no longer cope on your own.

Keep in touch with your friends and family and make sure that you check up on them periodically.

Please, please, please, reach out and ask for help if things get too much to handle on your own.

[Scott N]

Sorry to hear about your bad news, but this is a good reminder to people that help is available.

[Ken07AOVette]

I am so sorry to read this Dave, it should be mentioned from time to time.

[Redcoat27]

Sorry to hear you are going through some tough times.

[CaberTosser]

I'm curious to see what Statistics Canada has on suicides so far this year, and how they compare to the same time period in previous years. Its a rough time for many, really bad for some.

Many might not like to put up a thread and have their business all aired out in public, but remember you can always PM somebody, perhaps you have a few members that you have met or who's judgment you have some faith in? Reach out to others, but also bear in mind that they may have great life experience, but aren't professionals. Don't be aversive to seeking professional help

[260 Rem]

Sending good vibes your way.

[roper1]

Tough one, HD, hope time makes it easier.

[OL_JR]

Sorry to hear about your loss HunterDave. Lost a co worker earlier this year, no one saw it coming. Seemed like the happiest guy in the world just a stones throw away from retirement.

Had literally tonnes of people that would have done whatever they could to keep him from going down the path he did if he just would have said something.

[W921]

It always seems to be the stuff you dont see coming that gets you.
I don't know what things are like where you live but if you find out that there is no help out there dont be surprised. Just remember your not the only one with awful stuff going on. Try to think about something else. Try to work at something you normally like even if it seems pointless. Try to force yourself to work at something.
Things keep changing. Just hold on and something is bound to change for the better. If its about losing someone. Gosh man I hope time helps. I think it will. Just hold on and try to keep busy.

[HunterDave]

This fella was a landowner, farmer and rancher that I trapped beaver for this Spring who I got to know. He’s also a member of my Son in Law’s family, invited to my Daughter’ Wedding. I never got to know him well enough to know what was going on in his life but he was a very nice guy. He liked to talk and tell stories so every time that i’d Go out there we’d chat for a half hour leaning off the tailgate before we both got back to work. I never sensed anything wrong in any way that i’d Be concerned about. I don’t know where things went horribly wrong for him but what happened was so unnecessary and completely avoidable. If he had just reached out we would have rallied around him for support.

[Dom4]

Sorry to hear this Dave. Take care and I hope all is well.


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[Red Bullets]

Condolences to you Hunter Dave and to those who held this man close. Sad to read of your friend's sudden passing. He must have had a difficult path or lost his way on his path. We can only hope and pray he is at peace and has found the calm after the storm he endured.

[teledogs]

Very sad to read, condolences Sir. A great reminder to reach out!

[58thecat]

Mental health is something to be taken very seriously....sorry to hear of this.

[Grizzly Adams]

Originally Posted by 58thecat

Mental health is something to be taken very seriously....sorry to hear of this.

When this is all over, we're going to realize just how important mental health really is. The mortality rate for the virus is relatively low, wonder if they'll ever tell us how many people the cure killed ?

Grizz

[Big Grey Wolf]

Dave sorry to hear about your loss of a friend. The father in Quebec that appears to have taken life of his two daughters another example of someone obviously at the end of his rope.

[2 Tollers]

Dave all the best to you. Mental health in these times is a big issue and it is hard to know with people what their true inner feelings are. Reaching out with calls to friends and just checking in, while good, never really detects the undercurrents of where a person who is significantly depressed is heading.

Having had to deal with a number of unfortunate deaths in my past job, I can say that not everyone shows a physical change when they are having dark thoughts. It is hard not to beat yourself up over I should have seen it coming but this can drive you into your own well of darkness.

If a person runs into someone that is in a blue or dark mood hopefully getting them to refocus their thoughts on the good changes that are happening around the province will help them through this.

I know a couple of people that have been down and are avid sports fans. Just the thought of having NHL playoffs has brought their spirits up and this is now the discussion point when I speak with them. Not everyone is built the same and as a society we have to be more tolerant and aware of the needs of people around us.

