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11-14-2017, 12:55 PM
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: red deer
Posts: 3,379
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Funny thing you have heard at the blond counter
Kinda a continutaion of gun counter but for blonds/anyones stupid story will go too
So heres mine .....
Wife ..... "something something specific time" ........me - "wait what did you say ?" , followed by :are you %^&*(#$ with me" ?
and again just now .... " Do you have a drill bit in this size"?,"Probably", i reply , as she holds an allen key , i get confused. Well are you drilling a hole honey , no , k ,what are you doing . Stripping down baby crib to go in other room, i bring up all my allen keys from the R bench . She tells me the one i got in my hand fits but isnt strong enough to break the allen screw. Now im really confused and insert the short end first , breaks no problem, break 4 of them . Ask/tell her well that wasnt very tight . She was only putting it in the long way /speed way...
Face palm. Love you honey
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11-14-2017, 01:45 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,449
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Me: hello, can you please tell me where the furnace filters are?
Lowe's Employee: For the fridge?
Me: Yes, the furnace in my fridge is leaking headlight fluid.
Lowe's Employee: Oh that's awful, let me get Dave.
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11-14-2017, 02:01 PM
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: red deer
Posts: 3,379
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bahahahahahahahahahahaha ,priceless
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11-14-2017, 02:25 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Out of Town
Posts: 861
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A buddy of mine bought a new fridge years ago from Leon's. We loaded in the truck and I pulled out of the dock. I then asked him if he got the bottle of freon to fill the fridge, he no, I said that he should give the kid a talking to giving a guy a new fridge with no freon. Well man it was a good time sitting there listing to my buddy give the poor kid a hard time. After a good laugh he gave the kid 20 bucks and apologize. Called me a bit of an .......though.
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11-14-2017, 02:45 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 1,015
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I have so many from my dear wife I don't even know where to start...
Wife: (texts me the picture below) I just got into an accident, do you think it's my fault?
Me: What were you doing?
Wife: Well .. I was signaling right and I was going to turn right but then I decided to turn left (across 2 lanes of traffic).
Me: Probably your fault ........
The boy and I on numerous occasions ....
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11-14-2017, 06:55 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,666
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Princess auto the other day and asked the girl (older lady) where they kept the ether? She looked on the shelf and grabbed a can of methyl hydrate. I said that’s alcohol. She said same thing.
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11-14-2017, 06:59 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,129
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Me: I'll have the fish and chips and please.
Waitress: Would you like fries with that?
Me: No, I do not like fries, but I do like fish and chips.
Waitress: Alright then. One order of fish and chips coming right up.
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11-14-2017, 07:42 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: In the woods
Posts: 8,923
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Me: You know what they say, Karma is a bi*$&
Future Mother in law: Whose Karma and why is she such a bi*$&??
__________________
I feel I was denied, critical, need to know Information!
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11-14-2017, 08:29 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 653
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Playing a trivia game. Blonde friend gets question. Name an American island
Response.... Alaska
Oh my 
Sent from my SM-G530W using Tapatalk
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11-14-2017, 09:20 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ft. McMurray, Ab.
Posts: 135
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Blondes on a park bench
2 blondes on a bench in the park ..full moon rising ..one says to the other I wonder which is closer the moon or California.. the other replies; Dah we can see the moon !!!
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11-15-2017, 06:19 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 598
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Was having breakfast and the waitress asked “ Would you like White toast, or Brown?”... I replied “if it was toasted properly, wouldn’t all toast be Brown?”... her response was “OMG... you’re right, I’ll tell my manager we’re going to have to change the question.”...
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11-15-2017, 08:15 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Leslieville
Posts: 2,500
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My wife was pregnant and chatting with two of her pregnant friends. The first friend said she was on top when they conceived so she thought she was carrying a girl. The second friend stated that her husband was on top, so she was having a boy. My wife starting sobbing, muttering something about having puppies.
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We talk so much about leaving a better planet to our kids, that we forget to leave better kids to our planet.
Gerry Burnie
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11-15-2017, 08:56 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Calgary
Posts: 19,418
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I was performing some maintenance in a tower condo about 6 years ago and the occupant recently moved to Canada from Venezuela, I was describing the baseboard heaters as 'radiation' and she became alarmed for her toddlers health. I had to describe that radiation had more meanings than the one she was interpreting i.e.: car radiator, the sun's radiant heat, etc
Another person was once concerned about the clearance between some structural lumber and a copper pipe that was part of a boiler system, they were concerned about the possibility of a fire. I asked them "when was the last time you witnessed hot water starting a fire?"
