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05-07-2021, 09:46 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 416
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In 1975 my father bought me a .22 pellet gun. I shot myself in the face with it. He told me not to do that again. Problem solved. Which was a good thing since I've graduated to gun powder since then.
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05-07-2021, 11:30 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Vancouver Island
Posts: 1,450
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Didn't help the Gates !!
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"One does not hunt in order to kill; on the contrary, one kills in order to have hunted" Jose Ortega y Gasset - Meditations on Hunting
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05-08-2021, 07:21 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Camrose
Posts: 46,534
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Would be even funnier, if it wasn't true.
Quote:
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Today I went to sign my dogs up for welfare. At first the lady laughed and said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare." So I explained to her that my dogs are unemployed, lazy, can't speak a lick of English and have no frigging clue who their Daddy's are. They expect me to feed them, provide a roof over their head and medical care. So then she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify. My dogs get their first checks Friday. What a GREAT country we live in!
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Only accurate guns are interesting.
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05-08-2021, 09:26 AM
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Gone Hunting
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: YEG
Posts: 9,981
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05-08-2021, 09:26 AM
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Gone Hunting
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: YEG
Posts: 9,981
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05-08-2021, 10:26 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: On the border in Lloydminster
Posts: 8,480
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__________________
Si vis pacem, para bellum
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05-08-2021, 01:53 PM
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Gone Hunting
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: YEG
Posts: 9,981
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05-08-2021, 02:23 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Near Edmonton
Posts: 15,834
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 A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost.
She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below.
She shouts to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consults his portable GPS and replies, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level.
You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolls her eyes and says, "You must be a Conservative!"
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answers the balloonist, "everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost.
Frankly, you're not much help to me."
The man smiles and responds, "You must be a Liberal."
"I am, replies the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going.
You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.
You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem.
You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault."
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05-08-2021, 07:03 PM
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Gone Hunting
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: YEG
Posts: 9,981
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05-08-2021, 07:04 PM
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Gone Hunting
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: YEG
Posts: 9,981
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05-08-2021, 07:05 PM
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Gone Hunting
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: YEG
Posts: 9,981
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05-08-2021, 10:14 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 79
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05-08-2021, 10:23 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: central Alberta
Posts: 12,630
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__________________
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This country was started by voyagers whose young lives were swept away by the currents of the rivers for ten cents a day... just for the vanity of the European's beaver hats. ~ Red Bullets
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It is when you walk alone in nature that you discover your strengths and weaknesses. ~ Red Bullets
Last edited by Red Bullets; 05-08-2021 at 10:29 PM.
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05-09-2021, 02:14 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: On the border in Lloydminster
Posts: 8,480
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__________________
Si vis pacem, para bellum
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05-10-2021, 09:41 PM
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Gone Hunting
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: YEG
Posts: 9,981
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05-10-2021, 09:43 PM
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Gone Hunting
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: YEG
Posts: 9,981
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05-10-2021, 09:45 PM
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Gone Hunting
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: YEG
Posts: 9,981
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05-10-2021, 09:46 PM
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Gone Hunting
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: YEG
Posts: 9,981
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05-10-2021, 10:13 PM
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Moderator
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Stony Plain
Posts: 7,023
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__________________
Preacher: “Well, there's a lot of sinners here abouts. You wouldn't want me to leave before I finish my work, would you?”.
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05-11-2021, 09:37 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Vancouver Island
Posts: 1,450
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About right... 
__________________
"One does not hunt in order to kill; on the contrary, one kills in order to have hunted" Jose Ortega y Gasset - Meditations on Hunting
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05-11-2021, 06:21 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: central Alberta
Posts: 12,630
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__________________
___________________________________________
This country was started by voyagers whose young lives were swept away by the currents of the rivers for ten cents a day... just for the vanity of the European's beaver hats. ~ Red Bullets
___________________________________________
It is when you walk alone in nature that you discover your strengths and weaknesses. ~ Red Bullets
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05-11-2021, 07:03 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: N Ab
Posts: 6,531
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__________________
You matter. Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared... ...then you energy.
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05-11-2021, 07:52 PM
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Moderator
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Stony Plain
Posts: 7,023
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__________________
Preacher: “Well, there's a lot of sinners here abouts. You wouldn't want me to leave before I finish my work, would you?”.
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05-11-2021, 09:45 PM
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Gone Hunting
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: YEG
Posts: 9,981
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jungleboy
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05-11-2021, 10:02 PM
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Gone Hunting
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: YEG
Posts: 9,981
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05-11-2021, 10:03 PM
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Gone Hunting
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: YEG
Posts: 9,981
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05-12-2021, 11:17 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Vancouver Island
Posts: 1,450
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Wonder if the two are related 
__________________
"One does not hunt in order to kill; on the contrary, one kills in order to have hunted" Jose Ortega y Gasset - Meditations on Hunting
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05-12-2021, 12:34 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 4,032
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..
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05-12-2021, 09:24 PM
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Gone Hunting
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: YEG
Posts: 9,981
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05-12-2021, 09:33 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: N Ab
Posts: 6,531
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__________________
You matter. Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared... ...then you energy.
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