[W921]

Originally Posted by HunterDave

This fella was a landowner, farmer and rancher that I trapped beaver for this Spring who I got to know. He’s also a member of my Son in Law’s family, invited to my Daughter’ Wedding. I never got to know him well enough to know what was going on in his life but he was a very nice guy. He liked to talk and tell stories so every time that i’d Go out there we’d chat for a half hour leaning off the tailgate before we both got back to work. I never sensed anything wrong in any way that i’d Be concerned about. I don’t know where things went horribly wrong for him but what happened was so unnecessary and completely avoidable. If he had just reached out we would have rallied around him for support.

We dont know what was going on at home.
Most farms and ranches are a team when everything is good.
When things are bad, that team thing goes all out the window and markets and weather are the husband's fault.
You dont know what he was living with. He probable did try to share but people dont know what to say and get uncomfortable.
Stress affects people different. I think men try to be there and step up but with women it can be all about self preservation. Haha I guess I'll find out if there are any woman on this forum?
We dont know what was happening at home.
Ranching can be super isolating. Sometimes neighboring outfits can see you as competition. Maybe they hope bad things happen to you.
With covid he probable was not able to visit the friends that he had. Those tailgate chats where probably more important to him than you realized. It might have been the only positive human contact that he had.
People can put on a happy face briefly for people they dont know well but you just dont know what they are living with at home.
Cows,horses,land,trucks and guns dont mean anything if its just you.

[Sooner]

Originally Posted by teledogs

Very sad to read, condolences Sir. A great reminder to reach out!

X2, take care

[lmtada]

Good luck hunterdave. Had similar issues two years ago. Wife diagnosed with stage 4 metastic cancer. She had her kidney, spleen, and 1/3 pancreas removed. The oncologist didn’t hold anything back. Told her she likely not going to make it. We were shocked. I started talking to friends about issues, and felt much better. Life is short, enjoy it now.....Then along came Immunetherapy treatment. She is not cancer free yet. However all major cancer cells reduced, and many are gone. Runs/ walks 17000 steps day, and back at work (working from home now). Yes the talking with family, friends helped immediately. Go from anger, despair to hope, and smiling.

[pikergolf]

Originally Posted by lmtada

Good luck hunterdave. Had similar issues two years ago. Wife diagnosed with stage 4 metastic cancer. She had her kidney, spleen, and 1/3 pancreas removed. The oncologist didn’t hold anything back. Told her she likely not going to make it. We were shocked. I started talking to friends about issues, and felt much better. Life is short, enjoy it now.....Then along came Immunetherapy treatment. She is not cancer free yet. However all major cancer cells reduced, and many are gone. Runs/ walks 17000 steps day, and back at work (working from home now). Yes the talking with family, friends helped immediately. Go from anger, despair to hope, and smiling.

[shakeyleg02]

My condolences Dave ..i lost a good friend a couple years ago ..we chatted here and there but never knew what he was going through either till after he had a heart attack and passed ..i found out from his wife what was up ..i wished i could have helped but he wouldn't reach out to anyone

[KC1]

Originally Posted by W921

We dont know what was going on at home.
Most farms and ranches are a team when everything is good.
When things are bad, that team thing goes all out the window and markets and weather are the husband's fault.
You dont know what he was living with. He probable did try to share but people dont know what to say and get uncomfortable.
Stress affects people different. I think men try to be there and step up but with women it can be all about self preservation. Haha I guess I'll find out if there are any woman on this forum?
We dont know what was happening at home.
Ranching can be super isolating. Sometimes neighboring outfits can see you as competition. Maybe they hope bad things happen to you.
With covid he probable was not able to visit the friends that he had. Those tailgate chats where probably more important to him than you realized. It might have been the only positive human contact that he had.
People can put on a happy face briefly for people they dont know well but you just dont know what they are living with at home.
Cows,horses,land,trucks and guns dont mean anything if its just you.

X2
Have a few friends who are very depressed right now.
Livestock prices are very very low.
Very hard to get support from government for a farmer/rancher.
Reminds me to reach out to my friends.
Condolences.