Kind of a general discussion forum topic though....
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"The trouble with people idiot-proofing things, is the resulting evolution of the idiot." Me
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11-15-2017, 09:09 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Blackfalds
Posts: 6,945
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putting together a new tv stand i bought for the bedroom, and the gf attached the legs.
there was a little plastic cap that goes between the metal leg and the glass top. it looked like a pop bottle cap, only bigger.
instead of sliding it over the cylinder part of the leg, she flipped it upside down and then started cranking on it with a ratchet. i looked over and saw that the legs (which are supposed to be vertical) were angled out. i let her think about it for a minute and she couldnt figure out why.
i took it apart, flipped the cap over and slid it down the cylinder part and her mind exploded. i also mentioned that she cant just crank down the bolts as tight as she can lol
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Trudeau and Biden sit to pee
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11-23-2017, 01:16 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Near Edmonton
Posts: 15,043
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Went into Canadian Tire last week and asked for an in Car Warmer. Mexican kid that was working had NO idea what I was talking about, which didn't really surprise me. Took him a couple of minutes to look it up on the computer and find the right aisle. Took him with me and showed him what it was, explained how it works. Canadian kid standing beside us was AMAZED that such a thing existed.
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11-23-2017, 01:36 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Calgary
Posts: 2,317
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Anyone remember the old joke about the blonde at the Auto Parts store and the 26-Ounce water pump....? 
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11-23-2017, 02:23 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Wetaskiwin
Posts: 231
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Years ago when I took my hunter training course - one of the instructors was explaining how you are not able to shoot a big game animal that is swimming - one of the kids in the class approximately 15 years old pipes up and asks " if you are swimming and see a moose on the shore can you legally shoot it?"
Instructor doesn't bat an eye, just says " if you have a tag and the season is open and you have a rifle or bow tucked down in your shorts, go for it"
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11-23-2017, 03:54 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 5,606
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[QUOTE=darren32;3667413]I have so many from my dear wife I don't even know where to start...
Wife: (texts me the picture below) I just got into an accident, do you think it's my fault?
Me: What were you doing?
Wife: Well .. I was signaling right and I was going to turn right but then I decided to turn left (across 2 lanes of traffic).
Me: Probably your fault.
You should be happy that this ended that way. I had one lady turned left in front of me and look at the damage to her vehicle!
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11-23-2017, 06:12 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 1,835
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Went into a bank to deposit $225 into an account . I had $230 dollars due to the denominations I had . Told the teller " want to deposit$225 into my acct". Teller "but sir there is $ 230 here. " She could not figure out that I needed $5 back. She deposited $230
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11-23-2017, 06:24 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 297
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Worked at Woolco many years ago. The bimbo at the service counter was
short a few bricks. Had her page: Pete Moss to the Garden Centre, Pete Moss to the Garden Centre, Pete Moss to the Garden Centre
Phoned the paint dept, asked for plaid paint, bought 3 gallons last week and I need to order another gallon. This kept the chap busy all evening looking
for the part number in the paint suppliers catalogue.
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11-23-2017, 09:19 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Edm
Posts: 418
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Had a few bigwigs from Houston visit our facility in Nisku during winter a couple of years ago. One of the younger engineers for our company was blown away that up here in Canada everyone drives electrical vehicles! Even the big trucks are electric! I kind of laughed and said "what?!" As I was kind of confused. He pointed at all the Cars plugged in, in the parking lot on the cold Winter day. And he was dead serious  I was nice enough to pull him aside and give him the rundown on blockheaters.
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11-23-2017, 11:59 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Rycroft
Posts: 21,548
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 223MB
Had a few bigwigs from Houston visit our facility in Nisku during winter a couple of years ago. One of the younger engineers for our company was blown away that up here in Canada everyone drives electrical vehicles! Even the big trucks are electric! I kind of laughed and said "what?!" As I was kind of confused. He pointed at all the Cars plugged in, in the parking lot on the cold Winter day. And he was dead serious I was nice enough to pull him aside and give him the rundown on blockheaters. |
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11-24-2017, 01:33 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: central Alberta
Posts: 12,628
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There was a blonde on one side of the river and another blonde on the other side of the river. The one blond yells over to the other blond," How do you get to the other side of the river?" The blond on the opposite bank yelled back,"You are on the other side of the river!"
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This country was started by voyagers whose young lives were swept away by the currents of the rivers for ten cents a day... just for the vanity of the European's beaver hats. ~ Red Bullets
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It is when you walk alone in nature that you discover your strengths and weaknesses. ~ Red Bullets
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11-24-2017, 01:36 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: central Alberta
Posts: 12,628
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When I worked in Chateau Lake Louise years ago a blonde came up to me and asked me,"When does the snow melt so we can see the glacier?" And she was dead serious.
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This country was started by voyagers whose young lives were swept away by the currents of the rivers for ten cents a day... just for the vanity of the European's beaver hats. ~ Red Bullets
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It is when you walk alone in nature that you discover your strengths and weaknesses. ~ Red Bullets
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11-24-2017, 06:05 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 1,835
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Many years ago after college grad I worked for Alta env land reclamation. I worked with a student from U of A , she was in soils engineering program . Our reclamation work crew went to tour the Forsburg strip mine / coal fired electrical plant . Our tour guide was an engineer. . We were standing at the edge of a berm where the overburden had been stripped off and the U of A gal looks down into the pit and asks " what is the black stuff" The tour guide and I looked at each other with the Scobbie Doo look
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11-24-2017, 10:06 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,604
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I had to lend a consultant from Texas a pair of us glasses.
He didn't bring his because he didn't think he would need them in Canada in February.
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11-24-2017, 10:37 AM
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: red deer
Posts: 3,379
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superuke
Worked at Woolco many years ago. The bimbo at the service counter was
short a few bricks. Had her page: Pete Moss to the Garden Centre, Pete Moss to the Garden Centre, Pete Moss to the Garden Centre
Phoned the paint dept, asked for plaid paint, bought 3 gallons last week and I need to order another gallon. This kept the chap busy all evening looking
for the part number in the paint suppliers catalogue.
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Bahahaha
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11-24-2017, 11:39 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 1,239
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Years ago we had a fellow who worked for us a s shop hand. we needed an extra body for an install in Camrose so he came along for the ride.
I was driving along highway 21, all having a good chat and telling usual BS stories to each other when I drove up to a recently baled field. The farmer had wrapped each bale in bright white plastic, looked exactly like giant marshmallows. I commented to our shop hand, 'look, we are passing the marshmallow farm!" I could feel the confusion in his head from behind me! My coworkers played along, no one batted an eyelash. Then the we passed the next field, the bales were wrapped in green..."and look, there's the mint ones!". That was it, nobody could hold back the laughter any longer!
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11-24-2017, 11:56 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Back in the Kootenays!
Posts: 640
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaberTosser
I was performing some maintenance in a tower condo about 6 years ago and the occupant recently moved to Canada from Venezuela, I was describing the baseboard heaters as 'radiation' and she became alarmed for her toddlers health. I had to describe that radiation had more meanings than the one she was interpreting i.e.: car radiator, the sun's radiant heat, etc
Another person was once concerned about the clearance between some structural lumber and a copper pipe that was part of a boiler system, they were concerned about the possibility of a fire. I asked them "when was the last time you witnessed hot water starting a fire?"
Kind of a general discussion forum topic though....
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Maybe you should have used the correct wording, base board heaters are RADIANT, not radiation...talk about blonde moment!!!
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11-24-2017, 11:57 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Fort McMurray, AB
Posts: 2,514
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[QUOTE=KGB;3674098]
Quote:
Originally Posted by darren32
I have so many from my dear wife I don't even know where to start...
Wife: (texts me the picture below) I just got into an accident, do you think it's my fault?
Me: What were you doing?
Wife: Well .. I was signaling right and I was going to turn right but then I decided to turn left (across 2 lanes of traffic).
Me: Probably your fault.
You should be happy that this ended that way. I had one lady turned left in front of me and look at the damage to her vehicle!
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My wife is a good driver .... but a horrible back seat driver.
Her: it’s up here on the right
I start to signal right...
Her: oh look there it is it’s on the left, you need to turn left. Why did you turn right?
Me: cause I like being alive. We can loop around.
Her: You could have just turned left. People cut me off all the time. You should have just turned left.
Me: that’s ok. We will be there 5 minutes later and in one piece ....
Her: your such a drama queen.
Me : yep. That’s me. The queen of drama.
Her: your such a $@?$ head
__________________
Be sure of your target and what lies beyond.
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